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Eight Steps To Get To Heaven

These are the things the bible says you have to do in order to go to heaven.

  • Jonas22
  • posted by Jonas22
  • Date 7/20/2007 10:09:27 AM
  • Views: 6015
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15 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

ss32 : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

ss32

0 votes NegativePositive

935 days 9 hours ago...

you gotta love this guy!
then again, his doom lies in the bible belt...

therogueranger : LVL 21: VP 3: said:

therogueranger

23 votes NegativePositive

935 days 7 hours ago...

There is too much crap here to disect so I won't bother. Needless to say a lot of the quoted verses are taken WAY out of context.

Malicious_Mirth : LVL 29: VP 3.8: said:

Malicious_Mirth

7 votes NegativePositive

935 days 7 hours ago...

^^ agreed

This is a ridiculous video......any smart intelligent person should see that the Bible speaks in metaphors, hyperboles, and parables. To take ANY of these versus and add a sarcastic voice that keeps saying over and over what intelligent ppl should believe can make any religious text sound like nonsense. I think this was gods plan to let his people choose to believe what they want and through parables, hyperboles, and metaphors he gives us a CHANCE to inflect greater meaning and comfort.....but hey thats what i believe.....This is gonna get voted down so fast but i had to say something......blatant disrepect for someone elses beliefs is close minded ignorance and i felt that i had to say something.....

Thandyman : LVL 27: VP 3.6: said:

Thandyman

-1 votes NegativePositive

935 days 7 hours ago...

Why do these people have to push their agenda on everyone? If you don't want to believe, that's your dicision. Do I post what I believe and make people who obviously don't believe the same listen to it by giving it a catchy title? No. What I believe is very personal. The last time I looked this site was called Spiked HUMOR, and honestly other than being riduculous, does anyone find this humorous?

Jonas22 : LVL 40: VP 4.8: said:

Jonas22

23 votes NegativePositive

935 days 7 hours ago...

We will not remain silent just because you religious types for some reason think your all mighty beliefs should be exempt from any and all criticism.

^Why do you think every single thing on spiked has to be funny? Why aren't you then harassing chinup about all the fights he posts, because those aren't funny. No, you just want me to stop making you question your faith, which is exactly what everyone should be doing.

Question everything. Follow nothing blindly. If something smells like bullshit, it probably is...and my friend, religion reeks for miles.

Violetninja420 : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

Violetninja420

26 votes NegativePositive

935 days 6 hours ago...

"any smart intelligent person should see that the Bible speaks in metaphors, hyperboles, and parables."

Any smart intelligent diety wouldnt be so fuckin vauge if he wanted his followers to have eternal life in heaven. Im sure if and when jesus said, "drink my blood and eat my flesh" didnt think that 2000 years later that would mean eating stale jesus triscuits and drinking grape drink...

Im sure that if indeed the bible spoke in metaphores and hyperboles there is no way we as a people today could understand them. We live in a different time and the context of the words are beyond our scope now, its been way too long. Unfortunatly most christian and catholics seem to only understand a few things from the bible, god is right, the bible is the word of god, and fuck what anyone else thinks.

In the mouth of the right person, the word of god in the bible can mean almost anything in the modern world. They say the bible is against abortion but the punishment for an unruly child is stoning.

I just take it for what it is, a very old story written by men who claim to have been the students of a man claiming to be the son of a god. Some of the teachings are noteworthy, some outlandish, some contradict each other. besides, since when in the history of man have twelve people been able to keep their story straight?

You like the story, fine. you wanna live by it, i suppose thats cool too. just keep your beliefs to yourself please.

Violetninja420 : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

Violetninja420

13 votes NegativePositive

935 days 6 hours ago...

"and honestly other than being riduculous, does anyone find this humorous?"

The video wasnt meant to be all that funny, i know. But your reaction to the video, to me anyways, seemed rather funny.

This is a humor site, yes, but it is also a video site. People post alot of different videos here and they range from humor videos, to special interest, to amazing feats, music videos, television shows, etc... all of which are capable of reaching the main page if it interests enough people. That being one of the reasons i like this site. That and its super-amazing ability to kill time typing a bunch of shit when im supposed to be working ;p

Anyways, if you have a problem with watching videos that might make you question your faith, teach you how to learn japanese, footage of a rally car race, or a ufc fight, or anything else considered "not humor based" and wouldnt interest you, then dont click. simple as that.

rustic : LVL 10: VP 1.9: said:

rustic

Hidden (Show Comment) -9 votes

935 days 5 hours ago...

you probably get pissed at your mom when you wake up at the crack of ten and ask her where breakfast is and she says there's food in the fridge.

That would be too vague for you. Don't be a hater. Don't be stupid.

This video is an exploitation of Christianity and pretty fucking dumb to boot.

Aire : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

Aire

-3 votes NegativePositive

935 days 4 hours ago...

God is fake.. And if you believe in him then i hate you because you hate me due to the fact I'm supposedly going to hell for stuff that I cannot control. =] simple as that.

And all you Christians force your beliefs on us, with signs and church's saying crap about god, and yet you go off on us when we give you obvious reasons why he isn't real, I don't see the difference.

One more thing, if god wants homosexuals to die, then why the hell doesn't he just kill them? Geez if he can make life why can't he take it away? If god was real.. He should kill me right now because I'm apparently a sinner to non sense. but thus I'm still alive like always =]

bovril : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:2007 Winner

bovril

6 votes NegativePositive

935 days 3 hours ago...

4.09 is ridiculous. it's called transubstantiation, cocknob. it's a system of beliefs. just like his belief that he is popular, intelligent and making christians question themselves.

The video was actually quite boring, but obv good for stirring up debate. And this guy just reminds me of a pretentious cock a la Michael Moore, desperately trying to be funny (weather channel - that's topical and hilarious isn't it?) whilst learning more esperanto so he can go hang around with Tobias and Giles as they masturbate to Fahrenheit 911. I can't stand people like this.

It's an interesting video though. More logic and less sarcasm would've been nice.

But still, this guy is just as bad as those who push christianity on people - "Heaven is imaginary, fairytale". Oh, and what a fantastic plug for the site... didn't see that coming. And with a post like 'Jesus is a jerk', you just know it's gonna be full of intelligent discussion.

Personally i don't care what i've gotta do. I'll stick to buying my indulgences off ebay.

gremwood : LVL 38: VP 4.6: said:

gremwood

2 votes NegativePositive

935 days 1 hour ago...

0.5/5 for the mindless guy narrating the video, so he can "help", er brainwash all the others.

lukassvec : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

lukassvec

7 votes NegativePositive

935 days 1 hour ago...

@Jonas22,
I think most people that have posted here are not religious. Most people here are "rational, intelligent people" who can't stand people like this. Just because he can string together sentences using if-then statements doesn't mean he is being logical. They give atheists a bad name.
Also, your last paragraph about question everything makes you sound like you are 15. It is a nice ideology but not realistic. It is not in human nature to notice everything that is done blindly. We try, but its not going to happen. Also, evaluating things based on a bullshit meter is judging things based on a gut feeling. For someone that is tauting logic and discussion, you turn too quickly to answers that you feel are right from the the beginning.

Omeko : LVL 38: VP 4.6: said:

Omeko

4 votes NegativePositive

935 days ago...

Christianity is bull shit.
religion is bull shit.
Blow me.

pokyme : LVL 25: VP 3.4: said:

pokyme

1 votes NegativePositive

935 days ago...

FAKE!

Khantalas : LVL 13: VP 2.2: said:

Khantalas

2 votes NegativePositive

935 days ago...

Shove those bibles up your arse. Oops wait most of you don't have one. Btw the quotations aren't modified in any way. Now go hate people.

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