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Video:Important: SpikedHumor's Moderation

Important: SpikedHumor's Moderation

Due to the increasing amount of spam in particular on SpikedHumor, we will no longer be giving out e-mail warnings for such an issue. Spamming will result in instant account deletions and bans.

Spam is considered one of the following:

- Multiple posting (of comments or articles)
- Extremely long, repetitive comments aimed at messing with the article's layout
- Advertising

In other news, due to a lot of e-mail feedback regarding the order of SpikedHumor, flaming other users, bashing nations, and lack of basic civility will result in ONE e-mail warning if you're lucky - after that, you'll be banned.

SpikedHumor supports free speech, but it also supports and expects a certain amount of couth.

We look forward to preventing the garbage that has recently crept its way into SpikedHumor.


, SpikedHumor Staff

 

Video:Spiked Site Files Down - ETA: 3 - 4 Hours

Spiked Site Files Down - ETA: 3 - 4 Hours

As you probably noticed, the majority of content on Spiked is not functioning.

On the positive side, this is because we're moving to a new data center! ETA is 3-4 hours.
This will improve stability for the upcoming Spiked 2.0.

We sincerely apologize for any inconveniences, but we're confident that you'll be pleased with our upgrade.

In the meantime, check out the Forums.

, Spiked Staff

 

Video:9 Reasons Islam Sucks

9 Reasons Islam Sucks

1. It tries to keep boobies hidden away
I need to see boobies. Without them life pretty much isn’t worth living. If Islam is your religion of choice, you might as well toss in the towel son, the boob train doesn’t stop at your station. Personally, I would not join any religion that can’t promise me many nude women in the very near future.

2. No bacon?
Bacon is the greatest stuff in the world. No food in this universe matches its immense flavor. I have said this before and I will stand by it to my death: never trust a man who doesn’t love bacon. It is the essence all chi derives energy from. Without it, the earth would stop spinning and careen into the sun. We would all die and it would suck.

3. Praying three times a day is annoying
I don’t know about you, but I don’t like having to pray even once ever, forget about three times a day. Most of us don’t have that kind of time. And what happens if you screw up and pray in the wrong direction? (Allah must have a condo in the east) Does the village get to stone you?

4. There was only one Mohammed, and his name was Ali…
I will recognize the existence of no other! If this guy they talk about didn’t knock out George Foreman in the Rumble in the Jungle, then I don’t want to hear how great he was.

5. It doesn’t teach you Kung Fu
If you feel the need to join a religion, make sure it is one that will teach you Kung Fu. Any religion that shows you how to kick ass to protect your inner peace is a good and sensible one. To be clear, strapping a bomb to yourself and blowing people up is not Kung Fu.

6. It doesn’t recognize the greatness of Captain America
This is a problem with a lot of religions out there; they hate freedom. Steve Rogers stood for everything that was good about the human character. (Stuff like killing Nazis, drinking milk, and killing more Nazis) He beat down the Hulk on many occasions. There is no debate here: he is a god if there ever was one.

7. Muslims do not make a good dark ale
They don’t even make a decent cheap Pilsner. When I see stuff like that from people it makes me wonder what the hell they are doing with their time. Not making beer… that’s for sure. I, for one, am just not sure I could live in a society that does not spend a decent allotment of time creating quality beer. It’s just not how things should work.

8. A Muslim guy Jewed me once…
There are so many things wrong with that statement. I have indeed taken things too far this time. No amount of explaining can atone for that sentence. It describes itself, and some may believe the author as well. Before you even think it, I will admit to being a dirty racist bastard for even thinking number 8 up and go about my business with number 9…

9. It lies about the virgin thing…
And even if it doesn’t, what the fuck are you going to do with 72 virgins anyways? I would rather have 72 whores who know how to ride the cock. Besides, you would be dead by that time, so it wouldn’t matter anyways. If they could offer such a deal without the death part, they would sell a lot more tickets to Mecca.


Note to Muslim people: I don’t hate your religion any more or less than I hate all the religions in this world. Except, of course, Buddhism and the good folks who practice Voodoo and Santeria.

 

Video:SpikedHumor Wants Your Feedback

SpikedHumor Wants Your Feedback

We figured it was time to request your much-appreciated feedback.

What do you think makes SpikedHumor great and what makes it suck?

If you would like to participate, go to the comments section below and post your top 5 favorite things about SpikedHumor.com and also post your top 5 least favorite things.

We will take all feedback into consideration over the next week and plan for some new development thereafter.

The more feedback we get, the better off SpikedHumor.com will be, so don't be shy. Speak your mind.

On that note, let's keep this constructive, on topic, and civil... please and thank you.

, Spiked Staff

 

Video:SpikedHumor User Demographics 8.19.06

SpikedHumor User Demographics 8.19.06

Here are some quick stats on the who's and where's of the 82,000+ users of SpikedHumor.

Nationality:
The US alone attains 44.9979% of the SpikedHumor member population with an astounding 37337 users while the UK is straggling behind at 6260 with Canada trailing by 320 users. Interesting enough we have 556 users from Afghanistan and 25 from Iraq, and 1 lone user from a country known as Nauru. Any requests for countries can be put in the comments.

Occupation:
Who wouldn't guess that the top occupation for the users of Spiked would be College students? It makes the top with 11602 users with Other behind it at 5017. We have very few real professions within the SpikedHumor community, with the first one peaking at 2231, but who considers Art a profession. Kidding!

Age:
Take a guess now to as which age is the most common. Ok, what is the winning age group? 21-25 is the favored age group with 21625 users, but don't feel bad if you picked 18-20 because they follow close behind with 19833. Also in this group we will find that we have a couple seniors. 680 of our dedicated Spiked users are 60+.

Gender:
Where is the competition in this one? Males have almost 50,000 users more than females, however, 20% of SpikedHumor's population decided not to answer this question!

Until next time we have: 82946 users at Spiked and it gets larger by every hour!

 

Video:Spiked 2.0 Beta Is Here!

Spiked 2.0 Beta Is Here!

We know you've been itching to see the SpikedHumor 2.0 beta, so here it is!

Our extra-talented coders and graphic designer had a go at creating a modern Spiked for you and I and the results are sick... and by sick I mean Godlike. An entertainment site cannot get anymore kick-ass than Spiked 2.0!





New Features:

  • Tagging - Allows us to better organize and find the content you're looking for
  • Recommended videos - We will now be able to recommend videos based on tags
  • Improved searching utilizing tagging and more advanded search options
  • Favorites - You can now add content you like to a favorites section for easy access and sharing
  • Featured content section - This new homepage section will show off our top content in a cool way
  • Improved comment ratings - We're taking the comment ratings to the next step with a more visual approach
  • New site design - Many of our features and pages are being redesigned for a more enjoyable experience
  • Member profiles - Members will be able to view other members' profiles


We're hoping for a full release next week!

beta.spikedhumor.com

 

Video:9 Things I Hate About America

9 Things I Hate About America

1. Anti-marijuana laws
People should be allowed to smoke weed in peace. It’s not dangerous. Why is it even illegal? Good question; one that doesn’t have a good answer. Bush used cocaine, why can’t we smoke a little pot? Hypocrisy maybe… or could it be someone still dabbles with the white girl a bit...

2. Texas
Most of the bad image America gets from the rest of the world comes from Texas. That’s where Bush surfaced from. Troy Aikman too. I had a friend once that came from Texas. His name was John and he was the biggest jackass I have ever known in my life. He was so racist he even hated white people. When I contemplate the fact that guys like that have figured out ways to travel abroad, I no longer wonder why the world hates us. We all know someone like that.

3. Fat chicks
I’m sick of these fat women thinking they are somehow hot. Statistically speaking they are the largest group of women in the world. Being a part of the group with the fattest of asses is nothing to be proud of. These women need to stop ruining our landscape with their fatness and start exercising for the good of America. Show some team spirit.

4. Religious Republicans
All these folks should be euthanized for the good of society. Nice, quickly, and quietly; no need for errant swordplay. We can have a picnic for them; a parade, a nice big send off… it will be good. There are a lot of them lurking so it will get rid of a full half of our government. Then all we need to do is figure out how to get rid of the other half. Maybe an old-fashioned royal rumble…

5. Baseball
I have been a Dodger fan since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I have still never been able to sit through an entire baseball game without falling asleep. Sometimes I wonder if people are watching the game or just looking at the nice grass in the outfield. It is a sad day for a sport when the craftsmanship of the lawn maintenance crew is more exciting than America’s so-called “pastime”.

6. Political correctness
It seems more words and phrases become scorned each day. Everyone is so god damn sensitive these days. You’re all too paranoid. Religions are the worst about this. Maybe I’m just not paying enough attention, but I can’t tell the difference between a Jew, Xtian, or Muslim just by looking at them. I wait until they start telling me about their religions before I fart really loud and walk away.

7. Draconian smoking laws
I don’t know about the rest of you, but where I live in Colorado smoking is not allowed in public places. This includes bars. I can see not allowing smoking at the preschool or emergency room, but a building where folks congregate to get shitfaced? If one is worried about second hand smoke, why are they not worried about first hand liver damage? Only in America would these people not be sent to France.

8. Our travel options
Americans can’t go anywhere cool nowadays. Want to see the pyramids? Better watch out for terrorists who will kidnap you for your head. Don’t even think about visiting a Muslim country unless you want to be the next guy named Nick who gets his head chopped off for the entire internet to see. Thanks, Bush administration.

9. Our leadership
One can never be quite sure who is behind all the bad decisions. Maybe it is Bush and his cronies. Maybe it’s Mister X or Doctor Evil. Maybe it’s some guy we have never even heard of. Whoever it is, only one thing is for sure: they broke everything. If only the good folks at Elmer’s made glue that could fix a busted government.

One last thing : If this top nine list made you so angry you feel the need to insult the author… good.

 

Video:Legalized Marijuana?

Legalized Marijuana?

Marijuana, the gateway drug that has welcomed so many unsuspecting souls into a drug induced hell, is once again up for vote on whether or not it should be legalized. It has gone up for vote in many cities and many states, but as of yet not on a national level. Sadly some cities, and yes, even some states have allowed this drug to be legalized. Who is voting this stuff in?

It cannot be a bunch of degenerate slackers, who are more preoccupied with playing hacky sack and eating mayonnaise than voting. So I suspect it is only the liberal Left that is seeking to undermine our countries ethics and values. What is next for our country? Perhaps we can legalize bestiality in public places?

Pot has the following side effects: trouble remembering things, heart palpitations. sleepiness, anxiety, bad decisions, obesity, paranoia (feeling that people are “out to get you”), altered time perception, and that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Marijuana also has been shown to be a key factor in why teens choose to be gay. Toking homosexuals are 9 times more likely to contract the HIV virus than non-"reefer" smoking heterosexuals. It also tends to lead to smoking cigarettes, which can cause lung cancer. Studies show that when rats exposed to radiation were given "dank", they STILL got cancer and died shortly after. So that blows away the myth that pot has any medicinal value for cancer sufferers. Nine out of ten subjects that smoked "grass" on a regular basis (approximately one “joint” a month), became impotent and developed Erectile Dysfunction.

One side effect of marijuana use that I do like is jail time for all who use it. And that is why we must continue to strike down any attempt by the liberal left to push their drugs and hippy agenda upon us, by continually voting NO to any idea of allowing this substance to be made available to our children. It is an illegal drug that destroys young people’s minds, their relationships with friends and family, and in some cases has led to suicide of first time users.

We must stand strong as a nation to protect our most valuable asset, our children. Vote to keep illegal drugs illegal.

 

Video:Concerning the Worst Ad Ever...

Concerning the Worst Ad Ever...

Take heart, dear companions. Your dozens of e-mails and angry comments were heard on the eve of (insert winter holiday of choice). At the SpikedHumor office, we are tirelessly working on the tiniest of bugs, activating the newest users' account, and making the overall SpikedHumor experience more enjoyable.

We are currently in the process of recon on the ad in question. At our secret underground lab, we have never seen the ad because of our particular location in the world. Apparently, it only rears its distracting evil if you are located around certain countries (so far we have reports of it from New Zealand and Poland). Therefore, your feedback is/was necessary. A few of the affected users have been notified and are helping us to sort this out immediately.

However, please be courteous as we don't want our current IT/Office monkey to end up like our last (see picture).

 

Video:WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FRONT PAGE

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FRONT PAGE

Before you start flooding our e-mails with complaints, here us out:

1.) The most obvious change is the new grid-view system. This allows you to see more of the front-page videos with less scrolling. It also looks very nifty.

2.) We also changed the SpikedBlog to just headlines, so that old news will be less instrusive to your viewing experience.

3.) Another big change is the new "Spiked Classics" box on the right hand side. This will randomly choose a year and month that Spikedhumor has been online and display some of the most popular media of that time. It's nice to walk down internet memory lane once in a while.

4.) Our last major change is the location of the profile info tabs and the search bar. This makes navigation simpler and easier to locate without having to pick up your mouse.

We hope you like the new changes, we're always trying to keep our site fresh without the regular boring website format. Let us know what you think, feedback is always appreciated.

P.S. In other news, if you had noticed the site going down once or twice during the day this past week, we apologize. We were busy adding new server peripherals that will make managment easier.

 

The Spikedhumor Drawing!Drawing Coming Soon!
Prize
Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009

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