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Video:

Scarlett Johansson's Lap Dance

So how did Scarlett Johansson celebrate her 21st birthday in November? A trip to Cabo with her best friends? A shopping spree in Paris, perhaps?

Nope.

The luminous young actress revealed on Wednesday's "Late Night With David Letterman" that she celebrated with friends and family — at a New York strip club!

"When I was 20 we went to Disneyland, but this year my brother wanted to go to a strip club, so we went there," she said.

Somebody in the party ordered a lap dance for Johansson, and although she was hesitant at first, she decided to be a good sport and accept the "gift."

She admitted that she felt awkward during the experience, because she hasn't mastered the fine art of conversation with a stripper.

"I never know what to say," Johansson said, "so I ask questions like, 'Are you in school?' [or] 'Is Candy your real name?'"

The experience wasn't just painfully awkward for Johansson, it was just plain painful.

"I had this very tall girl ... she was Amazonian. She was, like, this tall really, really skinny girl," said Johansson. "She was quite manic and strange."

"So she's kind of gyrating into me," she continued, "[but] she was so thin that her pelvic or hip bone or some kind of bone bruised me. It was horrible!"

Johansson stars opposite Woody Allen and Hugh Jackman in the comedy "Scoop," which opens Friday.

CBS

For a massive picture gallery of Scarlett Johansson, which includes two sexy videos of the beautiful actress, click here.

• 3.6/5
• 25905
• 24
• 8/4/2006
• by dockwats

Video:

MPAA Accuses TorrentSpy of Concealing Evidence

The movie studios may have discovered a new and powerful weapon in their war on copyright infringement.

The courts have for the first time found that the electronic trail briefly left in a computer server's RAM, or random access memory, by each visitor to a site is "stored information" and must be turned over as evidence during litigation, according to CNET News.

Jacqueline Chooljian, a federal judge in the Central District of California in Los Angeles, issued the decision while presiding over a court fight between the studios and TorrentSpy, the BitTorrent search engine accused of copyright infringement in a lawsuit filed last year by the film industry. On May 29, Chooljian ordered TorrentSpy to begin logging user activity, including IP addresses, and turn the data over to the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA).

The judge stayed the order on Friday to allow TorrentSpy time to prepare an appeal, which must be filed by Tuesday. She also allowed TorrentSpy to mask the Internet Protocol addresses of the site's users "at least at this juncture."

This may be the first time that anyone has argued that information within RAM is electronically stored information and therefore subject to the rules of evidence, Chooljian said according to court records. Up to now, many Web sites that promised users anonymity, such as TorrentSpy, believed they need only to switch off their servers' logging function to avoid storing user data.The judge stayed the order on Friday to allow TorrentSpy time to prepare an appeal, which must be filed by Tuesday. She also allowed TorrentSpy to mask the Internet Protocol addresses of the site's users "at least at this juncture."

This may be the first time that anyone has argued that information within RAM is electronically stored information and therefore subject to the rules of evidence, Chooljian said according to court records. Up to now, many Web sites that promised users anonymity, such as TorrentSpy, believed they need only to switch off their servers' logging function to avoid storing user data.

Should Chooljian's order stand, the decision could force Web sites to rethink privacy precautions.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation called the judge's decision "troubling" and said it could mean that any Web site operator could be compelled to log user activity anytime they faced a lawsuit. In its privacy policy, TorrentSpy pledges not to collect any personal information about users except when they "specifically and knowingly provide such information."

But user data was stored at TorrentSpy, according to Chooljian. The judge said in court documents that this information survived on TorrentSpy's server RAM for about six hours. RAM is defined by Chooljian as "a chip where volatile internal memory is stored."

The judge agreed with the MPAA that the existence of user data in RAM enabled TorrentSpy to retrieve user information. She also wrote that the data was crucial for getting at the truth in the case, according to records.

"There can be no serious dispute that the Server Log Data in issue is extremely relevant," the judge said in her finding.

Concealed evidence?
In one of the most hotly contested disputes so far in the case, the records show that the MPAA accused TorrentSpy of trying to conceal evidence when the search engine began directing visitors to the servers of an outside vendor.

The MPAA claimed that TorrentSpy did this to avoid being in possession of user information as the search engine anticipated receiving a court order, according to records. TorrentSpy denied the accusations and said that the outside vendor was chosen for "significantly faster processing and delivery."

Among the arguments TorrentSpy made against turning over logs was that the law only required the company to produce documents already in possession. It did not ask for the creation of new records.

But that's exactly what the judge was asking the company to do, TorrentSpy's attorneys asserted in court records. Chooljian disagreed.

"Since the information is already in the RAM, then defendants aren't really being asked to create new information," Chooljian wrote.

She also noted that it was not her goal to set a far-reaching precedent with her decision.

"The court emphasizes that its ruling," Chooljian said in the documents, "should not be read to require litigants in all cases to preserve and produce electronically stored information that is temporarily stored only in RAM."

TorrentSpy's other arguments against tracking users were that the costs were too high and that the action would violate user's privacy and hinder free speech. All were rejected.

In response to TorrentSpy's free-speech argument, the judge cited other cases that had established illegal file sharing "qualifies for minimal First Amendment protection."

Should TorrentSpy lose in appeal, it would likely have seven days to produce data logs, according to the court records. The company's attorney, Ira Rothken, said Friday that it is unlikely TorrentSpy would continue operations in the United States if forced to turn over user data.

Source: CNET

• 3.37/5
• 25265
• 46
• 6/11/2007
• by SpikedLover

Video:

Another Sex Video Scandal

About 40 seconds of material from a video showing former Creed frontman Scott Stapp, Kid Rock and four women having sex, has been published on the web.

It has caused a string of lawsuits by Kid Rock, one of the women on the tape, and now Scott Stapp.

In December of 1999, when Kid Rock and Scott Stapp were on tour together, Stapp filmed himself and Kid Rock performing various sexual acts with four strippers in Kid Rock’s chartered bus.

The video, part of Scott Stapp’s private collection, was allegedly stolen from Stapp’s house and subsequently sold to the World Wide Red Light District, the company that brought you the Paris Hilton sex video.

About a month ago, Kid Rock successfully sued Red Light District, accusing the company of violating his trademark and privacy rights. The judge has signed a temporary court order to stop Red Light District from distributing the video.

Next in line was one of the women on the video, suing Scott Stapp. She accused Stapp of leaking the sex tape to up the sales of his solo album. The woman, identified as "Jane Doe" in the lawsuit, said she believed the video would remain in Stapp's private possession. The lawsuit seeks to prevent sale of the video and asks for unspecified damages, alleging the woman suffered emotional distress.

And now, Scott Strap is suing the Red Light District, to prevent the company from bringing out the video. Stapp's lawsuit alleges that the tape was stolen from a safe at his house. The lawsuit states that Red Light District violated his trademark and privacy rights, causing him embarrassment, pain, suffering and emotional distress.

Red Light District has said the tape came from a third party, but the company denies it has been stolen. They have declined to say how the company's source acquired the video.

• 3.88/5
• 23689
• 11
• 3/16/2006
• by qtnik

Video:

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj

Who could forget the original Van Wilder flick... where several college punks get duped into guzzling dog semen...

Mort Nathan (who was the supervising director of 25 "Golden Girls" episodes in the late 80s) will direct this time (not Walt Becker).

While Ryan Reynolds starred in Van Wilder, Kal Penn (from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) will be the main star in Van Wilder Deux: The Rise of Taj. He was easy to laugh at in Harold & Kumar, so I'm sure his role is to make this movie a success, starring as "Taj".

In the sequel to its successful predecessor, Taj attends England's Oxford University to further his education while also showing the uptight students how to have a good time.

I'm normally one to assume that a sequel like this will be a complete rip-off, but I'm giving this a chance.

Click here to watch the trailer right on SpikedHumor.

Click here to go to the official site for National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj.

• 3.64/5
• 23066
• 17
• 11/16/2006
• by Scienott

Video:

9 Reasons American-Haters Are Idiots

1. Your beer is not better than ours
I hate to be the one to break this to the Germans, but Colorado has better beer. Here is a link to a list of Colorado Breweries.. There should be no more argument on this subject. If so, the rules state there has to be a drink-off. It will be me and some chicks versus some foreign guy and some chicks. Challenger buys.

2. Your chicks may be skinnier, but ours have bigger boobs
Boobs are what matter the most. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Although I do agree that Brazil kicks America’s ass when it comes to hot chicks... and European women are much more open about sex... and most foreign women like American dudes while the opposite is true here... wait, there was a point here and I think I broke it...

3. Fuck soccer
Girls play soccer. It’s not called football, it is called soccer. There is a reason the Vince Lombardi trophy is not awarded to the winner of the world cup. Vince was a man who only stood for man stuff, like football and running until you pee blood. Soccer players don’t pee blood. They pee horseradish. I’ve seen it...

4. Red Foreman was an American
So were Thomas Jefferson, The Rock, Hunter S Thompson, and Richard Pryor. Don’t get me wrong, there are cool guys in the rest of the world. Just not as many. What’s that you say? You don’t think The Rock belongs on that list? The Rock wipes a monkey’s ass with what you think. Oh yeah, and we’re taking Sean Connery. I claim him for America. Don’t dispute me. I’ll sick my monkey on you bastards!

5. 90% of the time, your country sucks worse than ours
I always find it funny when some asshole starts yammering on about how America sucks and when you ask him where he lives he says some shit like “France”. France has no room to talk about anyone else. At least the United States doesn’t have rioting going on in the streets and stupid guys named “Pierre” walking around drinking wine and speaking French. Maybe we do, but those guys get their asses kicked here. Unless they are Canadians, in which case it’s best to leave them alone during hockey season.

6. Your leaders don’t stand up to Bush…
We don’t allow dictators to terrorize the rest of the world, so why does the rest of the world stand idly by and allow them to terrorize us? A sarcastic thanks goes out for all the actual help the rest of the world has given us agaisnt Bush. I guess taking out that Hitler guy must have been a freebie or something... speaking of Hitler...

7. WWI and II
We stopped the Germans from taking over the world. TWICE. This earth would be a lot worse of a place if it weren’t for the USA. German beer for all? We already discussed that in the first entry. Shizer porn everywhere? I’ll pass. The rest of the world can go ahead though; America is not here to judge.

8. Freedom
Not everybody has freedom. When someone doesn’t have freedom, they get mad at America for having it. What they don’t know is we get searched by cops for no reason, harassed by airport security at every turn, and lied to by our officials about everything they know. People without freedom: don’t hate America! We don’t have freedom either.

9. In the end, we are all products of the rest of the world anyways...
Only the Native Americans have no roots somewhere in the rest of the world. If anyone should be hating people in this world, it should be the god damn Indians hating the rest of the world for what they sent over here. Look at the mess you people caused over here. It used to be a nice forest. Shame...

• 2.74/5
• 15219
• 163
• 6/17/2007
• by xxoozero

Video:

TorrentSpy Ordered to Start Tracking Visitors

A court decision reached last month but under seal until Friday could force Web sites to track visitors if the sites become defendants in a lawsuit.

TorrentSpy, a popular BitTorrent search engine, was ordered on May 29 by a federal judge in the Central District of California in Los Angeles to create logs detailing users' activities on the site. The judge, Jacqueline Chooljian, however, granted a stay of the order on Friday to allow TorrentSpy to file an appeal. The appeal must be filed by June 12, according to Ira Rothken, TorrentSpy's attorney.

TorrentSpy has promised in its privacy policy never to track visitors without their consent.

"It is likely that TorrentSpy would turn off access to the U.S. before tracking its users," Rothken said. "If this order were allowed to stand, it would mean that Web sites can be required by discovery judges to track what their users do even if their privacy policy says otherwise."

The Motion Picture Association of America, which represents Columbia Pictures and other top Hollywood film studios, sued TorrentSpy and a host of others in February 2006 as part of a sweep against file-sharing companies. According to the MPAA, the search engine was sued for allegedly making it easier to download pirated files. Representatives of the trade group could not be reached for comment.

The court's decision could have a chilling effect on e-commerce and digital entertainment sites, said Fred von Lohmann, an attorney with the Electronic Frontier Foundation. He calls the ruling "unprecedented."

EFF, which advocates for the public in digital rights' cases, is still reviewing the court's decision, but von Lohmann calls what he's seen so far a "troubling court order."

This is believed to be the first time a judge has ordered a defendant to log visitor activity and then hand over the information to the plaintiff.

"In general, a defendant is not required to create new records to hand over in discovery," von Lohmann said. "We shouldn't let Web site logging policies be set by litigation."

Many Web companies keep visitor logs, which can include Internet Protocol addresses, as well as other information. Some choose not to record this data, including EFF, von Lohmann said.

Source: ShoutWire.com

• 3.25/5
• 14669
• 33
• 6/9/2007
• by SpikedLover

Video:

Pr0n's Take On Horror

I really don’t feel the need to give you the latest update on this era’s so-called horror movies, but rather I’ll give you a contrast between today’s horror flicks and the ones from twenty and thirty years ago. The horror movies today are a mockery of what classic films such as “The Exorcist” really stood for. Now let me get to the real point and show you what past films had that was so exciting and exhilarating.

The effects and blocking were awful. Blocking, according to Wikipedia, is the movement and positioning of the camera and actors in a scene. Take the last scene from old horror movies. The killer would finally be killed. There would however always be a young woman leaving a gun next to the killer. A brilliant idea, for the killer would always get up and shoot her from behind. This is what made the movie so canny, and you scream and scream at how reckless the young woman is being. You may even get a laugh or two as the killer walks off the screen with the gun still in his hand while the screen blinks “To Be Continued…”. Do you really want it to continue, though?

Back then, sequels were way too easy to come by. Hell, the independent masterpiece “Halloween” evolved into eight after the first one and “The Friday the 13th” franchise had ten of their own including “Freddy vs. Jason”. What made the first couple in each series so great was that the story line and characters were the same every time. Jamie Lee Curtis starred in four of the eight “Halloween” movies and I swear she ends up visiting a mental institution in at least three of them. These days, if you try to show off a sequel to a horror movie from only three to four years back, (you should) be prepared to get your ass kicked by the critics.

Here are a couple of examples of great horror movies from past years. Let’s start off with the beauty of “Cannibal Holocaust” which was created in 1980 and directed by Ruggero Deodato. “Cannibal Holocaust” depicts an NYU professor who travels deep into the Amazon to find the true nature and intent of filmmakers lost while filming tree-people. . He is much luckier in his travels than his fellow explorers and he safely makes it out alive with their coverage. He unravels the dark truth of the Amazonian tree-people he befriended, as he watches intense scenes of their horrific cannibalism, laced with gore and violence. The live animal killings led to the ban of the movie in Italy and fifty-nine other countries. Supposedly, the effects in the film were so realistic that Deodato had to show his actors in Italian court in order to proof they were still alive. Hey, this movie even had a couple sequels to go along with it, making it a complete 80’s horror film.

Another great horror classic that almost everyone can relate to is “The Exorcist”. (Anyone not familiar with “The Exorcist” should read the following synopsis.) This movie, based on the 1971 novel by William Peter Blatty, marries three different scenarios into one extraordinary plot. A visiting actress in Washington, D.C., notices dramatic and dangerous changes in the behavior and physical make-up of her 12-year-old daughter. Meanwhile, a young priest at nearby Georgetown University begins to doubt his faith while dealing with his mother's terminal illness. And, book-ending the story, a frail, elderly priest recognizes the necessity for a show-down with an old demonic enemy. This movie has gained so much popularity that it has been chastised in different pop culture movies such as “Scary Movie 2”. What makes it great is the unrelenting script that one can fall back on when the movie lacks real emotion. As long as this world holds on to a copy of this original, I’m sure this movie will be passed on and loved by future generations.

Let’s turn our attention to remakes of films that are only twenty to thirty years old. Come on, the movie was only created a few years ago; if I want to see something crappier I could just watch something on ABC. The bad horror movies coming out of Hollywood these days are unbearable to watch. “The Amityville Horror” remake of 2005 was so god-awful I couldn’t stand around letting anyone else who received the Netflix DVD watch it, so I broke it. Yet, at the box office it made close to $65 million. How could this be possible, you ask? Well anything with the same name of a horror movie from years ago is bound to be good, obviously! It just doesn’t make sense to me how people these days forget the classics and go for the newest thing on the shelf with the same name.

I know what you are going to post in the comments. You are going to say, “If you don’t like it then don’t watch it”. Well I won’t watch it but hear me out when I say that today’s horror movies should be original like “Saw”. It turned out to be a real masterpiece.

Directors and producers use your money wisely, hire good script writers. Just make sure you aren't creating the same crap. Make Hollywood gore fests and hell raisers as original as twenty to thirty years ago.

Cannibal Holocaust Info
Wikipedia Blocked

• 3.86/5
• 14089
• 17
• 3/27/2006
• by Pr0n

Video:

Paris Hilton Starts Serving Jail Term

Admitting she was frightened, Paris Hilton traded in her designer clothes for jail garb (clothes) on Sunday night as she began serving a 23-day sentence in Los Angeles for violating probation, her attorney said on Sunday.

"Paris Hilton has turned herself in to begin serving her sentence for violating probation at a Los Angeles County Jail located in Lynwood, California," attorney Richard Hutton said in a statement.

It also quoted the 26-year-old hotels heiress as saying: "This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make ... Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence."

According to the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, Hilton was booked at 11:38 p.m. PDT on Sunday (2:38 a.m. EDT/0638 GMT Monday).

Hilton was arrested for drunken driving in September, and, in January, pleaded no contest -- the equivalent of a guilty plea -- to a reduced charge of alcohol-related reckless driving. She was sentenced to three years' probation and had her license suspended.

But the heiress was caught driving on a suspended license in February when police stopped her for going over the speed limit with her headlights out at night. A traffic court judge ruled on May 4 that Hilton's latest offense constituted a probation violation and sentenced her to 45 days in jail.

Hilton will be held in a unit for celebrities and high-profile inmates at the jail. The unit is separated from the general prison population.

Source

• 3.39/5
• 12677
• 21
• 6/4/2007
• by SpikedLover

Video:

9 People The World Could Do Without

1. George Bush
Come on, you knew he would make the top of the list. And not just because he is half-man half-monkey. He is single-handedly responsible for destroying the image of all that is good and free in this world. For generations folks all over the world will hate America solely because of him. Hitler was popular compared to Bush. First we beat them in Beerfest, and then we beat them in evil dictators. Take that, Germany.

2. Paris Hilton
If ever there was a person in this world that should be labeled as “useless”, she’s the one. I don’t see why old stick-butt is worried about going to jail, it’s not like she has to be at work. Ah, there is a novelty; Paris Hilton and work mentioned in the same paragraph. Don’t get used to it because it will never, ever, ever happen again.

3. Tom Cruise
Shouldn’t he be old already? Why is he still running around like a twenty year old telemarketer on crack? He seems like he would be more at home doing infomercials than putting out crap-fests such as MI:3. Is that a predication? Nope. It is an inevitability. Chuck Norris may have some competition soon…

4. Sylvia Brown
The last thing we need is an aged fat woman lying to folks about their dead family members and getting rich doing it. Dead people do not talk to anyone… because they are dead. That is not just me making things up; it’s a pretty widely accepted scientific fact. Almost as wide as her fat ass. I’m sure Montel Williams could tell you that, he seems to be up it every other week on his show.

5. Steve Jobs
We don’t really need Macs; we have the PC. We also don’t need some asshole that puts “i” at the beginning of every word and tries to pass that gay shit off as cool. He is currently trying to create some sort of army of what he likes to call “Mac Geniuses” to help him take over the world. I’ll bet they eat tofu and drive around in Volkswagen Bugs. If I ever see any of these fools, I’m going to punch them in the face in the name of all that is PC.

6. Osama Bin Laden
I’m sure his parents are extra proud of him. All that time spent learning how to use religion to get folks to kill each other really paid off. He also does a nice job getting other people to commit his murders for him. He is almost like the Arab version of Charles Manson, just not as cool.

Note: he is really skinny because he doesn’t eat bacon. Never trust a man who doesn’t eat bacon.

7. Tom from MySpace
He has created a monster and if there is any justice in this universe, he will burn in whatever passes for a hell in whomever’s idea of the afterlife turns out to be correct. “Hey, I know, I’ll create a website where it takes exactly no knowledge of computers to create a webpage and let little girls whore themselves out to old pedophiles while posting gay ass surveys and pictures that don’t make them look so fat.” What a great fucking idea… ass.

8. The entire Middle East
Sure, it’s true this is more than one person. I don’t care; the entire region is being lumped together for this list. If it was blown off the map tomorrow a full half of all the wars, death, and assholes would disappear from the earth. I often wonder how a civilization that has been on this planet longer than anyone else never learned the simple task of getting along.

9. Zero
Yeah, sure. But without me, who is going to write all these brilliant, Pulitzer-worthy top 9 lists? Some other guy without a girlfriend probably…

• 3.51/5
• 12033
• 38
• 5/24/2007
• by xxoozero

Video:

9 Habits That Make You an Asshole

1. Not tipping
People who provide good service should always be tipped. Don’t be an asshat. Folks in certain industries depend on that shit. If someone goes out of their way to ensure your happiness, you can come off a few bucks. Non-tippers deserve to be nut-kicked by a concrete boot.

2. Not controlling your kids
It seems everywhere I go these days some wild ass little fucktard is running around a public place (stores…theaters…public parks) bothering otherwise decent folks with their monkey-like annoyance while their parents look on helplessly. Red Foreman would not put up with such behavior. We need more guys like Red Foreman in this world.

3. Driving slow
No one likes to be stuck behind the guy who has to slow to a turtle-crawl to make a left turn at a stoplight which only stays green for so many seconds. Turning a vehicle is not a complicated task. If your brain can not function in such a timely manner you should not be allowed to drive. Other people would like to make that turn as well. Don’t be a dick.

4. Not picking up your trash
We all know at least one guy always leaves a little piece of whatever he was doing on your end table or floor after he is gone. There are always trash cans around. Not using a receptacle to rid yourself of trash is just lazy. Like the old owl used to say, “Give a hoot, Throw your fucking trash away!”

5. Holding up lines
If there is even one person waiting behind you it is common courtesy to do what the fuck you came to do and move on. No one has time to wait on a person who has had ample opportunity to decide what they wanted before they got to the counter. Holding up other folks makes you a dredge on society’s functionality. Please think about this thoroughly the next time you plan on taking fifteen minutes in the express lane learning to write a check for a 7$ purchase.

6. Not yielding for pedestrians
In case you were wondering… yes, the phrase “the pedestrian always has the right of away” is meant to be taken literally. It is not going to kill you to observe the rules of the road and wait a few seconds for an old lady to finish crossing the street before you attempt to run her down. Decent folks who do not see the need to drive everywhere should not be at risk of their lives every time they enter the realm of the crosswalk because some idiot soccer mom bought an SUV and absolutely can’t be arsed to spare ten seconds of her day to let some kid cross the damn street.

7. Asking stupid questions in public
If you are going to be a dumb-ass, please do so in the privacy of your own home. Regaling others with the scope of your stupidity in such places as a fast food lunch counter or the local supermarket checkout line does not make you cool. Asking such things as “How late are you open?” when there is a clear-as-day sign on the door as you walk in lacks common sense. While it may be true that ignorance is bliss, it is exactly the opposite for those who are forced to witness it.

8. Arguing with your girl in public
Not a single person in this world cares the least little bit about your relationship problems. Whenever I see some asshole and his significant other acting like children in front of total strangers the first thought that comes to my mind is the need to bring back the old tar and feathering punishment. There are reasons you have your own home. One of them is so other people aren’t bothered with your failed love life.

9. Thinking you are too cool for the rest of society
Everyone hates the type of people who walk around with sticks stuck up their asses. Old Chuck was right when he said we are all part of the same shit heap. In essence we are all just animals roaming this earth. In a perfect world everyone would be treated with equal consequences and respect by everyone else. This planet would be such a nicer place to live if everyone could follow that simple rule.

• 3.78/5
• 11508
• 20
• 6/6/2007
• by xxoozero