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Video:
A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.
The blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.
Again, the blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.
She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.
He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."
3 woman, a blonde a brunette and a red head are trapped on top of a burning building and they are screaming for help. Moments later the fire brigade arrive at the scene and one fireman shouts to the women. Fireman: Ladies! we are going to take out the safety net now and i am going to get each of you to jump down one at a time. We need you to follow our instructions quickly. You the Brunette! On the count of 3, jump. The brunette on the count of 3, jumps and just as she's about to land in the safety net, the firemen pull away and brunette smashes into the pavement. Fireman: You the Redhead! on the count of 3, jump! Red head: No way am i going to jump! You pulled away the safety net just now! Fireman: No no! we pulled away the safety net cause we friggin hate brunettes! We love red heads! Now jump! So the Redhead bravely leaps. Again, just as she's about to fall into the safety net, the firemen pull away and laugh as she smashes into the pavement. Fireman: Blondie!! it's your turn! Jump! We have you! Blonde: No way am i going to jump! you bastards pulled away the last two times. Hell if i jump. Fireman: No no! We hate brunettes and redheads! Truth is we love blondes! Now shut up and JUMP! Blonde: Hell no! I don't trust you bastards! Now hands off the safety net and i will jump! - the end -
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .." He sighed......... ....... "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."
One Day 3 Men Were working on a building. One of the men was Mexican, one of them was a black man, and the other was a blond guy. When lunch time rolled through, the Mexican guy opened his lunch box and said "Ah not again, doritos and burritos... If i get this tomorrow I'm going to jump off this building..." Then the black guy opened his lunch box and said "Ah Man I Got Fried Chicken And Watermelon... Again! If I get this tomorrow I'm Going To Jump...." Third Guy... Blond Guy Opens His Lunch Box And Says "Aw Man I Got Pizza And Sun Chips Again... If I Get This tomorrow I'm Jumping..." Well The Next Day They Got The Same Lunches And They All Jumped... By The Time Of The Funeral And Mexican And The Black Man's Wives Were Both Going On About How If They Knew To Pack Something Different They Would Have... And They Turn To The Blonde Guy's Wife And She Says "Hey, Don't Look At Me... He Packed His Own Lunch..."
A man's wife was pregnant and possibly going into labor. Not knowing what to do, he called the doctor for advice. He spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man ?" The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!" The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!" The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?" "Yes! He only has one ear!" The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!" The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office. The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?" The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses." The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled _expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?" The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double pane energy efficient kinds, in a beautiful yellow shade similar to my hair. But this week, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! "Helllooooo? It's been a year," I told him! There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.... He didn't call back. Guess I won that stupid argument.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Frank was on trial for first-degree murder, facing lethal injection if convicted, and the trial didn't seem to be going well for him. His brother had been eyeing a good-looking blonde on the jury throughout the whole trial, and before the jury began deliberating he approached the blonde and told her he'd give her $10,000 if she could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter. The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter. After the trial, the brother went to the blonde's house, told her what a great job she had done and paid her the $10,000. The blonde replied, "I tell you, it wasn't easy getting them to change their minds like that. They all wanted to acquit him!"
