In a shocking feat of victory, evil has done what movies would have you believe impossible. Optimus Prime has lost "The Touch" and harlots with hearts refuse to save Bond. Villainy abounds as the Indianapolis Colts managed to steal victory, and much more, from the Bears.
Typically, this would be the time to talk about all the evil this Colts' victory means for you and me. Surely, you will see the horror of Bea Arthur in a speedo and the silhouette of Michael Jackson lurking in the sky. The curse of the apocalypse is coming.
There's a more important issue going on here though, one that needs discussion. The issue is called "Judasery".
Judasery is when a friend betrays you, either to go off and score some play or for money, much like Judas of the Christian tradition. Case and point example.
You are at a party. You have a few too many drinks and can't see so clearly by party's end. With blurry eyes, you fall into a state of alcohol induced desperitis (AIDs), where you would hook up with a 2 ton tuna with questionable morals.
It's at this point where a good and loyal friend would pack you up and take you home. Not so for Judas. Judas is the guy who takes pictures of said event, gets a good laugh from it and then posts them on
Spiked. You all know the guy.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that my good buddy, Xxoozero, was a Judas. With an amazing last-second change of heart, Zero pulled the reverse game-bet on me. We both cheered for the Bears, the glory of Ditka, and the ancient genius of the 80's Super-Bowl shuffle. Minutes before the game started, however, Xxoozero painted himself blue and white and switched sides. Betrayed, and caught of guard, the Bears and I fell.
Verily, true believers, mark my words. Hard times are now on us. The next year will be full of villaininity. K-fed will win a Grammy. Old men will wear pink speedo thongs at the beach. That Nigerian prince who loves to email you will upgrade to broadband and get 30 new servers. These wrongs will not be righted until Peyton Manning and his Colts lose again.
So here is your prize, Xxoozero. Your Judas-move put you in the victors circle and I sit, eating my words along with a bag of Doritos. Just know that the evil you wrought will bring dark times for us all. Long Live Ditka.
