Raymond Chandler (1888-1959) was the creator of Philip Marlowe, the iconic private detective. Not jokes, but here are some quotes from his brilliant stories:
1. She approached me with enough sex appeal to stampede a businessmen's lunch.
2. I could see, even on that short acquaintance, that thinking was always going to be a bother to her.
3. I called him from a phone booth. The voice that answered was fat. It wheezed softly, like the voice of a man who had just won a pie-eating contest.
4. The General spoke again, slowly, using his strength as carefully as an out-of-work show-girl uses her last good pair of stockings.
5. Even on Central Avenue, not the quietest dressed street in the world, he looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.
6. We sneered at each other across the desk for a moment. He sneered better than I did.
7. I used my knee on his face. It hurt my knee. He didn't tell me whether it hurt his face.
8. He had a battered face that looked as if had been hit by everything but the bucket of a drag-line. It was scarred, flattened, thickened, chequered and welted. It was a face that had nothing to fear. Everything had been done to it that anybody could think of.
9. The voice got as cool as a cafeteria dinner.
10. It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window.
