Spiked Humor Crave Online

Video:

skateboard salesman

a persistant salesman holds a customer hostage until he buys a skateboard that is just so easy to use.

• 2.3879/5
• 402
• 12
• 8/2/2006
• by rjsbass

Video:

crazy car salesman

this car salesman must have escaped the local sanitarium.

• 3.3452/5
• 5001
• 23
• 10/23/2007
• by kashshaptu

Video:

salesman

a salesman rang the bell at a home, and the door was opened by a nine-year-old boy puffing on a long black cigar.

hiding his amazement, the salesman asked the young man, "is your mother home?"

the boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes on the carpet, and asked,

"what do you think?"

• 3.4421/5
• 2688
• 6
• 2/19/2006
• by sn1per_uk

Video:

salesman 2

a young guy from texas moves to california and goes to a big department store looking for a job. the manager says, "do you have any sales experience?" the kid says, "yeah, i was a salesman back home in texas."

well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "you start tomorrow. i'll come down after we close and see how you did."

his first day on the job was rough but he got through it. after the store was locked up, the boss came down. "how many sales did you make today?"

the kid says, "one."

the boss says, "just one? our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. how much was the sale for?"

kid says, "$101,237.64."

boss says, "$101,237.64? what did you sell him?"

kid says, "first i sold him a small fish hook. then i sold him a medium fish hook. then i sold him a larger fish hook. then i sold him a new fishing rod. then i asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so i told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and i sold him that twin engine chris craft. then he said he didn't think his honda civic would pull it, so i took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 blazer."

the boss said, "a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"

kid says, "no, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and i said, 'well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

• 4.0605/5
• 1834
• 4
• 5/26/2007
• by hdaackda

Video:

whose line - film dubbing (salesmen)

ryan stiles and greg proops on the old uk version.

• 4.3852/5
• 3946
• 4
• 7/26/2007
• by ShapeSphere

Video:

salesman pitches windows 1.0

get your copy of windows 1.0 today! if you don't have it, you're nobody.

• 3.1241/5
• 15143
• 24
• 6/26/2005
• by Scienott

Video:

little johnny, the salesman

the kids filed back into class monday morning. they were very excited. their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

little sally led off: "i sold girl scout cookies and i made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and i credit that approach for my obvious success."

"very good," said the teacher.

little jenny was next: "i sold magazines," she said, "i made $45 and i explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"very good, jenny," said the teacher.

eventually, it was little johnny's turn. the teacher held her breath. little johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "what in the world were you selling?"

"toothbrushes," said little johnny.

"toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "how could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"i found the busiest corner in town," said little johnny, "i set up a dip & chip stand. i gave everybody who walked by a sample. they all said the same thing, "hey, this tastes like shit!" then i would say, "it is shit. wanna buy a toothbrush?"

• 4.3256/5
• 4048
• 11
• 7/9/2005
• by Scienott

Video:

jerky boys ~ car salesman

guy wants to buy a car.

• 3.5/5
• 5446
• 0
• 10/12/2005
• by isoptera4

Video:

clever vacuum salesman

a little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “good morning” said the young man.

“if i could take a couple of minutes of your time, i would like to demonstrate the very latest in high powered vacuum cleaners.” “go away”, said the old lady. “i haven’t got any money. i’m broke”, and she proceeded to closer the door.

quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door, and pushed it wide open.

“don’t be too hasty”, he said. “not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” and with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

“if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, madam, i will personally eat the remainder.”

the old lady stepped back and said, “well i hope you’ve got a good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.”

• 3.8971/5
• 2655
• 4
• 11/7/2005
• by CitizenSnips

Video:

insurance salesman no more!

tired of those stupid commercials with that lizard selling insurance for geico? here's a grand solution!

• 3.5572/5
• 4160
• 2
• 1/14/2006
• by specter

Video:

best buy salesman

this guy dances his ass off to make a sale! lol look how he shakes his "thang".......

• 4.5598/5
• 8973
• 34
• 5/24/2008
• by doseroxla

Video:

true lies - wussy salesman

simon the salesman pleads for his life as arnie and pal tom arnold have a little fun.

• 3.3928/5
• 1721
• 8
• 12/13/2007
• by TheRepostPolice

Video:

sexist salesman

commercials using a badger to depict sales people. pretty realistic i would say, and i am not promoting this dealer, just some funny commercials.

• 2.8877/5
• 627
• 1
• 4/25/2008
• by bajaboy

Video:

true lies - sleezy car salesman

bill paxton`s character thinks arnold wants to buy a car but little does he know... arnie needs to know if this ass is banging his wife.

• 4.3731/5
• 5118
• 18
• 12/9/2007
• by TheRepostPolice

Video:

born salesman

i learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old boat, a trailer and a motor from me. "thanks," he said as he loaded them up. "i'm planning to resell them." good luck, i thought. i had been trying to get rid of them for months. but when i ran into him a few weeks later, he'd sold everything. "how did you manage that?" i marveled. "i took out an ad: 'heavy-duty boat trailer with free boat.' when the buyer came to get it, i asked if he had a motor. he said no. i told him i happened to have one in my garage. bought that, too."

• 2.9/5
• 21
• 0
• 12/24/2008
• by TigerRenko

Video:

door-to-door pot salesman arrested

a teenager who had been going door to door trying to sell marijuana early thursday was arrested after he went to the residence of a brownsville police officer, police said.

anthony carrazco, 19, was arrested at the officer’s apartment at approximately 3:30 a.m. when he tried to sell the officer three ounces of marijuana, said police spokesman jimmy manrrique. he was later charged with one count of possession of marijuana and one count of possession of a prohibited weapon.

the officer at the apartment found a 9mm handgun in carrazco’s possession, said manrrique. because the apartment was located near a school zone, the charges were upgraded to state jail felonies, he added.

later thursday morning, carrazco went before a municipal judge who set his bond at $10,000 and sent him to carrizalez-rucker-rucker detention center.

the apartment is in the downtown area near utb-tsc; however, the address was not released because of security reasons.

"(carrazco) went to an apartment building in the downtown area," manrrique said. "he had over three ounces of marijuana in his possession and obviously looking for people to buy marijuana from him."

an intoxicated carrazco went door to door looking for a buyer and when a man opened the door, he made the offer, police said.

"(carrazco) asked him if he wanted to buy marijuana," manrrique said. "this person he approached is a brownsville police officer. the officer said he would be right back and went to go get his badge and handcuffs."

carrazco was cooperative and didn’t offer any resistance.

once carrazco was under arrest, the officer searched him and found a 9mm handgun in his bag where he kept the drugs, the spokesman said. the officer also called on-duty officers to his house, where they picked up carrazco.

source

• 4.6396/5
• 821
• 7
• 11/18/2009
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

salesman

private jones was assigned to the army induction center, where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their serviceman's group life insurance (sgli). it wasn't long before the center's lieutenant noticed that private jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. rather than ask about this, the lt. stood in the back of the room and listened to jones' sales pitch.

jones explained the basics of the sgli to the new recruits, and then said. "if you have sgli and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. if you don't have sgli, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000."

"now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

• 3.7079/5
• 1944
• 2
• 5/26/2007
• by hdaackda