Three Explorers Are Captured...
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Newfoundlander were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.
"The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison."The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!"and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him apistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.
The Newfoundlander says, "Gimme a fork."The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Newfoundlander takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.
The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???"
The Newfoundlander looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe!"
