A drunk in a bar notices another guy there almost every night. Every night he's there and every night he takes home a different beautiful woman. So, the drunk gets up the courage and asks him his secret.
"How do you do it? You're always taking home these beautiful women!"
The guy says, "I'll let you in on my little secret. I walk up to the woman and say, 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' and if she's game, we go back to my place. If she's insulted, I say, 'Typical nasty weather.' She just assumes she misunderstood and I move on to the next conquest."
The drunk guy figures, hell, if that guy can do it, so can I. So he stumbles over to the buxom blonde at the bar.
"Can I stick a feather in your ass?"
"WHAT?!?!"
"Fuckin' rain!"