A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I`ve got to take you in, pal. You`re obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I`m drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I`m sure," said the copper. "Let`s go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."