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condom slogans: 1) cover your stump before you hump 2) before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3) don't be silly, protect your willie 4) when in doubt shroud you spout 5) don't be a loner, cover your boner 6) you can't go wrong, if you shield your dong 7) if your not going to sack it, go home and whack it 8) if you think she's spunky, cover your monkey 9) it will be sweeter if you wrap your peter 10) if you slip between her thighs, condomize
three women are having trouble talking about their husbands because the men all have the same 1st name. they decide to give them all nicknames in order to tell them apart during conversations. they all decide to name their husbands after different kinds of soda. the 1st woman says, "i'll name my husband coke because their slogan is 'can't beat the feeling!' and that's how i feel about sex with him." the 2nd woman says, "i'll name my husband 7 up because he's about 7 inches and always up if you know what i mean." they all laugh and the 3rd woman says, "i'll name my husband jack daniel’s." there is a moment of silence and they say to her, "but, jack daniel’s is a hard liquor." she says.... "exactly!"
13) when parker pen marketed a ball-point pen in mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "it won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant." 12) scandinavian vacuum manufacturer electrolux used the following in an american campaign: "nothing sucks like an electrolux." 11) clairol introduced the "mist stick," a curling iron, into germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. not too many people had use for the "manure stick." 10) coors put its slogan, "turn it loose," into spanish, where it was read as "suffer from diarrhea." 9) pepsi's "come alive with the pepsi generation" translated into "pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave" in chinese. 8) when gerber started selling baby food in africa, they used the same packaging as in the us, with the smiling baby on the label. later they learned that in africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't read. 7) colgate introduced a toothpaste in france called cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine. 6) frank perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken," was translated into spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate." 5) when american airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the mexican market, it translated its "fly in leather" campaign literally, which meant "fly naked" (vuela en cuero) in spanish. 4) an american t-shirt maker in miami printed shirts for the spanish market which promoted the pope's visit. instead of "i saw the pope" (el papa), the shirts read "i saw the potato" (la papa). 3) the dairy association's huge success with the campaign "got milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to mexico. it was soon brought to their attention the spanish translation read "are you lactating?" 2) general motors had a very famous fiasco in trying to market the nova car in central and south america. "no va" in spanish means, "it doesn't go". 1) the coca-cola name in china was first read as "kekoukela", meaning "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokoukole", translating into "happiness in the mouth."
they might want to use this for the next election.
so right!
you've got to admit that this one is true..
"you probably think marijuana is cool. well guess what? if you try marijuana, you will be raped by large angry black men."
ever wonder who comes up with these things?
- never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. - never quit until you have another job. - work harder slaves! - the beatings will continue until morale improves. - if you can read this, you're not working! - hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! - go the extra mile - it makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker. - pride, commitment, teamwork - words we use to get you to work for free. - succeed in spite of management. - work: it isn't just for sleeping anymore. - there are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.
- if you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday. - the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. - sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent. - if you think we're a bad firm, you should see our rivals! - rome did not create a great empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all those who opposed them. - a person who smiles in the face of adversity, probably has a scapegoat. - abandon all hope, ye who enter here. - we make great money! we have great benefits! we do no work! we are union members! - two days without a human rights violation! - if at first you don't succeed - try management. - it's only unethical if you get caught.
