Video:
A store that sells husbands has just opened in Ottawa where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: “Floor 1 - These men have jobs.” The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: “Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.” The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: “Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.” “Hmmm, better.” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads: “Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, and help with the housework.” “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: “Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.” “Oh, mercy me! But just think what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: “Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.”
Video:
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..." God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road? Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion
2. It chatters constantly at high speed
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!
"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.
