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Lawyers..

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer..... In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you since you were a young boy,and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. "

The Lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones. do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."

  • hdaackda
  • posted by hdaackda
  • Date 4/24/2006 11:33:42 AM
  • Views: 4936
  • Teen
  • Teen
  • Offensive

Tags Tags: lawyers

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9 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

darkklowntim : LVL 8: VP 1.7: said:

darkklowntim

8 votes NegativePositive

1424 days 6 hours ago...

It's the magical old lady! Yay, magic!!

Acer_Vartan : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

Acer_Vartan

-5 votes NegativePositive

1424 days 1 hour ago...

Bitchy cow, I would have given her the chair.

anko963 : LVL 16: VP 2.5: said:

anko963

6 votes NegativePositive

1423 days 19 hours ago...

those lawyers got pawned by an old lady. hahahahaha....
great joke 5/5

d2d : LVL 27: VP 3.6: said:

d2d

2 votes NegativePositive

1423 days 2 hours ago...

lol

Andrew_Rules : LVL 1: VP 1: said:

Andrew_Rules

2 votes NegativePositive

1422 days 5 hours ago...

old laddy kicks ass!!!

elly : LVL 1: VP 1: said:

elly

0 votes NegativePositive

1417 days 19 hours ago...

the gloves not only fit but were well used

sgr2e : LVL 2: VP 1.1: said:

sgr2e

0 votes NegativePositive

1417 days 7 hours ago...

oh my GOD! lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AshuraKore : LVL 1: VP 1: said:

AshuraKore

0 votes NegativePositive

1407 days 20 hours ago...

holy hell, that old lady knows everything

ThatMexicano : LVL 26: VP 3.5: said:

ThatMexicano

1 votes NegativePositive

1373 days 13 hours ago...

old ladies always kno everythang

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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009