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Video:A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They hit if off, and end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is littered with teddy bears.

Hundreds of small bears sit on a shelf near the floor, Medium sized bears are on the next shelf up, and huge bears line the top shelf. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have so prolific a collection of teddy bears, but he opts not to make mention of it.

After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how was it?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”

 

Video:Red neck joke

Red neck joke

A son comes home from college to West Virginia and tells his dad about a wonderful girl he’s met.

“Dad, she’s fantastic. She’s smart, in great shape, and she’s getting her teaching certificate this spring. I’m going to ask her to marry me, but…”

“But what, son?” asks the father.

“She’s a virgin.”

The father scratches his beard and says, “Son, if she ain’t good enough for her own family, she damn sure ain’t good enough for ours.”

 

Video:Games Kids Play

Games Kids Play

... It was a rainy afternoon and Billy wanted to go out and play, but his mother said, "NO Billy it's pouring out!"

An hour later Billy comes back and asks, "Mommy it's not raining anymore, may I go out now?"

His Mom looks out the window and says, "I guess so."

So little Billy runs into the kitchen and grabs a bag of M+M's of the counter and goes outside, He sits down on the curb, takes an M+M throws it up in the air catches it in his mouth, bites his cat, Mittens and moves over on the curb.

Billy's mom looks out the window and see's this going on and she just ignores it. Ten minutes later Billy takes an M+M throws it up in the air catches it in his mouth bites his cat and moves down the curb more.

So hi mom seeing this going on again goes outside and says "Billy what on earth are you doing?"

Billy says "just playing Trucker! Popping pills, eating pussy, and moving on down the road"

 

Video:Just another day at School

Just another day at School

A primary school teacher in the Bronx decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. Who knows what sound a cow makes?

she asked. Mary put her hand up and said Moooo!

Very good replied the teacher, what sound do sheep make? Baaaa answered Johnny.

She continued this for a while. Then she asked What sound does a pig make?

All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose the shy little boy at the back of the class.

He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed, Up against the wall, motherfucker!

 

Video:The Birds And The Bees

The Birds And The Bees

A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears.

"Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

"Oh dad," the boy sobbed, "when I was 6 I got the there's no Santa speech. At 7, I got the there's no Easter Bunny speech. When I Was 8, you hit me with the there's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you tell me that grown-ups don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for.

 

Video:Tequila For Mi Amor

Tequila For Mi Amor

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned.

The Genie says,"Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."

The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila."

The Genie grants him his wish.

When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear...looks like tequila. Then smells the liquid... smells like tequila. So he takes a taste, and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.

The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuelo, Consuelo, come quickly!"

She comes running down the hall, and the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is tequila.

Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank and partied all night.

The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two glasses. The result is the same. The tequila is excellent, and the couple drinks until the sun comes up.

Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife, " Consuelo, grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila." His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.

The Mexican begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?"

Pancho raises the glass and says, "BECAUSE TONIGHT, MI AMOR, YOU DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE."

 

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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009

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