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My Immortal - A Dramatic Reading

"My Immortal is the most famous, notoriously bad fan fiction ever written. Based very loosely in the Harry Potter universe and featuring the blatant Mary-Sue protagonist Ebony (or often times "Enoby"), it reads like a detailed list of everything a fanfic author could ever possibly do wrong, only taken to exaggerated, horrifying extremes. Written by super-tard Tara Gilesbie, My Immortal was originally posted to fanfiction.net sometime in 2006, but was subsequently deleted by the ff.net staff after causing a severe drop in the site's collective IQ. In fact, the fanfic is so unbelievably bad that many refuse to accept that it's real, insisting that Tara was only trolling and that the story is really a parody. Regardless of the author's intent, My Immortal remains one of the most cringeworthy, unintentionally hilarious, so-bad-it's-good pieces of literature the internets have ever shat out."

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4 Comments

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.......... : LVL 42: VP 5: said:

..........

5 votes NegativePositive

182 days 3 hours ago...

If you want to read along:

"Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. “WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Willow’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?” she asked.

“Yah.” I said happily.

“I’m gong with Diabolo.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B’loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was…….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Draco!”

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…………………………………DUMBLYDORE!"

Venomousvole : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

Venomousvole

0 votes NegativePositive

181 days 23 hours ago...

It beats the hell out of the real books! I listened to chapter one and two dramatic reading as well, nobody can read this outloud without laughing.

saltesc : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

saltesc

0 votes NegativePositive

181 days 19 hours ago...

Noooo.... this can`t have been written seriously.

Really?

If I read that first comment I could believe it, just go look at anime loving emo teens at the deviantART forums. So maybe it`s just cuz it sounds so silly when he reads it... well `extra` silly I should say.

Daveoss : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

Daveoss

0 votes NegativePositive

7 days 2 hours ago...

Was that Weird Al reading that coz that was fucking lol as hell

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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009