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they say: you get this one, next round is on me.
they really mean: we won't be here long enough to get another round.
they say: i'll get this one, next one is on you.
they really mean: happy hour is about to end and beers are now a dollar, but by the next round
they'll be $4.50 a pop.
they say: hey, where is that friend of yours?
they really mean: i have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into
a compromising position.
they say: what do you have on tap?
they really mean: what's cheap?
they say (female): i'll have a glass of house white.
they really mean: i'm easy.
they say (male): i'll have a glass of house white.
they really mean: i'm gay.
they say (female): i'll have a white russian.
they really mean: i'm really easy.
they say (male): i'll have a white russian.
they really mean: i'm really gay.
they say: do you have any sambuca?
they really mean: i want to make my friend really sick so we can all laugh at him in the morning.
they say (male to female): ever try a body shot?
they really mean: i am even willing to drink tequila if it means that i get to lick you.
they say (female to male): ever try a body shot?
they really mean: if this is how wild i am in the bar, can you imagine what i'll do to you in bed?
they say (female): can i just get a glass of water?
they really mean: i am really annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.
they say (male): can i just get a glass of water?
they really mean: it's 6:00 am and i just stopped drinking ½ hour ago. hell, i probably spent half my
paycheck in here last night, it's the least you can do for me.
they say (female): i don't feel well, let's go home.
they really mean: you're paying more attention to your friends than to me.
they say (male): i don't feel well, let's go home.
theyreally mean: i'm horny.
they say: who's got the next round?
they really mean: i haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but i am an expert at diverting attention.
they say (male to male): excuse me.
they really mean: get the hell out of the way.
they say (male to female): excuse me.
they really mean: i am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd.
they say (female to male): excuse me.
they really mean: don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way.
they say (female to female): excuse me.
they really mean: move your fat ass. who do you think you are anyway? you're certainly not all that,
missy, coming in here dressed like a ho... and get your eyes off of my man, or i'll slap you like the slut you
are, bitch.
they say: that person looks really familiar.
they really mean: did i sleep with him/her?
they say (female): i don't have my i.d. on me.
they really mean: i'm 16.
they say (male): i don't have my id on me.
they really mean: i don't have a license since i got pulled over and blew a .4 after my last visit here.
they say: no, really, i'm ok to drive.
they really mean: i'm wasted, and i am too embarrassed to have anybody see who i am going home
with.
they say: i'm not used to these darts.
they really mean: i'm can't throw anything smaller than a pool cue when i am this bombed.
they say (male to female): let's go out to my car and get some cigarettes.
they really mean: you would look great face down in my lap.
they say: i've had like 10 beers already.
they really mean: i've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.
they say: you go ahead, i'll catch a cab.
they really mean: i already lined up a ride home with your ex!
