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Worker Caught Having Sex With Vacuum


Article Submitted by The Living End.

A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.

The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital's staff canteen.

A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its "nose".

According to the Sun, the contractor was supposed to be locking up the building site near the Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital where his firm is refurbishing administration offices.

The security guard, suitably horrified, told the man to "clean himself and the hoover" before asking him to leave and informing his bosses.

When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland". He has since been fired.

The man's employers, HG Construction, told The Sun: "That behaviour is not acceptable, though it gave a few people a laugh".

Henry Hoover is described on a cleaning website as "famous for its looks, but under its fascia lies a powerful, reliable vacuum cleaner ready to go time and time again."

The man is not the first person to be caught in the act with an inanimate object.

Last year, Robert Stewart was placed on probation for three years after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

And in 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs.

Source
...y hate on people and their inanimate objects?
:(

  • Views: 5625
  • Mature
  • Mature
  • Sexual (non-nudity), Offensive

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15 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

bigvi : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

bigvi

29 votes NegativePositive

633 days 21 hours ago...

All that cleaning and hes still dirty.

InsayneJayne (Admin) : LVL 65: VP 5: said:

InsayneJayne

28 votes NegativePositive

633 days 21 hours ago...

^ of all the members out there, I`m sort of glad you replaced Nova <3

klavlav : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

klavlav

26 votes NegativePositive

633 days 21 hours ago...

Awww, that lil` red hoover is kinda cute...I`d do him! That smirk. That come hither stare! To be fair, though, I think I would opt for the privacy of my own home.

"A common practice in Poland". LOL! I`ll have to use that any time I`m caught in a compromising position!

stbasdf : LVL 36: VP 4.4: said:

stbasdf

-1 votes NegativePositive

633 days 20 hours ago...

when ppl have sex with vacuum cleaners, if it`s on, won`t it rip off their weinners or at least hurt?

Gumpster : LVL 25: VP 3.4: said:

Gumpster

-5 votes NegativePositive

633 days 20 hours ago...

^ deal with it!

Fallen_almost : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

Fallen_almost

1 votes NegativePositive

633 days 20 hours ago...

umm... isnt a vibrator an inanimate object? just because it hums doesnt mean its alive.

KCTron : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

KCTron

Hidden (Show Comment) -10 votes

633 days 19 hours ago...

He must like that InsayneJayne face one it

PizzaBoi : LVL 28: VP 3.7: said:

PizzaBoi

-7 votes NegativePositive

633 days 19 hours ago...

that sucks. literally!

Dillinger : LVL 42: VP 5: said:

Dillinger

-6 votes NegativePositive

633 days 19 hours ago...

Henry is a fag!

epi : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

epi

-4 votes NegativePositive

633 days 17 hours ago...

just one question...

did he use warming lube?

Tom Petty : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

Tom Petty

13 votes NegativePositive

633 days 13 hours ago...

officer doofy reporting for duty

stoney : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

stoney

5 votes NegativePositive

633 days 12 hours ago...

oh the things we do for penis excitement.

grumpybear : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

grumpybear

16 votes NegativePositive

633 days 11 hours ago...

having sex with pavements?? wtf does that mean?

Godspeedyoo : LVL 21: VP 3: said:

Godspeedyoo

6 votes NegativePositive

633 days 1 hour ago...

A hole is a hole.

rhuitron : LVL 31: VP 4: said:

rhuitron

0 votes NegativePositive

632 days 21 hours ago...

Exactly Grumpybear!

Pavements <FTW?

tat would hurt quite a bit.

And Rob Stewart? WTF can you do to a bike???
You, I don`t` want to know.

Btw.

"Epi" got caught by his mom, using a Henry.
*D`oh!*

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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009