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Drunk Hook-Up

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

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14 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

Razgriz : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

Razgriz

9 votes NegativePositive

1044 days 18 hours ago...

Nice, last thing I thought it would be

EmptyApartment.. : LVL 23: VP 3.2: said:

EmptyApartment..

11 votes NegativePositive

1044 days 15 hours ago...

5/5 Didn't expect the ending.

kage_no_shi : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

kage_no_shi

11 votes NegativePositive

1044 days 6 hours ago...

Great Ending ^_^

sk1skar : LVL 36: VP 4.4: said:

sk1skar

11 votes NegativePositive

1044 days ago...

hah same here ^^^

Cariat : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

Cariat

11 votes NegativePositive

1043 days 18 hours ago...

The priest told this joke at my uncle's wedding. Made me feel warm inside. =)
5/5 for the first wholesome joke in a while

elcidcampeon : LVL 36: VP 4.4: said:

elcidcampeon

12 votes NegativePositive

1043 days 10 hours ago...

Good values extolled - a rarity indeed. Kudos!

kuiper : LVL 2: VP 1.1: said:

kuiper

Hidden (Show Comment) -15 votes

1042 days 21 hours ago...

haha sif thated happen in real life tho ited prolly be more like youd better make it a quickie before my wife comes home

InsayneJayne : LVL 46: VP 5: said:

InsayneJayne

1 votes NegativePositive

1038 days 8 hours ago...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Wigz : LVL 20: VP 2.9: said:

Wigz

0 votes NegativePositive

1037 days 17 hours ago...

yea def was not expecting that one

Yazz : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

Yazz

3 votes NegativePositive

1027 days 3 hours ago...

It's things like this that make you think there might be hope for men after all.

Cibic : LVL 1: VP 1: said:

Cibic

1 votes NegativePositive

998 days 10 hours ago...

Nice ending!

keisha4 : LVL 9: VP 1.8: said:

keisha4

1 votes NegativePositive

958 days 5 hours ago...

well, ain't that sweet? kudos to the guy! proves not all men are assholes!

kosomot : LVL 3: VP 1.2: said:

kosomot

0 votes NegativePositive

922 days 9 hours ago...

hahah yeah this is great!

Stoner : LVL 39: VP 4.7: said:

Stoner

0 votes NegativePositive

749 days 3 hours ago...

sweet or not, i wud still nt like to have tht conversation with my son

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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009