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Video:
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. 'I'm sorry', says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any!' But I always buy it here,' says the blonde 'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist. 'YES', said the blonde, 'I'll go home and get it.' She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, 'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant' Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container......... ....(Wait for it)..... 'TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.'
It was a really hot day and this blonde decided to go buy a can of Coke. She went to the Coke machine and when she put her money in, a can of Coke came out -- so she kept putting money in. Now since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy in line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!" And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
1. The waterproof towel 2. Solar-powered flashlight 3. A submarine screen door 4. A book on how to read 5. Inflatable dartboard 6. A dictionary index 7. Ejector seat in a helicopter 8. Powdered water 9. Pedal-powered wheelchair 10. The waterproof tea bag
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where driving down the road, when a cop starts to chase them. They rush off and crash into the side of a barn, they immediately jump out of the car and hide under potato sacks. The cop runs in after them, and the first potato sack he comes to the brunette is under. He kicks it and the brunette says, "MEEEEOOOOOOW," and the cop says, "Oh! It's just a stupid cat." He then moves to the potato sack the redhead is under and kicks it. The redhead replies, "ROOF, ROOF," the cop, angry now, says, "STUPID DOG!!" Then the cop gets to the potato sack the blonde is under, he kicks it with great force and the blonde screams, "POOOOOOTAAAAAAATOOOOOOO!"
One day, The FBI had brought a redhead, brunette, and a blonde to their HQ to participate in a Lie Detector test. First of was the redhead, one cop said: did you have an affair with anyone? The redhead answers: no! (TING) she has said the truth. The brunette is up: again the cop said: (have you ever smoked in your life? The brunette answers: yes! (TING) she has said the truth. Finally came the blonde, her first question was: I am going to ask you a question and you will answer it truthfully, understand? the blonde answers: yes! (BEEP) (BEEP) (BEEP)
A blonde decides she needs some spice in her life. She goes to the closest adult film store, finds a video she thinks she will enjoy the most, and takes it home with her. The clerk at the store gets a phone call from the blonde about an hour or two after she left. "Your video doesn't work on my VCR." the blonde says. "Sure your VCR isn't broken, ma'am?" the clerk replies. "It's not. I tried another one of my videos in it after I put your video in. My VCR still works and actually works better. But your video doesn't work." "OK, ma'am. I will get you another copy. What's the name on the box of the tape?" the clerk says. The blonde replies, "The box says 'head cleaner'."
Shortly after the 911 Emergency Number became available, a blonde lady who was quite ill appeared in a hospital emergency room after driving herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, "Why in the world didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?" The lady said, "My phone doesn't have an eleven on it."
A beautiful young blonde lady goes to the doctor for a check up. the doctor wants to take her temperature. "where shall I put the thermometer?" he asks. The girl replies, "uh... not my mouth doc I might swallow it." "okay, lets try your armpit." the doctor suggests. "well it might tickle me doc. how about my butt?" "okay then," the doctor says, he puts the thing in her behind. After a while the girl giggles and exclaims, "that's not my butt, doc" the doctor replies, "well, that's not my thermometer either."
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
