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Paris Hilton Has Herpes!

Rich socialite, whiney little bitch, and now convicted criminal, Paris Hilton, was recently released 22 days early from her 45 day sentence yesterday morning. The rest of the press can talk about that all they want. I found some better news.

Spiderman Lives!
Some dude dressed like Spiderman is roaming Virginia stealing oxycotin from pharmacies. It seems he walked through an entire grocery store last Monday with the mask on and waited at the pharmacy, somehow without raising suspicion? Maybe Spiderman just isn’t threatening enough to wonder why someone would need to wear a mask into a store… or maybe that sort of stuff happens all the time in Virginia.

As Long as You Eat it…
Indonesian vice-president thinks marijuana should only be illegal if you smoke it. "It's alright to use it as a food seasoning but it should not be fully legalised," he said, misspelling “legalized”. The locals use it in curries and coffee. Ironically, whether you smoke it or eat it you still get stoned. It makes me want to try some Indonesian food...

Boring, Still Better Than the Hilton Case
A bunch of webcasters decided to stop broadcasting for some kind of protest or the other. When I awoke my roommate to tell him of this important news, he threw his phone at me and cursed my name. That’s how important it was! In other news… grass is growing outside my apartment. Still better than Paris… And Finally…

It Was McMahon I Tell You!
A crazy wrestler dude shot his wife and kid. When talking to a friend about this, he said he wasn’t surprised. He claimed to have once met Chris Benoit and asked how he got so big. His answer was to growl and shake a bit. Anyone who uses that answer to any question is suspect…

  • xxoozero
  • posted by xxoozero
  • Date 6/28/2007 1:36:28 AM
  • Views: 15091
  • Teen
  • Teen
  • Language

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15 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

Violetninja420 : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

Violetninja420

63 votes NegativePositive

560 days 19 hours ago...

"A crazy wrestler dude shot his wife and kid"

No shots, he strangled or suffocated them. You didnt mention he killed himself either. I don't know about the other articles accuracy, cuz i havent been paying attention to those particular stories.

If your going to report news, perhaps you should investigate before you sound like some rambling ass.

pyranos : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

pyranos

52 votes NegativePositive

560 days 19 hours ago...

Worst, news, ever.

cavey : LVL 31: VP 4: said:

cavey

53 votes NegativePositive

560 days 18 hours ago...

^^ still better than paris hilton

Elijah : LVL 42: VP 5: said:

Elijah

48 votes NegativePositive

560 days 17 hours ago...

"legalised" is not misspelled. It is the english spelling and quite a few countries prefer it this way, including Indonesia apparently.

protonoto : LVL 13: VP 2.2: said:

protonoto

36 votes NegativePositive

560 days 17 hours ago...

another shitty article. lost all respect for you after the american haters.

1randomguy : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

1randomguy

34 votes NegativePositive

560 days 17 hours ago...

This article is funny.........NAWWWWWWTT!! 0.5/5 Worst article ever from zero, even the muslim bashing was better.

Here in Australia we use S instead of Z aswell and we say in-ter-net instead of inernet like you do in the states.

drnathanuk : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

drnathanuk

31 votes NegativePositive

560 days 16 hours ago...

load of shit

Ally_Cat : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

Ally_Cat

23 votes NegativePositive

560 days 16 hours ago...

protonoto: it took you that long??

digidante : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

digidante

26 votes NegativePositive

560 days 15 hours ago...

seriously... take away zero's right to post news.

for the sake of the community... we beg you.

real news, stop this bullshit wanna be gonzo journalism.

Darkmeister : LVL 30: VP 3.9: said:

Darkmeister

29 votes NegativePositive

560 days 15 hours ago...

You keep digging yourself in, and were more than happy to shovel the dirt back in the hole to keep you there.

and using a fake title to get views...how freaking attention whore is that?

OlaoTakei : LVL 40: VP 4.8: said:

OlaoTakei

30 votes NegativePositive

560 days 14 hours ago...

This just in...
Nobody gives a fuck.

MindHunt : LVL 10: VP 1.9: said:

MindHunt

21 votes NegativePositive

560 days 14 hours ago...

No humour whatsoever. I've seen a lot of articles from this guy, and they all contain the same bland attempts at satirical social commentary.

At this point, I'd simply let it go. Just post interesting and humorous news articles from now on.

TrainRekS : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

TrainRekS

Hidden (Show Comment) -14 votes

560 days 13 hours ago...

how do you say and misspell at the same time ?? unless you spelt out the scentence.

bovril : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:2007 Winner

bovril

20 votes NegativePositive

560 days 13 hours ago...

I genuinely believe zero's main reason for posting is to cause anger and debate (generally directed at him). I mean, the spelling comment was neither necessary nor amusing.

I'd like it if we humble peons had the chance to post blog (i hate that word) type things on the front page, maybe through certain number of votes from the 'jokes' section (currently the only place we can blog). Obviously it'd be carnage as most would abuse it. Still, would make more interesting reading than this article.

tamkinkid : LVL 22: VP 3.1: said:

tamkinkid

Hidden (Show Comment) -9 votes

560 days 12 hours ago...

Ignorant and judgemental. Yes you can be a great american journalist zero. Go for it.

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