As always, for advice on everything from relationships to bank robberies, shoot me an email at Xxoozero@yahoo.com.
Hey,
I am a college student in my first year studying engineering and like it but I hate where my life is going. My mom busted me for doing drugs and I just feel like I don’t give a shit about anything, politicians and stuff don’t even piss me off anymore. What says you?
Thanks
Well, you’re not alone in politicians not pissing you off anymore. I think we all stopped paying attention a little while ago. Other than that, welcome to the real world. Life sucks. Be thankful you have the drugs. They are your only real friends.
Hello Zero!
I'm completely in love with you, but very appreciative of the fact that I'm not compatible with skeletal-rogue-pirate-ninjas... What should I do?
Hire a hooker and make her wear a Skeletor mask. I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to help…
My high school sweetheart...we were with each other for a long time until prom was about to come up and she told me that she didn’t have time for me anymore so she broke up with me and 2 weeks later she went back to her x. Of course I’m like fuck the bitch. Fuck it. I can find another chick. We talked on and off for about 2-3 years. She dumped her x. somehow all these old feelings come back and she tells me to call her all the time but she never picks up. Nor does she call me back. Sometimes I wanna talk to her sometimes I just wanna say fuck it. Fuck her again! I met other girls that were sooo much hotter than her but all these other girls just don’t compare to her.
Should I move on zero? Thanks for your help
You’re a scorned man, brother, and at such a young age. It’s almost a tragedy. Better you learn now then later though. Ok, enough with my psychobabble, on with your advice…
Fuck that bitch. She is a dirty rotten whore and you don’t need her! You’re thinking too deep on this, you need to let your superficial side take over. Remember all those girls that were hotter than her? Go find them. Go, now. Stop reading and go find them. Sleep with them all. When you’re done, go find more women and sleep with them. Sleep with your ex at the same time.
My point here is to fuck as many women as you can before you die…
Hi
My problem is this, every time I talk to an attractive female I speak to her breasts, am I gay?
Thanks
A woman’s breasts were made so that men would have something to look at when we talk to them. Without the boobs there is no incentive to listen to the babble. It is nature’s way of getting us to kind of listen to what women have to say.
Are you gay? No, you just like breasts. Get yourself a roll of dollar bills and hit the local strip joint.
Dear zero…
I’m a Muslim and here’s my question...how do I stop being a Muslim and get rid off all the brainwashing my parents have done to me?
Get yourself three slabs of bacon and find a nice Jewish girl. Eat the bacon then fuck the Jewish girl. Repeat this process everyday until she gets pregnant. Name the kid Darwin.
XXOOZERO,
Has there ever in your recollection been a clean and totally consensual breakup ever in history (with the exception of O.J. and Nichole.) I ask because I need hope Zero... your the only one who can give it to me.
There have been rumors, but science does not recognize the existence of such phenomena due to extreme lack of evidence. A friend of mine claims that he knew a guy who knew a guy who lived next door to a dude who had an uncle whose best friend had a cousin that had a clean break way back in ’72, but my friends are drunks.
My Girlfriend is sex mad which I don't mind but she thinks I don't like it all the time and is always trying to drug me or get me drunk to get me into bed. What do I do?
Play along with it. Hell, this woman is giving you free booze and drugs for sex. This is the time of your life. Enjoy it while it lasts.