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michael jackson visiting an orphanage in japan.
jesus visits the 2007 adult expo.
bono visits the edge from ruddy hell its harry and paul
man show visits snoop dogg
santa decides to pay a visit to all of the naughty people at a strip club.
rowan atkinson playing the part of mr. bean. in this clip, he decides to visit the beach.
supposedly this man mysteriously was able to visit his older self and actually shot a video of it (at the end of the clip). next time my plumbing breaks, expect a video of myself doing this.
during a visit to the asylum, a visitor asked the director, "what is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"
"well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."
1. would you use the spoon? 2. would you use the teacup? 3. would you use the bucket?
"oh, i understand," said the visitor. "a normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."
"noooooo," answered the director. "a normal person would pull the plug."
george bush is visiting the queen of england. he asks her, "your majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? are there any tips you can give me?" "well," says the queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
bush frowns. "but how do i know the people around me are really intelligent?" the queen takes a sip of tea. "oh, that's easy. you just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle." the queen pushes a button on her intercom. "please send the prime minister in here, would you?" tony blair walks into the room. "your majesty..." the queen smiles. "answer me this, please, tony. your mother and father have a child. it is not your brother and it is not your sister.
who is it?" without pausing for a moment, blair answers, "that would be me!" "yes! very good!" says the queen. back at the white house, bush calls in his vice president, dick cheney. "dick, answer this for me. your mother and your father have a child. it's not your brother and it's not your sister. who is it?" "i'm not sure," says the vice president. "let me get back to you on that one."
dick cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes colin powell's shoes in the next stall. dick shouts, "colin! can you answer this for me? your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. who is it?" colin powell yells back, "that's easy. it's me!" dick cheney smiles. "thanks!" cheney goes back to the oval office and asks to speak with bush. "say, i did some research and i have the answer to that riddle. it's colin powell." bush gets up, stomps over to dick cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "no, you idiot! it's tony blair!"
very depressing i must say.
the venezuelan president disparages bush’s genocide.
contemplates selling petroleum in euros instead of dollars.
a guy had a bad case of hemorrhoids, so he decided to go see his doctor.
the doctor says, "it's not too bad, you just need to put these suppositories up your ass. i'll give you the first dose, and you can have your wife give you the second one this evening."
"okay" the man replies "anything to relieve this pain".
he drops his pants, bends over and allows the doctor to do his job. later that evening he tells his wife what the doctor said and asks her help with the second dose.
she tells him to bend over, puts one hand on his shoulder and prepares to insert the suppository.
all of the sudden the guy screams, "oh my god!!"
"what's wrong?" asks his wife.
the man replies, "i just realized - he had both his hands on my shoulders!!"
irish standup ed byrne tells of how he went to a waterpark in dubai.
conan jokes about estonian contributions to nato and bush's speech at the nato summit. i'm an estonian myself, so this cracked me up really badly.
a girl walked up to the information desk in a hospital and asked to see the "upturn". "i think you mean the `intern,` don`t you?" asked the nurse on duty. "yes," said the girl. "i want to have a `contamination.`" "you mean `examination,`" the nurse corrected her. "well i want to go to the `fraternity ward`, anyway." "i`m sure you mean the maternity ward." to which the girl replied, "upturn, intern; contamination, examination; fraternity, maternity.what`s the difference? all i know is i haven`t demonstrated in two months and i think i`m stagnant."
i wonder what the world would be if that really happened?
that is why i like amsterdam :)
jerking off in the "public library."
part 2/part 3/part 4/part 5/part 6 british presenter louis theroux goes to san quentin to meet the inmates and guards. louis has an interview style which some might say comes across as a bit geeky and bemused, but he does get people to reveal themselves in a way that other interviewers wouldnt be able to get from them.
amen to this.
adam rants about conjugal visits.
this man claims to have visited himself in the future while going under his sink trough a black hole.
a scene in which borat visits his family, friends and wives in his home village, back in kazakhstan.
