A bloke walks into a bar and asks for a pint, the barman walks over to the beer tap and starts pouring the pint. Whilst the barman is doing this the bloke hears a noise coming from the bowl of peanuts so he listens again "alright darlin you're a bit of alright ain't ya"
Confused he turns toward the fruit machine, which happens to be switched off and hears another voice"yoooooooou ugly fucker"
By this point the barman returns and says "are you alright mate, you look like you've seen a ghost?"
The bloke replys:
"You probably think I'm mental but I swear those nuts and that fruit machine were just talking to me."
"What did they say?" asked the barman.
The nuts said "I was a bit of alright and the fruit machine told me I was an ugly fucker"
"Oh," said the barman "that's probably because the nuts are complimentr.y"
"But what about the fruit machine?"
"Oh that's just out of order, mate."
