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Video:
subject: cows
democrat
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you have two cows.
your neighbor has none.
you feel guilty for being successful.
barbra streisand sings for you.
republican
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you have two cows.
your neighbor has none.
so?
socialist
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you have two cows.
the government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
you form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
communist
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you have two cows.
the government seizes both and provides you with milk.
you wait in line for hours to get it.
it is expensive and sour.
capitalism, american style
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you have two cows.
you sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
democracy, american style
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you have two cows.
the government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
bureaucracy, american style
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you have two cows.
under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
american corporation
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you have two cows.
you sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an ipo on the 2nd one.
you force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. you are surprised when one cow drops dead.
you spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
your stock goes up.
french corporation
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you have two cows.
you go on strike because you want three cows.
you go to lunch and drink wine.
life is good.
japanese corporation
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you have two cows.
you redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
they learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
most are at the top of their class at cow school.
german corporation
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you have two cows.
you engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
italian corporation
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you have two cows but you don't know where they are.
while ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
you break for lunch.
life is good.
russian corporation
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you have two cows.
you have some vodka.
you count them and learn you have five cows.
you have some more vodka.
you count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
the mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
taliban corporation
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you have all the cows in afghanistan, which are two.
you don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
then you kill them and claim a us bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
iraqian corporation
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you have two cows.
they go into hiding.
they send radio tapes of their mooing.
polish corporation
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you have two bulls.
employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
florida corporation
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you have a black cow and a brown cow.
everyone votes for the best looking one.
some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. some people vote for both.
some people vote for neither.
some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking cow.
california corporation
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you have millions of cows
most are illegals
arnold likes the ones with the big tits.
Video:
yo mamma is like a bowling ball. she gets picked up, fingered,
thrown in the gutter and she still comes back for more
yo momma is like a hardware store- 5 cents a screw,
yo mama is like the pilsbery doughboy, everybody pokes her
yo momma's so fat, when she tripped in ohio, tokyo had an aftershock.
yo mamma's so dumb she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.
yo mommas so fat when she stepped on the scale she saw her phone number!
your mum's so fat her legs look like spoiled milk - white and chunky.
yo mamma is so old, they had to take her tampon to the natural history museum to find out what period it came from.
yo mammas so fat, when she ordered a water bed they put a blaket over the atlantic ocean.
yo mamma's so fat when she went swimming in the ocean the whales statred to sing "we are family"
your mamma is so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob because she thought it would help his unemployment.
yo mamma so fat she has to do slip & slide on the 405 freeway.
your mother is so stupid, she thought chicken pot pie was a fraternity!
your mother is so dumb, she thinks mci was a rapper.
yo mama's so fat, she only needs one drop of water to fill the bath tub up.
your mother is so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than am english muffin!
yo mamma so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper.
yo mamma's ass is so big when she sits down shes 3 feet taller
your mother is so cross-eyed, she went to a movie and thought it was a double feature.
your mum is like a shopping trolley give her a pound and you got her all day
yo mamma so bucked toothed, when she bowed her head to pray she bit a whole in her chest
yo mamma's ass is so big that each butt cheek has a different area code...
your mother is so fat, every time she tries to get out of bed, she rocks herself back to sleep.
yo mama's so fat and old when moses wanted to part the red sea he told her to do a cannon ball
your mamma is so fat that she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
your mommas so fat, when she talks to herself it's a long distance call!
yo mamas so fat, when she tripped over a nintendo she made 4 gameboys!
yo mamma so fat that when she went to sea world, they were taking pictures of her.
your momma is so poor when someone flicked a booger outside your box, your mom said "clap your hands and stomp your feet, thank the lord hes given us meat!"
yo mama is so fat when she went skydiving over iraq everyone thaught america dropped a nuke.
yo mamma's so dumb, when ya'll were driving to disney world she saw a sign that said "disney world left" so she went home.
yo mammas so dumb, your aunt had twins. she asked yo mamma to name the twins. she named one denise and the other denephew.
yo mammas so dumb it takes her an hour and a half to make minute rice.
yo mammas got so many rolls on her stomach, she has to screw her underwear on.
yo mammas so black, she went to night school and got marked absent.
yo mamma so fat, when she steped on the cats tail, you had to change his name to beaver.
your mommas so old, when moses parted the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
yo momma is so fat, that i couldn't have sex with her until i rolled her in flour and found the wet spot.
yo momma's so fat, her blood type's ragu
yo momma's so fat, the whale from free willy freed her
yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
yo momma's so fat, she makes free willy look like a tic tac
yo momma's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the tv i missed 3 commercials
yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes please"
yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.
yo momma's so ugly they filmed "gorillas in the mist" in her shower
yo momma's so fat, when we played hide and seek i spotted her behind the himalayas
yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please
yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for halloween.
yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
