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people commenting on white stereotypes.
always seems to play themselves out.
a funny finding that i discovered while trying to google the formula i had seen before about why it's impossible to get a girlfriend. so instead, i made a demotivational poster about it.
season 4 ep 12 in this clip jd imagines how a black family are going to act when they watch turk perform surgery on their relative.
top 10 movie hollywood stereotypes. thanks to ratbstard for the pics.
whereas hollywood should be the vanguard of stories that tackle borders, expose points of views that are rarely heard in modern society and serve up incisive social and cultural critiques, it has largely relied on stereotypes as a major selling point. so with some fictional help from a fictional jesse jackson-type character, jesse jackman, to debunk some of hollywood’s worst stereotypes. little kids, big mouths typecast: precocious, older-than-their-years children are out there waiting to teach you a valuable (and heartwarming) lesson or two about life. examples: dakota fanning jesse says: “i believe the children are the future as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous.” remember how when you were a kid and all you cared about was candy, dinosaurs and burning stuff? okay, scratch the last part. more importantly: remember how no one listened to anything you had to say until you were like, 24? well, hollywood wants you to believe in what we call the “dakota fanning factor”—a theory that presupposes adults actually listen to children, take their advice and grow as people as a result. we’re not saying children won’t teach you anything, we’re saying that watching film after film pointing this out is very painful and quite unnecessary.
hong kong phooey! typecast: hollywood likes to keep things simple for all of us prozac-addled masses out here. all red state americans are republicans (just ask jimmy carter). all italians are gangsters. and all asian people know martial arts. remember in sideways when sandra oh totally caved in the dude from wings’ face with a motorcycle helmet? yup, martial arts. examples: any north american movie starring jackie chan, jet li or chow yun fat—and a quarter of the ones starring lucy liu. jesse says: “to minimize is to demoralize when we should aggrandize!” when harold and kumar go to white castle is not only a more accurate portrait of an average asian american but also a stinging indictment of north american cinema’s various asian stereotypes you know hollywood has a problem.
an asian toddler eating a dog
brotherhood of the thug typecast: for an urban crime drama to be worth its weight in suburban box-office gold, the scowling african-american thug is oft employed. a communal being, the thug congregates around like-minded peers. activities often include rapping, killing and dropping g’s – both in the financial sense and at the end of words. examples: ice cube in boyz in the hood; 50 cent in get rich or die tryin’; the game in waist deep. jesse jackman says: “this is the degradation of the progressification of a nation.” what jesse means is that hollywood is more or less nearsighted when it comes to portraying black males. whereas in real-life, black men hold degrees, good jobs and creative wells of talent, hollywood, like the l.a.p.d, often mistakes those for pistols. and, no, cuba gooding jr. in snow dogs isn’t a suitable alternative.
the latino drug lords typecast: the drug trade is a complex network of class exploitation and backroom complicity spanning nations, yet hollywood will have you believe audiences won't recognize a drug movie if the cartel isn’t headed by a nefarious latino drug lord. the latino drug lord doesn’t wear socks with his shoes and pronounces “man” like “mang” to the delight of every popcorn scholar who thinks that the variation is actual spanish. examples: al pacino in scarface; luis tosar in miami vice; miguel sandoval in clear and present danger. jesse says: “an egregious miscalculation of the veracity of the representation of the latino congregation.” to clarify, jesse thinks that the representation of latinos in film is already sparse and that relegating them to drug lords without a variety of other roles depicting latinos in a different light is unfair, irresponsible and damaging.
irreparably blonde typecast: the dumb blonde can be found chewing gum, touching her hair and generally putting the ass back in asinine. examples: tara reid in josie and the pussycats; jessica simpson in dukes of hazzard; paris hilton in house of wax. jesse says: “to make a flagrant debacle out of one’s hair follicle is a misappropriation that reaches the highest pinnacle.” to label all blondes as hopeless idiots is a sweeping error that ignores scholarly blondes such as barbara walters and that delightful reese witherspoon.
the sassy sistah-gurl typecast: hollywood’s new-school mammy character, the sassy sistah-gurl is overbearing, boisterous and ostentatious, yet underneath her head swiveling and finger snapping she's a good-natured soul. examples: halle berry in b*a*p*s and bulworth; queen latifah in bringing down the house; wanda sykes in everything she’s ever done. jesse says: “we must elevate, not deflate, before it’s too late.” hollywood’s answer to the lack of varied roles for black women hasn’t been an increase in quality roles but rather to up the output of a single, cartoonish image. jesse sees this trend as retroactive and hopes that in future, producers will smarten up before he has to call in oprah to bestow a p.o.v altering “aha” moment on everyone.
pretty and witty and gay! typecast: hollywood usually casts the most non-threatening gay man in a film to prove how “progressive” they are. the gay character is well-groomed, wears pastels and speaks with a lisp, making everything he says sound absolutely agreeable. examples: stanley tucci in shall we dance and the devil wears prada jesse says: “to advance we must not prance around the issues.” to be truly progressive, hollywood needs to break people out of its comfort/discomfort zone and depict gay life in all its dimensions. yes, the queer community can be affable, but lest we forget the rosie o’donnell phenomenon, they can be hell on wheels, too. expand, hollywood, expand.
badda-boom badda-b.s! typecast: mobsters typically employ a lot of “ey”s and “oh”s, have a nickname that begins with “the” (as in pauly “the pencil” carbone), and will “whack” people with little provocation. you might find these fine fellows at a family bbq or local neighborhood strip joint—that they own (for tax purposes, of course.) examples: alec baldwin in married to the mob; robert deniro in analyze this; joe pesci in pretty much everything. jesse says: “to move forward we must not bury the issues underfoot.” perhaps hollywood might look for better ways to portray italians than simply as cutthroat gangsters with a penchant for sweat-suits and cement shoes. as a possible suggestion, we heard they had a little something to do with that whole renaissance thing that happened way back when—maybe a movie about that?
like a box of chocolates typecast: often we become complacent in our everyday lives, forgetting the bounteous gift that being “normal” is. thank all the angels we have disabled people around who, through the brave examples they set just trying to do “normal” stuff, show us how privileged we really are. examples: cuba gooding jr. in radio, sean penn in i am sam, tom hanks in forrest gump. jesse says: “the blame and the shame lie with those who fail to treat all god’s children the same.” the film industry’s obsession with using the disabled as some sort of emotional tutorial for “normal” characters who have “lost touch” with what’s “important” is patronizing and offensive. films documenting the lives of the disabled aren’t the problem, it’s hollywood’s smug satisfaction and cynical back-patting we take issue with—especially when they are essentially making millions of dollars and earning oscars off of disabilities.
nerds are people too typecast: geeks and nerds are smart, socially awkward, star wars (or star trek) loving, computer geniuses who society laughs at and locks in high school lockers on a regular basis. until, of course, we realize we lash out at these easy targets simply because of our own insecurities and inadequacies. examples: anthony michael hall in the breakfast club, jon cryer in pretty in pink, jaleel white in family matters. jesse says: “the meek shall inherit the earth, the private jets, and all those video game dollars out there, too.” what jesse has astutely observed is that, while taking some nasty jabs in high school and possibly university, nerds totally cleaned up and continue to do so in our post-dot com universe. just ask bill gates, world’s wealthiest nerd, er, person. do we really need to feel sorry for these people any more?
