Q: What do umpires and girls have in common?
A: They both make a lot of calls.
Q: What's the difference between a rain barrel and a bad fielder?
A: One catches drops; the other drops catches.
Q: Why did the umpire penalize the chicken?
A: For using fowl language.
Q: What's the difference between an umpire and a pickpocket.
A: One watches steals; the other steals watches.
Q: What do tough teachers and umpires have in common?
A: They penalize you for errors.
