Video:
Totally Useless Facts.
The "pound" key on your keyboard (#) is called an octotroph.
The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
The "dot" over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
Table tennis balls have been known to travel off the paddle at speeds up to 160 km/hr.
Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name.
The original story from "Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights" begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy."
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life. What about milk you say? A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
Michael Jordan makes more money from NIKE annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
The volume of the Earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.
Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop faster than the rest of us.
Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.
Ham radio operators got the term "ham" coined from the expression "ham fisted operators," a term used to describe early radio users who sent Morse code (i.e., pounded their fist).
The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is "Live Free or Die." These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord.
Chinese Crested dogs can get acne.
Hydrogen gas is the least dense substance in the world, at 0.08988g/cc.
Hydrogen solid is the most dense substance in the world, at 70.6g/cc.
Each year there is one ton of cement poured for each man woman and child in the world.
The house fly hums in the middle octave key of F.
The only capital letter in the Roman alphabet with exactly one end point is P.
The giant red star Betelgeuse has a diameter larger than that of the Earth's orbit around the sun.
The longest place name still in use is:
Taumatawhakatangihangaoauauotameteaturipukakapikimaungahoronuk-
upokaiwhenuakitanatahu--a New Zealand hill.
Los Angeles's full name is: "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Poriuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "LA.".
Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 will live to be 116 or older.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
According to Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, it is possible to go slower than light and faster than light, but it is impossible to go the speed of light. Also, there is a particle called tackyon which is supposed to go faster than light. This means if you fire a tackyon beam, it travels before you fire it.
When you tie a noose, the rope is wrapped twelve times around because it's the same length as a persons head.
Hummingbirds are the only animal that can fly backwards.
A cat's jaw cannot move sideways...
Video:
New handy tips from Viz.....
DON'T waste money on expensive Ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune
and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song
you like and hum that instead.
CINEMA goers: Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a
p*ss before the film starts.
RAPPERS: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually
speaking clearly in the first place.
DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your
identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with
your old bank statements.
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red
wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the
stains.
SOLDIERS: Invest in a digital camera to avoid a court appearance after a
trip to Truprint.
MURDERERS: Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to
yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.
BURGLARS: When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking
out at 90degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their
dogs on you.
EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs
into the bin.
MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the
volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your
wife from having to do it.
GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by
Royal Mail.
BANGING: two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very
small horse is approaching.
BLIND PEOPLE: Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by not
wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.
ALCOHOL: makes an ideal substitute for happiness.
DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and
wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on
their way.
PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving
everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the
morning, simply move it all back again.
CAR thieves: Don't be discouraged when nothing is in view. All the
valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
DEPRESSED people: Instead of attempting suicide as a 'cry for help',simply
shout 'Help!' thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.
MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving.
Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you
are listening to the sea.
JEREMY Beadle: When selling DVDs on your TV advert, hold the disks in your
bigger hand so that they do not appear to be the size of laser disks.
SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.
SINGLE men: Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside
Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally
glancing inside.
BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into
boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3
miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.
ALCOHOLICS: don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub,
where a large selection is available at retail prices.
McDONALD'S: Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in
with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.
And the absolute best for last...
WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a sh*t
anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house afterwards.
3.45/5
940
3
10/19/2005- by rc
Video:
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me ? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
