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Woman 'Married' to Berlin Wall

A woman with a bizarre fetish for inanimate objects has revealed she has been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years.

Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, 54, whose surname means Berlin Wall in German, wed the concrete structure in 1979 after being diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer, whose fetish is said to have its roots in childhood, claimed she fell in love with the structure when she first saw it on television when she was seven.

She began collecting "his" pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests.

While she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who lives in Liden, northern Sweden, said: "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.

"The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier."

While the rest of mankind rejoiced when the Wall, erected by the Soviets in 1961 to halt an exodus from East to West Berlin, was largely torn down in 1989, its "wife" was horrified.

She's never been back and now keeps models depicting "his" former glory.

She said: “What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband."

She is said to have shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence.

Objectum-Sexual or objectophilia is feelings of love, attraction, arousal, and commitment for a particular object.

The mere thought of a relationship with an actual human being seems ludicrous.

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  • Views: 1831
  • Mature
  • Mature
  • Sexual (non-nudity), Offensive

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15 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

Konamix : LVL 5: VP 1.4: said:

Konamix

15 votes NegativePositive

91 days 6 hours ago...

Wow. I thought I knew of alot of crazy fetishes...But man!

Dumber From Watching : LVL 25: VP 3.4: said:

Dumber From Watching

39 votes NegativePositive

91 days 6 hours ago...

"I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy. "

erm....doesn`t that describe a penis?

MrFrunzi : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

MrFrunzi

19 votes NegativePositive

91 days 6 hours ago...

I knew this was going to be a good article from reading just the first 9 words.

duckie the duck : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

duckie the duck

22 votes NegativePositive

91 days 4 hours ago...

Hear that? We Chinese people are thick. =P

NO-FATCHICKS : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

NO-FATCHICKS

15 votes NegativePositive

91 days 4 hours ago...

There is no such thing as a woman with Objectum-Sexuality...just a woman who hasn`t met Chuck Norris. ZING!

Lunearetic : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

Lunearetic

16 votes NegativePositive

91 days 4 hours ago...

Poor wall, hasn`t been erected since 1961...


Seriously though, what the hell is with all the people coming out of "Fucked up" closet lately?

$new$h : LVL 21: VP 3: said:

$new$h

17 votes NegativePositive

91 days 4 hours ago...

"She is said to have shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence. "

oh man. best article ever!

stbasdf : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

stbasdf

9 votes NegativePositive

91 days 4 hours ago...

i wonder what she did for her honeymoon. how can a woman have sex with a concrete wall?

hellrazor : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

hellrazor

-3 votes NegativePositive

91 days 2 hours ago...

I wanna see the video of her getting it on with the fence... Only thing that could ever top this article.. 5/5 for the shear stupidity of this dumb cunt.

firestorm2 : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

firestorm2

6 votes NegativePositive

90 days 13 hours ago...

"i wonder what she did for her honeymoon. how can a woman have sex with a concrete wall?"

Creatively

Unmannedperson : LVL 40: VP 4.8: said:

Unmannedperson

5 votes NegativePositive

90 days 9 hours ago...

^My friend went spelunking down her vagina a while back, he still has not been found.

That should give ya a hint as to "how."

tboyjnr : LVL 36: VP 4.4: said:

tboyjnr

3 votes NegativePositive

89 days 15 hours ago...

There was a newspaper article on this woman that showed something like, "I`m cheating on my husband with a fence" showing her cuddling the fence also. Crazy stuff

draser : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

draser

1 votes NegativePositive

89 days 1 hour ago...

Can someone please explain why another person would have objectophilia?

Sabu : LVL 31: VP 4: said:

Sabu

2 votes NegativePositive

88 days 23 hours ago...

^ Some sort of abnormality in the brain, quite understandable given the brain codes for everything we feel, experience and do. A malfunction in the pathways that code for love, sexual intimacy etc. could lead to objects being attractive in place of another human.
As a result it would feel normal to her just like it would normal for a person to fall in love with a woman or man.
Controversially, this could also be the basis of homosexuality, find out what areas are different and you`ll find out the basis of love in the brain and probably win a nobel peace prize!

Acer_Vartan : LVL 36: VP 4.4: said:

Acer_Vartan

0 votes NegativePositive

86 days 11 hours ago...

^ thanks Dr obvious. Gee you think it might be an abnormality in the brain?? Really, ya thunk it mite bee?

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