aardvark's nose: An uncircumsised penis.
abra-kebabra: An illusion performed after a night on the piss, whereby a kebab is made to disappear down the performers throat, only to reappear a short time later on the back of a taxi drivers head.
aeroplane blonde: A dark haired female who had dyed her hair blonde, ie, equipped with a black box.
air biscuit: A floating body of trouser gas, a fart.
ambassador's hedge: An immaculately trimmed bush.
ankle spanker: An extremely large cock.
apple catchers: The underwear of a larger then normal woman.
aquafresh: A skidmark created on the inside of the trousers of someone wearing a G-string, ie, three stripes of two different colours.
armbreaker: A particularly vicious wank.
arse baby: A huge turd.
arsecons: Of e-mails and phone texting, the use of punctuation to illustrate the condition of someone's arse. Normal arse, (-!-), Lard arse, ( - ! - ), Tight arse, (!), Slack arse, (-0-) etc.
art pamphlet: Any one handed reading material.
atomic mutton: A mature woman trying to look younger than she obviuosly is.
auditioning the finger puppets: Masturbation.
Augustus: Term for a homosexual, from Charlie and the chocolate factory where Augustus Gloop gets stuck up the chocoloate pipe.
