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because everything is bigger in texas
always hatin' on texas.
classic episode of tom and jerry "texas tom". episode 49.
stevie ray vaughn performing texas flood at austin city limits.
well now it`s only 49 to go. "don`t mess with texas"
this comic books has a very interesting view of texas.
republican's using left/right paradigm, to drive wedge between parties, when in fact they are the same. also governor perry of texas saying there is no republican candidate from texas. well i guess he has not heard of ron paul. vote : ron paul 2008.
there once was a blind man who decided to visit texas. when he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "wow, these seats are big!" the person next to him answered, "everything is big in texas." when he finally arrived in texas, he decided to visit a bar. upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. he exclaimed, "wow these mugs are big!" the bartender replied, "everything is big in texas." after a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. the bartender replied, "second door to the right." the blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "don`t flush, don`t flush!"
alabama
it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
dominoes may not be played on sunday.
it is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
texas
it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
it is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. you don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
it is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
it is illegal to milk another person's cow.
a recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
the entire encyclopedia britannica is banned in texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
additional information and footage about the texas shootout that was previously posted here. they are known as the "takeover bandits."
with the guy that shot the two burglars on here a while ago. i thought this was interesting. apparently the police in texas are not being a good example to people.
morgellons disease is a bizarre and painful illness that medicine has not yet begun to understand. nevertheless, it's spreading, especially in south texas. the disease is by no means common, but it appears to be incurable, and to last indefinitely, and the horrific symptoms make it so hard to bear that some sufferers have taken their own lives. so far, around 100 cases of morgellons have been reported in south texas, which leads the country in terms of cases reported. other cases have been found in southern california and florida, but many doctors, seeing no description of the disease in medical texts, assume that it's psychosomatic and send sufferers for mental health treatment.
the disease appears in the form of lesions that emit black, tarry specks and fibers of various colors, including white, red and cobalt blue. the lesions are extremely painful and do not heal. ginger savely, a nures practitioner in austin, is working with doctors to attempt to identify the illness. to those who have observed the lesions, there is no question but that the disease is a real, physical illness.
more than half of all morgellons sufferers have also been diagnosed with lyme disease.
this is a video of a police chase. when the suspects start to slow down, things get a little crazy.
more clips taking chuck norris down a few pegs...i hate norris!!!!!
ufo filmed at night.
good song by the union underground. excellent head nodder.
wow.
taking a page from the original flick, the nerd takes a look at a game that will make you want to gut yourself with a chainsaw.
an arlington man accused of killing his estranged wife and two stepchildren fatally shot himself friday as he drove into a lake, ending a nearly seven-hour standoff with police.
for teaching evolution, and "not being neutral about creationism".
republican party convention resolution passed march 29, 2008! on march 29th, a houston anon made history. this brave anon, a galveston county delegate to the rnc, braved a republican national convention policy meeting and presented a proposal to get the church of scientology's status as a religion revoked. this would potentially mean stripping the tax exemption as well. this will need to work it's way up the ladder and if it makes it, it will mean that part of the republican party's platform will be stripping scientology of its religious status.
i got this is an email from a relative. frank: "recently, i was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. the original person called in sick at the last moment and i happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the coors light truck, when the call came in. i was assured by the other two judges (native texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me i could have free beer during the tasting, so i accepted." here are the scorecards from the advent: (frank judge #3) chili # 1 eddie's maniac monster chili... judge # 1 --! a little too heavy on the tomato. amusing kick. judge # 2 -- nice, smooth tomato flavor. very mild. judge # 3 -- (frank) what the hell is this stuff?! you could remove dried paint from your driveway. took me two beers to put out the flames. i hope that's the worst one. these texans are crazy! chili # 2 austin's afterburner chili... judge # 1 -- smoky, with a hint of pork. slight jalapeno tang. judge # 2 -- exciting bbq flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously. judge # 3 -- keep this out of the reach of children. i'm not sure what i'm supposed to taste besides pain. i had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the heimlich maneuver. they had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. chili # 3 ronny's famous burn down the barn chili... judge # 1 -- excellent firehouse chili. great kick. needs more beans. judge # 2 -- a beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. judge # 3 -- call the epa. i've located a uranium spill. my nose feels like i have been snorting drano. everyone knows the routine by now. get me more beer before i ignite. barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. i'm getting pie-eyed from all of the beer... chili # 4 dave's black magic... judge # 1 -- black bean chili with almost no spice. disappointing. judge # 2 -- hint of lime in the black beans. good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili. judge # 3 -- i felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. is it possible to burn out taste buds? sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. that 300-lb. woman is starting to look hot...just like this nuclear waste i'm eating! is chili an aphrodisiac? chili # 5 lisa's legal lip remover... judge # 1 -- meaty, strong chili. cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. very impressive. judge # 2 -- chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. must admit the cayenne ! peppers make a strong statement. judge # 3 -- my ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and i can no longer focus my eyes. i farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. the contestant seemed offended when i told her that her chili had given me brain damage. sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. i wonder if i'm burning my lips off. it really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. screw those rednecks. chili # 6 pam's very vegetarian variety... judge # 1 -- thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. good balance of spices and peppers. judge # 2 -- the best yet. aggressive use of peppers, onions, a! nd garlic. superb. judge # 3 -- my intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. i pooped on myself when i farted and i'm worried it will eat through the chair! no one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. i need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. chili # 7 carla's screaming sensation chili... judge # 1 -- a mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. judge # 2 -- ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **i should take note that i am worried about judge # 3. he appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably. judge # 3 -- you could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and i wouldn't feel a thing. i've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. my shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. my pants are full of lava to match my shirt. at least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. i've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. screw it; i'm not getting any oxygen anyway. if i need air, i'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. chili # 8 karen's toenail curling chili... judge # 1 -- the perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence. judge # 2 -- this final entry is a good, balanced ! chili. neither mild, nor hot. sorry to see that most of it was lost when judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. not sure if he's going to make it. poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?"
take out as many old lawyers and family friends as you can before the time runs out.
definition of "jeet."
