Upgrade your browser!

Skip to Content

Clever One Liners

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.... Then it hit me.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was.... resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was.... Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a..... little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is..... pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take..... debate.

The dwarf fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a..... small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got..... twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became.... a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with... stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they will.... always multiply.

What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles..... U C L A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did..... a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was..... on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out..... free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could...... jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought..... tooth and nail.

What's the definition of a will?..... It's a dead giveaway

  • Views: 870
  • All Ages
  • All Ages

Tags Tags: clever liners

Related Media

  • Video:Lobster Story
  • Lobster Story
  • In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walkin. . .
  • Votes 4.18/5 - Views 758 - Comments 0
  • Video:Clever Blonde?
  • Clever Blonde?
  • Q: What do you call a clever blonde? A: Golden Retri. . .
  • Votes 3.04/5 - Views 982 - Comments 0
  • Video:Picture Puns - 3
  • Picture Puns - 3
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.43/5 - Views 4970 - Comments 6
  • Video:Picture Puns - 2
  • Picture Puns - 2
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.37/5 - Views 4907 - Comments 10
  • Video:Picture Puns - 1
  • Picture Puns - 1
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.34/5 - Views 4540 - Comments 6
  • Video:Picture Puns - 4
  • Picture Puns - 4
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.25/5 - Views 4332 - Comments 7
  • Video:Picture Puns - 5
  • Picture Puns - 5
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.2/5 - Views 4340 - Comments 8
  • Video:Picture Puns - 6
  • Picture Puns - 6
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.31/5 - Views 4210 - Comments 6
  • Video:Picture Puns - 7
  • Picture Puns - 7
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.21/5 - Views 4261 - Comments 12
  • Video:Picture Puns - 8
  • Picture Puns - 8
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.32/5 - Views 4136 - Comments 8
  • Video:Picture Puns - 9
  • Picture Puns - 9
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.29/5 - Views 4134 - Comments 6
  • Video:Picture Puns - 10
  • Picture Puns - 10
  • A series of phrases illustrated through clever photo-ma. . .
  • Votes 4.25/5 - Views 4034 - Comments 8
  • Video:Cletus
  • Cletus
  • Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers. . .
  • Votes 3.49/5 - Views 487 - Comments 0
  • Video:Clever Pigeon
  • Clever Pigeon
  • A pigeon comes up with a clever way to transport bread.
  • Votes 4.5/5 - Views 2627 - Comments 9

View All



Rate This Joke:
Rate it 0.5 Rate it 1.0 Rate it 1.5 Rate it 2.0 Rate it 2.5 Rate it 3.0 Rate it 3.5 Rate it 4.0 Rate it 4.5 Rate it 5.0

3.45 out of 5 based on 39 votes

Rating Results:
Earn XP by sharing this video!
learn more

Joke URL:

Embedded Link:

Send This Video To A Cell Phone! Digg

6 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

GregP : LVL 46: VP 5: said:

GregP

3 votes NegativePositive

1016 days 8 hours ago...

Punny

alondite : LVL 18: VP 2.7: said:

alondite

1 votes NegativePositive

1015 days 13 hours ago...

its alright. some good, some bad, some really old. but overall, i like it

InsayneJayne : LVL 46: VP 5: said:

InsayneJayne

1 votes NegativePositive

1014 days 21 hours ago...

*A thief who stole a calendar got..... twelve months.*

gold

pint : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

pint

1 votes NegativePositive

1014 days 14 hours ago...

very clever

DyingBlade : LVL 1: VP 1: said:

DyingBlade

0 votes NegativePositive

1013 days 16 hours ago...

These all were from www.punoftheday.com! Well not bad anyways.

Fake_Account : LVL 13: VP 2.2: said:

Fake_Account

0 votes NegativePositive

1001 days 6 hours ago...

Did you hear about the constipated Math Teacher?
He worked it out with a pencil.

Just thought that came under this branch of one-liners =p.

- Fake -

Post a Comment:

Avatar


The Spikedhumor Drawing!Drawing Coming Soon!
Prize
Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009