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India to Launch Cow Urine as Soft Drink

Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India's Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India's biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called "gau jal", or "cow water" – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched "very soon, maybe by the end of this year".

"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. "Its USP will be that it's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."

The drink is the latest attempt by the RSS – which was founded in 1925 and now claims eight million members – to cleanse India of foreign influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva, or Hindu-ness.

Hindus revere cows and slaughtering them is illegal in most of India. Cow dung is traditionally used as a fuel and disinfectant in villages, while cow urine and dung are often consumed in rituals to "purify" those on the bottom rungs of the Hindu caste system.

In 2001, the RSS and its offshoots – which include the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party – began promoting cow urine as a cure for ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer.

The movement has often been accused of using more violent methods, such as killing 67 Christians in the eastern state of Orissa last year, and assaulting women in a pub in Mangalore last month. It also has a history of targeting foreign business in India, as in 1994, when it organised a nationwide boycott of multinational consumer goods, including Pepsi and Coca Cola.

The cola brands are popular in India, now one of their biggest markets, but have struggled in recent years to shake off allegations, which they deny, that they contain dangerous levels of pesticide.

Mr Prakash said his drink, by contrast, was made mainly of cow urine, mixed with a few medicinal and ayurvedic herbs. He said it would be "cheap", but declined to give further details about its price or ingredients until it was officially launched.

He insisted, however, that it would be able to compete with the American cola brands, even with their enormous advertising budgets. "We're going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind," he said. "We may also think of exporting it.

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15 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

disco dirk : LVL 18: VP 2.7: said:

disco dirk

-4 votes NegativePositive

401 days 17 hours ago...

I`m just waiting for the commercial. Is it going to have a cow just urinating on two girls as this soft piano music plays?

Hoemo : LVL 17: VP 2.6: said:

Hoemo

Hidden (Show Comment) -10 votes

401 days 16 hours ago...

I wish someone would drink my urine.

Islamisalie : LVL 25: VP 3.4: said:

Islamisalie

-4 votes NegativePositive

401 days 16 hours ago...

This smells like a load of bullshit.

Sev : LVL 41: VP 4.9: said:

Sev

0 votes NegativePositive

401 days 16 hours ago...

Looks at pole dancing cow gif. *shivers*

Moparz : LVL 39: VP 4.7: said:

Moparz

-4 votes NegativePositive

401 days 16 hours ago...

^^You mean bullpiss... right?

gotto87 : LVL 21: VP 3: said:

gotto87

-2 votes NegativePositive

401 days 14 hours ago...

once u look at the cow gif u can`t look away.

Dark_Enigma : LVL 30: VP 3.9: said:

Dark_Enigma

-4 votes NegativePositive

401 days 14 hours ago...

I`m sry the only way i will drink piss is under to extreme conditions.

1)I`m in a dessert and lit. dying from thirst
2)It`s my own

Other than that there is no justification to drink piss none what so ever

Bloodpool : LVL 31: VP 4: said:

Bloodpool

-2 votes NegativePositive

401 days 13 hours ago...

If Hindus truly revere and respect cows, wouldn`t making their piss a manufactured beverage go against their moral values?

I don`t know how they are going to collect the piss but I`m assuming the cows will be confined and maybe something attached to them so the piss doesn`t touch the ground.

Seems like Hindus should be pissed off that their holy cows might be treated like dairy cattle. Then again this is India. They bathe in the same river they throw half-burnt, moldy bodies into.

rhuitron : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

rhuitron

3 votes NegativePositive

401 days 12 hours ago...

This article gives "Golden showers" a different meaning.




As long as it comes from a cow.

Gardenghoul : LVL 30: VP 3.9: said:

Gardenghoul

11 votes NegativePositive

401 days 10 hours ago...

Good luck with the export.

Mark333 : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

Mark333

-4 votes NegativePositive

401 days 9 hours ago...

Holy crap. And I thought they`d stop at Indian soap and toothpaste made of cow dung (they do exist).

pulprock : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

pulprock

15 votes NegativePositive

401 days 7 hours ago...

heh. i`m indian and even i`m goin "wtf mate O_o"

zubai : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

zubai

-3 votes NegativePositive

401 days 6 hours ago...

Too poor to afford clean water..?

leoleotheiii : LVL 24: VP 3.3: said:

leoleotheiii

11 votes NegativePositive

401 days 4 hours ago...

hmm i wonder if PETA`s gonna have a hand with this.....

the_game_2626 : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

the_game_2626

3 votes NegativePositive

401 days 4 hours ago...

heh im indian too and I go "WTF ?!??!?" at this.......just another dick trynna make money using religious believes? not cool.

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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009