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lightning sells arizona.
a woman accidentally sold her husband's ex-wife's ashes at a yard sale.
painting bought for 19,000 dollars 2 years ago will sell for 150 million plus! october 15, 2009 bbc world
while checking the church storeroom, the pastor discovered several cases of new bibles that never had been opened and distributed. so at his sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise money for the church. jack, paul, and louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. the minister knew that jack and paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. but he had serious doubts about louie, a local farmer who always had kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. poor louie stuttered badly. but because he didn't want to discourage louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway. he sent the three of them away with the backseats of their cars stacked with bibles. he asked them to meet with him and report the results of their efforts the following sunday. anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked jack, "well, jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?" proudly handing the reverend an envelope, jack replied, "using my sales prowess, i was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 i collected on behalf of the church." "fine job, jack!" the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "you are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you." turning to paul, he said, "and paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?" paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "i am a professional salesman. i sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's the $280 i collected." the minister responded, "that's absolutely splendid, paul. you are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you." apprehensively, the minister turned to louie and said, "and louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. the minister opened it and counted the contents. "louie, there's $3,200 in here! are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door-to-door, in just one week?" louie just nodded. "that's impossible!" both jack and paul said in unison. "we are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could." "yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "i think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, louie." louie shrugged. "i-i-i re-re-re-really do-do-do-don't kn-kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered. "a-a-a-all i-i-i s-s-s-said wa-wa-wa-was 'w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-like t-t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-bible f-f-f-for t-t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks o-o-o-or wo-wo-wo-would yo-yo-yo-you j-j-j-just l-l-l-like m-m-m-me t-t-t-to st-st-st-stand h-h-h-here and r-r-r-read it t-t-t-to y-y-y-you?'"
while checking the church storeroom, the pastor discovered several cases of new bibles that never had been opened and distributed. so at his sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise money for the church. jack, paul, and louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. the minister knew that jack and paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. but he had serious doubts about louie, a local farmer who always had kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. poor louie stuttered badly. but because he didn`t want to discourage louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway. he sent the three of them away with the backseats of their cars stacked with bibles. he asked them to meet with him and report the results of their efforts the following sunday. anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked jack, "well, jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?" proudly handing the reverend an envelope, jack replied, "using my sales prowess, i was able to sell 20 bibles, and here`s the $200 i collected on behalf of the church." "fine job, jack!" the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "you are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you." turning to paul, he said, "and paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?" paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "i am a professional salesman. i sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here`s the $280 i collected." the minister responded, "that`s absolutely splendid, paul. you are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you." apprehensively, the minister turned to louie and said, "and louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. the minister opened it and counted the contents. "louie, there`s $3,200 in here! are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door-to-door, in just one week?" louie just nodded. "that`s impossible!" both jack and paul said in unison. "we are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could." "yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "i think you`d better explain how you managed to accomplish this, louie." louie shrugged. "i-i-i re-re-re-really do-do-do-don`t kn-kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered. "a-a-a-all i-i-i s-s-s-said wa-wa-wa-was `w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-like t-t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-bible f-f-f-for t-t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks o-o-o-or wo-wo-wo-would yo-yo-yo-you j-j-j-just l-l-l-like m-m-m-me t-t-t-to st-st-st-stand h-h-h-here and r-r-r-read it t-t-t-to y-y-y-you?`"
bake sales? been done. car washes? so 2005. and pop can drives can fall flat. so the rev. rick oliver, pastor for the first church of god in pendleton, cast about for a new idea to raise money for sending 18 people on a mission to costa rica and settled on...toilet paper? oliver hit on the idea of selling toilet paper after hearing about a baseball coach on the east coast who successfully sold the product. as for the brand, what else? it's angel soft _ oliver's church took delivery of a truckload of it from a portland distributor this week.the church is selling the toilet paper either by the roll or by the case, and offers free delivery with the purchase of a case or more. oliver now is a practiced hand with his toilet paper sales pitch. "the rolls are larger than the standard, with 450 sheets per roll, and it's two-ply," he told the east oregonian newspaper. "we've heard all the jokes. people really enjoy that it's angel soft, but what else would a church sell?"
hmm, support your church, wipe your @ss.
cbs
‘the man show’ boy is at it again. this time he’s dressed up as a girl and selling girl scout cookies. i especially love what he says to the last customer.
a guy from canada bought a ps3 for $1700 and then goes to sell it on ebay for $1 to help boost the holiday spirit.
eye candy. random video clips created by briceman. (original music not so good, so replaced it with "she sells sanctuary" by the cult.)
"brought to you by lockheed martin"
"the more i played the more memory i lost."
july 09, 2009 cnn
australian barrister julian burnside outlines content-related constraints on the media industry. he emphasizes the role of profit as a manipulator of content, claiming sports, sex, and political misconduct as the three most lucrative story topics for media sources.
this is a clip from "analyze that" where robert de niro plays a mobster trying to go legit.
if only it were real *sigh*.
especially true for the film industry.
the hoff is doing what he does best... being cheesy.
an undercover investigation by bbc news finds that china has a flourishing trade of organs from executed prisoners. china is becoming the destination of choice for rich foreigners in need of organ transplants. one hospital said it could provide a liver for roughly $100,000. the majority of these prisoners are political dissidents, those who simply protest their government. remember that next time you're shopping at wal-mart, as 70-90% of their products come from china.
the man show boy sells beer to people on the side of the road.
a blonde was trying to sell her old car. she was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. one day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. the brunette told her, "there is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "that doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if i can only sell the car." "okay," said the brunette. "here is the address of a friend of mine. he owns a car repair shop. tell him i sent you and he will 'fix it'. then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car." the following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. about one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "did you sell your car?" "no," replied the blonde, "why should i? it only has 50,000 miles on it!"
a man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "we don't need any one," they replied. "you can't afford not to hire me. i can sell anyone anytime any thing." "we have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. if you can sell just one, you have a job." he was gone for about two hours and returned and handed them two checks, one for a $80,000 policy and another for a $50,000 policy. "how in the world did you do that," they asked. "i told you i'm the world's best salesman, i can sell anyone anywhere anytime." "did you get a urine sample?" they asked him. "why's that?" he asked. "well, if you sell a policy over $40,000 the company requires a urine sample. take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples." he was gone for about eight hours and then he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. he sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and says, "here's mr. brown's and this one is mr. smith's." "that's good," they said, "but what's in those two buckets?" "well, i passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention and i sold them a group policy!"
london — imagine that. a lock of john lennon's hair sold for $48,000 wednesday in an auction of beatles' memorabilia collected by the band's hairdresser. the hair _ inside an autographed copy of lennon's book "a spaniard in the works" _ sold to an unnamed telephone bidder. gorringes auction house had estimated the hair would sell for $4,000 to $6,000. lennon gave the book and the lock of hair to betty glasow, the fab four's hairdresser during their heyday. he wrote in the book, "to betty, lots of love and hair, john lennon xx." "it is astonishing that there is still so much interest in the beatles and the sale goes to prove that john lennon is still an icon," said francesca collin, a spokeswoman for gorringes. "to have some of lennon's hair along with a signed note from him really does give it fantastic provenance and authenticity," collin said. glasow, who kept the beatles' moptops trimmed on the set of their films "a hard day's night" and "help!" in the 1960s, decided to sell the items because she wanted fans to have them, said nick muston, a director of the auction house. "she feels that rather than these things being stuck in a drawer with nobody enjoying them, real enthusiasts (could) get their hands on these things," muston said. other items sold at the auction in worthing included signed photographs of the band dedicated to glasow, including one that george harrison signed "george "dandruff" harrison." it sold for $13,000. source
goldsboro, n.c. (ap) - a middle school in north carolina is selling test scores to students in a bid to raise money. the news & observer of raleigh reported wednesday that a parent advisory council at rosewood middle school in goldsboro come up with the fundraiser plan after last year's chocolate sale flopped. the school will sell 20 test points to students for $20. students can add 10 extra points to each of two tests of their choice. the extra points could take a student from a "b'' to an "a'' on those tests or from a failing grade to a passing grade. principal susie shepherd says it's not enough of an impact to change a student's overall grades. officials at the state department of public instruction say exchanging grades for money teaches children the wrong lessons.\ source
one day, a blonde went into an appliance store that was having a sale on tv's. she walked up to the counter and said to the clerk, "i would like to buy this tv." the clerk replied, "sorry, i don't sell to blondes." so, the blonde dyed her hair brown and returned the next day. again, she went up to the counter and said, "i would like to buy this tv." and again, the clerk answered, "sorry, i don't sell to blondes." puzzled, the blonde asked, "how did you know i was a blonde?" and the clerk said, "because that is a microwave."
