* "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
* "That`s right, not even McGyver could fix it."
* "So -- what are you wearing?"
* "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
* "Looks like you`re gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap`n."
* "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you`re with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you`re with the FTC."
* "We can fix this, but you`re gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
* "In layman`s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
* "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy`s hitting me!"
* "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
* "Please hold for Mr. Gates` attorney."