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Video:Coming Soon: SpikedHumor's New Video System

Coming Soon: SpikedHumor's New Video System

Since we've had some technical issues with video content on SpikedHumor, we're devising a plan to have all video content that is uploaded converted into streaming flash video.

This will cut our bandwidth in half while also making downloads faster, more efficient and more user friendly.

Once this system is in place, there should be no more video content that cuts out, pauses, etc., since all video will convert into one standard video format upon uploading.

This requires us to buy a separate server, specifically for video encoding 'on-the-fly'. The nice thing about this system is that it will also feature error checking to omit bad videos.

We're looking forward to featuring this nice, clean system and we apologize for any video playback problems.

, SpikedHumor Staff

 

Video:Updates Have Taken Effect

Updates Have Taken Effect

The updates mentioned here have taken effect. There should be no more problems with avatars or file extensions not being accepted when trying to upload content.

Stay tuned, as there are more updates to come!

, SpikedHumor Staff

 

Video:SpikedHumor Technical Update

SpikedHumor Technical Update

Some SpikedHumor members are still having trouble with their avatars. Members who have an X or broken link image for an avatar should be able to get their avatar working. It seems that only new members have trouble with avatars. This problem should be fixed sometime this week.

People have also raised concern about SpikedHumor not accepting certain popular file types when trying to upload content. This is due to the extensions being case-sensitive. So until we get this issue fixed, make sure your file type extensions (i.e. wmv) are lowercase.

We will be rehauling the majority of the SpikedHumor web site over the coming months.
Thanks for your patience while we do this, once again :) Lots of goodies to come.

, SpikedHumor Staff

 

Video:Pregnant Skydiver Survives 50mph Slam Into Parking Lot

Pregnant Skydiver Survives 50mph Slam Into Parking Lot

Shayna Richardson was making her first solo skydiving jump when she had trouble with her parachutes and, while falling at about 50 mph, hit face first in a parking lot.

Although badly hurt, she survived -- and doctors treating her injuries discovered she was pregnant. Four surgeries and two months later, Richardson said she and the fetus are doing fine.

"Just this last week we went and saw the doctor and we've got arms, we've got legs. We've got a full face. The baby is moving around just fine. The heart rate looks good. So not only did God save me but he spared this baby," she said.

Richardson, 21, of Joplin, Mo., was skydiving in Siloam Springs on Oct. 9 when her main parachute failed.

"I heard a snap and I started spinning and I didn't know why. I didn't know what to do to fix it. I didn't know how to make it stop," Richardson told Fort Smith, Ark., television station KFSM.

She cut away her primary chute so her reserve could deploy, but it didn't open all the way. She spun out of control, heading straight for the asphalt below.

"At the end I said, 'I'm going to die. I'm going to hit the ground. I'm going to die,'" she said. "I don't remember it. I don't remember hitting the ground. I don't remember the impact or anything that came with it."

Rescuers got her to a hospital in Fayetteville, where Richardson underwent surgery. She broke her pelvis in two places, broke her leg, lost six teeth and now has 15 steel plates.

"I went into the first surgery where they cut me from ear to ear and they cut my face down and they took out all the fractured egg-shelled bones and put in steel plates," Richardson said.

During treatment, doctors found that Richardson was pregnant, which was a surprise to her. She said she would not have jumped had she known.

"To hit the ground belly first -- that's dangerous. I mean at any stage of pregnancy that's dangerous. That's not something you want to do let alone at 50 miles per hour," Richardson said.

Her fall was videotaped and Richardson said she was able to watch it, without qualms.

"I wanted to watch it," said Richardson. "And the whole reason I'm comfortable with watching it because I know how it ends."

Richardson said her due date is June 25. She plans to make her next parachute jump in August.

South Florida

 

Video:Billionaires Compete For Largest Submarine

Billionaires Compete For Largest Submarine

Billionaires are going to ever greater depths to outdo each other: they are competing to have the biggest private submarines that money can buy.

Paul Allen, co-founder with Bill Gates of the Microsoft empire, recently bought a bright yellow submarine capable of taking 10 passengers. The craft is said to be docked, James Bond-style, inside Octopus, his 126m vessel, claimed to be the world's largest yacht.

Last week, Paul Moorhouse, a Plymouth-based submarine designer, said that two oil billionaires in the Emirates now owned private submarines offering pressurised overnight accommodation, and that an additional "seven or eight extremely wealthy people" have invested in more modest two-man subs.

"You have to be weird to want one," he declared. "They cost at least pound stg. 10million ($23.3million) to build and pound stg. 100,000 a year to maintain."

Roman Abramovich, the Russian billionaire who owns Chelsea football club and four super-yachts, has a two-man "runaround" sub, which sits alongside his helicopter on the 103m Pelorus.

A source last week implied that he may want to trade up: "If other people have got bigger ones, he will have to be told that he's behind the times."

The ocean depths are seen as an exclusive playground for the super-rich and one entrepreneur is preparing to build the world's first submarine cruise ship.

The vessel, to be named Poseidon, is aimed at the booming market for luxurious but extreme adventure and will be the first commercial vessel to provide cruises to the bottom of the sea.

Costing over $230million, the 87m ship is designed to perform as well on the surface as it does submerged. The intention is to enable tourists to hop from port to port but also to spend several days at depths of 300m, observing wonders such as the Great Barrier Reef and undersea formations off the Caribbean and Hawaiian islands.

It is the brainchild of Bruce Jones, a submarine entrepreneur from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, who believes that deep ocean tourism rivals space as a new frontier for holidaymakers. Three multi-millionaires have already paid fortunes to fly on space missions.

Jones, a member of the American Bureau of Shipping's committee on underwater systems, has designed the Poseidon and is raising finance for its construction. He believes it can be in service within three years.

The design envisages accommodation for 70 passengers in luxury staterooms costing upwards of pound stg. 1300 a day. Part surface ship, part submarine, the Poseidon will have large acrylic windows capable of withstanding the pressures of extreme depths while giving floodlit views of the undersea world. The mother vessel will also carry a smaller submersible for close-up exploration of reefs and wrecks.

Jones is confident that there will be almost unlimited demand. "The idea of this kind of experience captures people's imagination," he said. "There are millions of intelligent high-end tourists in the world who are fascinated by the idea of underwater travel. We will be able to accommodate only a few thousand a year and our research shows massive interest."

In the Bahamas, he is already developing the Poseidon underwater resort, the first submerged hotel. Planning and finance are in place and Jones hopes the 22-room facility will open next December.

Since status symbols such as mega-yachts have become more common, billionaires are vying to find novel and extreme ways to outdo each other. So as well as submarines, the super-rich are seeking unusual planes. Larry Ellison, boss of the computer company Oracle, has his own jet fighter.

The most distinctive display has come from Gates, who is Ellison's arch rival. After giving billions to charity, he can probably claim the title of the world's greatest philanthropist.

The Australian

 

Video:Comedian Richard Pryor dies at 65

Comedian Richard Pryor dies at 65

Richard Pryor, the caustic yet perceptive actor-comedian who lived dangerously close to the edge both on stage and off, has died, his ex-wife said Saturday. He was 65.

Pryor died of a heart attack at his home in the San Fernando Valley sometime late Friday or early Saturday, Flyn Pryor said. He had been ill for years with multiple sclerosis, a degenerative disease of the nervous system.

The comedian was regarded early in his career as one of the most foul-mouthed comics in the business, but he gained a wide following for his expletive-filled but universal and frequently personal insights into modern life and race relations.

His audacious style influenced an array of stand-up artists, including Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall and Damon Wayans, as well as Robin Williams, David Letterman and others.

A series of hit comedies in the '70s and '80s, as well as filmed versions of his concert performances, helped make him Pryor one of the highest paid stars in Hollywood. He was one of the first black performers to have enough leverage to cut his own Hollywood deals. In 1983, he signed a $40 million, five-year contract with Columbia Pictures.

His films included "Stir Crazy," "Silver Streak," "Which Way Is Up?" and "Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip."

One of the pioneers of black comedy passed away yesterday afternoon. Richard you will be missed...

CNN

 

Video:Most Americans Doubt Bush Has Victory Plan

Most Americans Doubt Bush Has Victory Plan

WASHINGTON -- A majority of Americans doubt George W. Bush has a strategy for Iraq that will achieve victory, according to a new poll released after the U.S. President laid out his Iraq policy.

The CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll showed that 55 per cent do not believe the President has a plan that will achieve victory for the United States in Iraq, while 41 per cent think he does.

The survey was conducted by telephone among 606 Americans after Mr. Bush's televised speech at the U.S. Naval Academy early Wednesday, although CNN noted that only 10 per cent had seen it live and two-thirds had not heard or read news coverage about it.

The Globe and Mail

 

Video:SpikedHumor Weekly

SpikedHumor Weekly

This week's Editor's Pick:
Rockfish - Animated Adventure Film

A well-made animated space adventure/film short. The main character and his pet 'animal' are fishing for "rockfish" which leads to action-packed animation.


Be sure to rate the article and post your comments!


Check out this week's picture gallery.


Experience Points System:

If you're still unaware of SpikedHumor's XP System, take a few minutes to get familiar with it!
You could win a ProMedia™ 5.1 personal audio system [Klipsch Audio Technologies] as this month's prize!

You need to be registered with SpikedHumor to use the XP System.
[Register Here]

Click here for the XP FAQ

Check out the XP Leaderboards for rankings of who has the most points.


Coming Soon...

More updates to the XP system.
More updates to the public upload system.
More help resources, FAQ, etc.
User profiles that are viewable by the public.
Much more!


Check Out SpikedHumor's Forums

 

Video:Teen Dies From

Teen Dies From "Peanut Butter Kiss"

A Quebec teenager with a peanut allergy died after kissing her boyfriend who had eaten a peanut butter sandwich hours earlier.

Fifteen-year-old Christina Desforges died Monday after kissing her boyfriend's lips which contained traces of peanut butter residue.

Desforges, who lived 250 km north of Quebec City in Saguenay, went into anaphylactic shock and in spite of being given an adrenalin shot, could not be revived.

Pediatric allergist Karen Sigman says that if peanuts are still on the tongue or the lips, they can still cause a reaction to those at risk. Sigman says teenagers with allergies have to let their friends know.

"If they're going to be dating somebody that they have to tell the people they're close to that they're allergic to make sure the people they're with aren't in contact with those nuts or peanuts," Sigman said.

Parents of children with nut and peanut allergies have the added pressure of constantly watching what their offspring are eating.

Desforges' parents are planning a memorial service Saturday.

CTV

 

Video:SpikedHumor Weekly

SpikedHumor Weekly

This week's Editor's Pick:
Extreme Christmas Lighting

This Christmas light setup is intense!


Be sure to rate the article and post your comments!


Check out this week's picture gallery.


Experience Points System:

If you're still unaware of SpikedHumor's XP System, take a few minutes to get familiar with it!
You could win a ProMedia™ 5.1 personal audio system [Klipsch Audio Technologies] as this month's prize!

You need to be registered with SpikedHumor to use the XP System.
[Register Here]

Click here for the XP FAQ

Check out the XP Leaderboards for rankings of who has the most points.


Click here for information about the slow speeds you may have experienced lately at SpikedHumor.


Coming Soon...

More updates to the XP system.
More updates to the public upload system.
More help resources, FAQ, etc.
User profiles that are viewable by the public.


Check Out SpikedHumor's Forums

 

The Spikedhumor Drawing!Drawing Coming Soon!
Prize
Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009

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