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Video:New Public Upload System

New Public Upload System

We just launched our new public upload system. Now when users upload original or non-original content it will be placed in our review uploads section.

With this new system you can help control what content will make it to the front page, what content will be archived and what content will be deleted all together.

Once an article reaches 50 votes it will either be promoted to the front page, placed in our archive, or deleted from the site.

Front Page Promotion: In order for an article to make it to the front page the overall rating must be greater than or equal to +-3.0 after it has received the required number of votes. Note: the +- is to prevent flooding on the front page.

Archived: In order for an article to be archived the overall rating must be greater than or equal to 2 after it has received the required number of votes.

Removed: In order for an article to be removed entirely from the site the overall rating must be less than 2 after it has received the required number of votes. So if you think an article totally sucks, don't be shy, give it a low ranking and its chances of making it on the site will be decreased.

If you have any suggestions or find any bugs with this system please let us know at feedback@spikedhumor.com thanks.

 

Video:SpikedHumor To Get Upgrades

SpikedHumor To Get Upgrades

We apologize for any slow speeds that you may have experienced lately with SpikedHumor. As a result, we're in the process of doing some hefty upgrades (i.e. new web server, new file server).

The new web server that we're expecting to be in operation either today or Monday will eliminate the slow loading of the site and the 'server too busy' message that we all hate.

The new file server that we're expecting to be in operation either this week or next will eliminate slow downloads of content - in other words, no more slow video streaming.

Everything will be running snappy and smooth soon enough. Thanks for your patience.

 

Video:Britney And Kev Sex Tape Shock

Britney And Kev Sex Tape Shock

The Britney Spears and Kevin Federline divorce has turned nasty after it was revealed he is touting a Paris Hilton-style video of the couple romping.

According to our sister paper The News Of The World, dumped husband K-Fed has already been offered £26million for the FOUR hour tape, shot in the early stages of the couple's relationship.

Britney fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image, unless she caves in to his demands for a £16million payoff and custody of their children Sean Preston, one, and Jayden James, eight weeks.

A friend of K-Fed's told the paper: "At the time (the video was made) the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn't keep their hands off each other.

"They did nothing all day but have sex - and play the odd game of chess.

"They were insatiable."

Britney slapped divorce papers on Federline after she caught him in a bedroom with another woman.

Source

 

Video:Spiked Site Files Down - ETA: 3 - 4 Hours

Spiked Site Files Down - ETA: 3 - 4 Hours

As you probably noticed, the majority of content on Spiked is not functioning.

On the positive side, this is because we're moving to a new data center! ETA is 3-4 hours.
This will improve stability for the upcoming Spiked 2.0.

We sincerely apologize for any inconveniences, but we're confident that you'll be pleased with our upgrade.

In the meantime, check out the Forums.

, Spiked Staff

 

Video:Two-year-old With IQ Of 152

Two-year-old With IQ Of 152

Her parents knew Georgia Brown was bright. After all, she could count to ten, recognized her colours and was even starting to dabble with French.

But it was only when their bubbly little two-year-old took an IQ test that her towering intellect was confirmed.

Georgia has become the youngest female member of Mensa after scoring a genius-rated IQ of 152.

This puts her in the same intellectual league, proportionate to her age, as physicist Stephen Hawking.

According to an expert in gifted children, Georgia is the brightest two-year-old she has ever met.

Parents Martin and Lucy Brown have always regarded their youngest child as a remarkably quick learner.

She was crawling at five months and walking at nine months.

By 14 months, she was getting herself dressed.

"She spoke really early - by 18 months she was having proper conversations," Mrs Brown said.

"She would say, 'Hello I'm Georgia, I'm one'. She was also putting her shoes on and putting them on the right feet."

Georgia was so perceptive that after one outing to the theatre to see Beauty and the Beast she solemnly informed her parents: "I didn't like Gaston (the villain). He was mean and arrogant."

Struck by the similarities between her daughter and Matilda, the title character in the Roald Dahl story about a gifted child, Mrs Brown began to worry about Georgia's future education.

She contacted Professor Joan Freeman, a specialist educational psychologist, for advice.

Professor Freeman applied the standard Stamford-Binet Intelligence Scale test to Georgia and was amazed to find this was too limited to map her creative abilities.

She said: "Even at two she was very thoughtful.

"What Georgia did on some questions was of a higher quality than that which was necessary to gain a mark.

"She swept right through it like a hot knife through butter. "I would ask her things like 'give me two blocks or give me ten blocks' and she would manage it as easily as you would expect a five-year-old.

"In one test I asked her to draw a circle and she did it so perfectly.

"Most adults would struggle to do that. Her circle was near to being perfect.

"It shows she can physically hold a pen well but also that she understands the concept of a circle."

Georgia, who is at nursery school, was also able to tell the difference between pink and purple - a skill which most children learn at primary school age.

Professor Freeman said: "I said to her, 'What a pretty pink skirt, and you have tights and shoes to match'.

"She said, 'They're not pink, they're purple'. Most children go to school aged five and start to learn colours, let alone knowing the difference between pink and purple.

"I have to keep reminding myself that she is only two."

To the amazement of the family, who live in Aldershot, Hampshire, Georgia scored 152 points on the IQ test, putting her in the top 0.2 per cent of the population. Those with an average IQ would score around 100 points in the same test.

Georgia was then invited to join Mensa, the High IQ society whose members have IQs in the top 2 per cent of the population. Georgia is one of only 30 Mensa members under the age of ten.

Mrs Brown, chief executive of a charity, believes Georgia has benefited by growing up as the youngest of five children.

She has been absorbing information from her older brothers and sisters and father, a self-employed carpenter, while not receiving any special treatment.

"There is always someone around to offer her something," her mother said.

"But she still has temper tantrums, like you wouldn't believe, throwing herself on the floor.

"She doesn't think she's better and cleverer than everyone else. She is a very kind and loving child."

Georgia, who has a "wicked sense of humour" is as busy as any toddler, enjoying a schedule of ballet classes, listening to stories, dancing, singing, sport and even watching the TV.

Source

 

Video:Important Announcement - Adult Content

Important Announcement - Adult Content

Due to popular demand, SpikedHumor has ceased providing adult content. Adult content has been moved to a new adult-only website called videos.spankwire.com and any adult content submitted to SpikedHumor from here on out will be forwarded there as well. Read on for more information.

From now on, content on SpikedHumor which consists of sexual content, nudity, or anything of the like, will be migrated to a new web site called SpankWire. SpankWire has an identical system to SpikedHumor in order to deliver content in a way that’s familiar to SpikedHumor users, but for adult content only.

This move should help ensure that SpikedHumor remains an entertainment web site not overrun by porn.

In conclusion, if you like adult entertainment, bookmark SpankWire Videos and let that be your source for that sort of thing. On the other hand, if you don't like adult entertainment, you won't see it on Spiked anymore.

In our ongoing pursuit to make our viewers happy, we're confident that this is a move in the right direction. The Spiked Staff encourage any constructive feedback you may have to offer.

 

Video:Chinese County Massacres 50,000 Dogs

Chinese County Massacres 50,000 Dogs

A county in southwestern China has killed as many as 50,000 dogs in a government campaign ordered after three people died from rabies, official media reported Tuesday.

The five-day massacre in Yunnan province's Mouding county spared only military guard dogs and police canine units, the Shanghai Daily reported, citing local media.

Dogs being walked were taken from their owners and beaten on the spot, the newspaper said. Other killing teams entered villages at night, creating noise to get dogs barking, then honing in and beating them to death.

Owners were offered 63 cents per animal to kill their dogs before the teams were sent in, the report said.

The massacre was widely discussed on the Internet, with both legal scholars and animal rights activists criticizing it as crude and cold-blooded. The World Health Organization said more emphasis needed to be placed on prevention.

"Wiping out the dogs shows these government officials didn't do their jobs right in protecting people from rabies in the first place," Legal Daily, a newspaper run by the central government's Politics and Law Committee, said in an editorial in its online edition.

Dr. Francette Dusan, a WHO expert on diseases passed from animals to people, said effective rabies control required coordinated efforts between human and animal health agencies and authorities.

"This has not been pursued adequately to date in China with most control efforts consisting of purely reactive dog culls," Dusan said.

The Shanghai Daily said 360 of Mouding county's 200,000 residents suffered dog bites this year. The three rabies victims included a 4-year-old girl, the report said.

"With the aim to keep this horrible disease from people, we decided to kill the dogs," Li Haibo, a spokesman for the county government was quoted as saying by the official Xinhua News Agency.

Calls to county government offices rang unanswered on Tuesday.

China has seen a major rise in the number of rabies cases in recent years, with 2,651 reported deaths from the disease in 2004, the last year for which data was available, according to the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

Experts have tied the rise in part to an increase in dog ownership, particularly in rural areas where about 70 percent of households keep dogs. Only about 3 percent of Chinese dogs are vaccinated against rabies, according to the center. Access to appropriate treatment is highly limited, especially in the countryside.

Source

 

Video:Toddler With Super-strength, Super-speed

Toddler With Super-strength, Super-speed

"Jaw-dropping strength. Breath-taking speed. Phenomenal agility. Olympian feats."

With origins and abilities worthy of fitting a comic book hero, these are words that reporters and doctors have used to describe Liam Hoekstra. The thing is this: Liam is only a toddler.

Born only 19 months ago, Liam came into the world with many birth defects. He had a small hole in his heart, enlarged kidneys, frequently vomited and was born four weeks premature. Medical records indicated that his biological father was "unusually strong".

Due to conditional circumstance, Liam was adopted at birth by the Hoekstra family.

Little did the family know that they were adopting a child with a very rare and special genetic condition.

The Hoekstra's quickly began to notice Liam being able to do things out of the ordinary. Two days after birth, he was able to fully stand-up and support his own weight, given someone held his hands. Months later he began developing ripped abs, naturally doing pull-ups, inverted sit-ups, Olympic styled iron cross, thigh muscles compared to that of Lance Armstrong and even punching holes into walls during tantrums (accidentally gave his Mom a black eye once as well).

What really amazed his family was what happened whenever he fell.

"When he fell backward, he would land on his butt, but he never hit his head on the ground," Dana Hoekstra said. "His stomach would tense up and he would catch himself before his head hit the ground. You could see his stomach muscles. He had a little six-pack," said his adoptive mother, Dana, in an interview.

After further investigation into Liam's ability, doctor's found he was genetically unique as he has a condition called myostatin related muscle hypertrophy.

In Liam's case, his body's muscles reject myostatin, allowing them to undergo quick growth and repair.

What does that entail, exactly?

Liam can expect to have up to 50% more muscle mass than average, ridiculous levels of strength, fast metabolism, and hardly any body fat. His mother mentions, "Liam has never had any body fat...the only fat he has is in his cheeks."

Myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy is a condition that is still somewhat new to scientific scrutiny, and until 2000, was not adequately documented as occurring in humans. Before this time, the best known example was that from ridiculously buff Belgian Blue cattle, a picture of which is below.



While this condition is extremely rare in humans, to the point where doctors cannot predict with significant confidence how many people would have it worldwide, there were some concerns about Liam's lack of fat, which is needed for proper neurological development. Fortunately, like the other mentioned conditions that were present at his birth (all of which healed and subsided), Liam amazingly has shown little to no problems.

The biggest concern right now for the Hoekstra family is keeping Liam fed and at ideal weights. With his enlarged muscles and super-fast metabolism, odds are he can probably down his fair share of giant steaks.

Make sure to check out the source link below for more on this story, it is pretty neat.

Source:
CTV

 

Video:Florida Man Sentenced For Having Sex Slave

Florida Man Sentenced For Having Sex Slave

A North Fort Myers man has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for his role in harboring a 13-year-old girl kept as a sex slave and housekeeper.

U.S. District Judge Virginia M. Hernandez Covington gave Fernando Pascual, 22, what she considered a lenient sentence Tuesday. As part of a plea deal, Pascual pleaded guilty in March to charges of sex trafficking and harboring an illegal immigrant for commercial gain. His sentence of 10 years was in exchange for the victim not having to testify because she was traumatized, Covington said.

"These are truly horrible crimes you have committed and they will not be tolerated in the United States," Covington said.

Pascual, his sister, Matilde Pascual Andres, and Andres' husband, Pascual Miguel Sebastian, were charged in May 2005 with harboring a young girl in a Cape Coral home. Prosecutors said the girl was bought in Guatemala and brought to Cape Coral, where she was raped, beaten and forced to work.

Matilde Pascual Andres also was sentenced Tuesday to 22 months in prison for her role. Pascual Miguel Sebastian was sentenced to 16 months in May on a similar charge.

"This is finally a chance ... to move forward," said Chief Assistant U.S. Attorney Doug Molloy.

SOURCE

 

Video:SpikedHumor Gets Upgraded

SpikedHumor Gets Upgraded

Slow speeds are a thing of the past here at SpikedHumor.

We finally got both our web server and file server upgraded. There were some delays due to the wrong hardware being shipped to us, but speed issues should now be completely taken care of.

Thanks for your patience and support.

, SpikedHumor Staff

 

The Spikedhumor Drawing!Drawing Coming Soon!
Prize
Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009

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