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Video:
the famous and mesmerizing scene from paul thomas anderson's 'magnolia', where the characters all begin to sing aimee mann's 'wise up'.
the legendary morecambe and wise perform their breakfast dance to the stripper tune.
superb sketch from morecambe and wise where they compete on the old mastermind show.
classic morecambe and wise performance of the gene kelly routine singing in the rain.
another sketch from morecambe and wise where eric has taken up bee keeping.
not only were the beatles one of the greatest bands ever, they were also very funny. this is an old clip from 1963 and from british tv. (morecambe & wise were one of britains`s funniest and most popular double acts.)
a wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. he spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. then a new school year began. the very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. the crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. the next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. stopping them, he said, "you kids are a lot of fun. i like to see you express your exuberance like that. in fact, i used to do the same thing when i was your age. will you do me a favor? i'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." the kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans. after a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "this recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "from now on, i'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans." the noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. a few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. "look," he said, "i haven't received my social security check yet, so i'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. will that be okay?" "a freakin' quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "if you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! no way, dude. we quit!" and the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.
"see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil."
what if?
a woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. she spend $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. on her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. before leaving, she says to the clerk, "i hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think i am?" "about 32," is the reply. "nope! i'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. a little while later she goes into mcdonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. the girl replies, "i'd guess about 29." the woman replies with a big smile, "nope, i'm 50." now she's feeling really good about herself. she stops in a drug store on her way down the street. she goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. the clerk responds, "oh, i'd say 30." again she proudly responds, "i'm 50, but thank you!" while waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. he replies, "lady, i'm 78 and my eyesight is going. although, when i was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. it sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. then, and only then can i tell you exactly how old you are." they wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. she finally blurts out, "what the hell, go ahead." he slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. he bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. he pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. after a couple of minutes of this, she says, "okay, okay...how old am i?" he completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "madam, you are 50." stunned and amazed, the woman says, "that was incredible, how could you tell?" the old man says, "promise you won't get mad?" "i promise i won't." she says. "i was behind you in line at mcdonald's
looking very hot in this black underwear.
creepy will smith mask would like to address the dangers of japanese pufferfish.
one of the greatest moments in british television comedy.
love importants.
a magazine recently ran a "management quotes" contest. they were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life dysfunctional managers. here are the top ten finalists: 1. "as of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. pictures will be taken next wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (this was the winning quote from fred dales, microsoft corp. in redmond, wa) 2. "what i need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (lykes lines shipping) 3. "e-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. it should be used only for company business." (accounting manager, electric boat company) 4. "this project is so important, we can`t let things that are more important interfere with it." (advertising/marketing manager, united parcel service) 5. "doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (plant manager, delco corporation) 6. "no one will believe you solved this problem in one day! we`ve been working on it for months. now, go act busy for a few weeks and i`ll let you know when it`s time to tell them." (r&d supervisor, minnesota mining and manufacturing/3m corp.) 7. quote from the boss: "teamwork is a lot of people doing what i say." (marketing executive, citrix corporation) 8. my sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for monday. when i told my boss, he said she died on purpose so that i would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. he then asked if we could change her burial to friday. he said, "that would be better for me." (shipping executive, ftd florists) 9. "we know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (switching supervisor, at&t long lines division) 10. one day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project i was working on. i asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. he said, "if i wanted it tomorrow, i would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (hallmark cards executive)
a music video to the show "24".
