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Man Simulates Sex With Bike; On Probatio...

Scotland- A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006.

Source

I think being on a Sex Offender list for three years is a bit much.

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15 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

PizzaBoi : LVL 20: VP 2.9: said:

PizzaBoi

19 votes NegativePositive

744 days 14 hours ago...

man...talk about beer goggles blind.

Gumpster : LVL 5: VP 1.4: said:

Gumpster

8 votes NegativePositive

744 days 14 hours ago...

mabey his bikes made of pie.

snewsh : LVL 38: VP 4.6: said:

snewsh

35 votes NegativePositive

744 days 13 hours ago...

so they arrested him and put him on the sex offenders list for 3 years?

nova1999 : LVL 43: VP 5: said:

nova1999

Hidden (Show Comment) -20 votes

744 days 13 hours ago...

What I fuck my bike all the time, it`s great, it never feels you cumming.

Spartan0021 : LVL 46: VP 5: said:

Spartan0021

11 votes NegativePositive

744 days 12 hours ago...

WHAT THE FUCK?
People cant afford porn anymore or what?

FireballPrincessJr2 : LVL 28: VP 3.7: said:

FireballPrincessJr2

7 votes NegativePositive

744 days 12 hours ago...

I could see fucking a toaster, but a bike? Thats just gross.

magikmicky : LVL 27: VP 3.6: said:

magikmicky

22 votes NegativePositive

744 days 12 hours ago...

how the hell do you fuck a bike?

mooseman : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

mooseman

43 votes NegativePositive

744 days 11 hours ago...

holy shit!
he wasn`t on the street
he wasn`t in a park
he wasn`t in the front lobby but
he was in his OWN room. I don`t know about laws in Scotland, but sheepshagging seems to be acceptable, but a big no-no to banging a bike in your room? pfft pathetic

-DressToKill- : LVL 41: VP 4.9: said:

-DressToKill-

22 votes NegativePositive

744 days 11 hours ago...

My village bike Lucy gets fucked all the god damn time and it don`t make the news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Henri_ : LVL 39: VP 4.7: said:

Henri_

10 votes NegativePositive

744 days 9 hours ago...

nova1999 stop being such a jackass. Trust me, you`re good at it, but stop.

littlep2000 : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

littlep2000

3 votes NegativePositive

744 days 8 hours ago...

Ha, the picture is damn near the bike I ride, I hope it wasn`t actually that one because he should have been riding it for the price.

mrgoldylac : LVL 1: VP 1: said:

mrgoldylac

7 votes NegativePositive

744 days 8 hours ago...

He raped that bicycle. I wonder if it was consensual.

assmaster : LVL 42: VP 5: said:

assmaster

3 votes NegativePositive

744 days 6 hours ago...

Freedom, I won`t let you down....

Led Zeppelin : LVL 24: VP 3.3: said:

Led Zeppelin

6 votes NegativePositive

744 days 6 hours ago...

damn thats petty bad, I mean, he was fukn a bike. an inanimate object. If it was an animal then I might understand because you can argue that that is animal abuse but he was in the privacy of his own room fukn a piece of metal. Thats ridiculous

WilliVanilli : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

WilliVanilli

-1 votes NegativePositive

744 days 5 hours ago...

he was drunk, must have been a Huffy

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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009