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Last Day on The Job

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

  • Views: 2058
  • Mature
  • Mature
  • Language, Sexual (non-nudity), Offensive

Tags Tags: mailman

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7 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

Acer_Vartan : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

Acer_Vartan

8 votes NegativePositive

621 days 5 hours ago...

Has anyone seen a mail man? Despite the stereo type I am fairly sure none have ever gotten laid on their route.

alondite : LVL 19: VP 2.8: said:

alondite

5 votes NegativePositive

621 days 2 hours ago...

Or off their route

Flynn_2006 : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

Flynn_2006

4 votes NegativePositive

609 days 3 hours ago...

well it's a common misconception. the milkman actually is the one who gets laid alot.

Townsville : LVL 25: VP 3.4: said:

Townsville

1 votes NegativePositive

607 days 3 hours ago...

What about the meter reader?

acehole : LVL 17: VP 2.6: said:

acehole

0 votes NegativePositive

594 days 12 hours ago...

GOLD.

zeno1994 : LVL 5: VP 1.4: said:

zeno1994

0 votes NegativePositive

584 days 2 hours ago...

Then what happens to the Milkman?

1randomguy : LVL 35: VP 4.3: said:

1randomguy

0 votes NegativePositive

561 days 17 hours ago...

LOLZ good and top 3 comments were funbny 5/5

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Entry Dates: 11/4/2008-12/15/2008