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Video:
7 reasons to take it easy on the beer.
a video showing the real reason the us destroyed iraq, and will invade iran.
the irrational health service (part 2 of "the enemies of reason" series) prof richard dawkins looks at how health has become a battleground between reason and superstition. a third of us now spend a total of over 1.6 billion a year on superstitious alternative remedies, but 80% of them have never been subjected to properly conducted trials. the enemies of reason program in his last channel 4 series, root of all evil?, the evolutionary biologist professor richard dawkins explored how organized faith and ... all » primitive religious values blight our lives. but the fault line runs deeper even than religion. there are two ways of looking at the world – through faith and superstition or through the rigors of logic, observation and evidence – in other words, through reason. reason and a respect for evidence are precious commodities, the source of human progress and our safeguard against fundamentalists and those who profit from obscuring the truth. yet, today, society appears to be retreating from reason. apparently harmless but utterly irrational belief systems from astrology to new age mysticism, clairvoyance to alternative health remedies are booming. richard dawkins confronts what he sees as an epidemic of irrational, superstitious thinking... he explains the dangers the pick and mix of knowledge and nonsense poses in the internet age, and passionately re-states the case for reason and science.
one early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up. mom : "wake up, son. it's time to go to school." son : "but why, mama? i don't want to go to school." mom : "give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school." son : "one, all the chilldren hate me. two, all the teachers hate me." mom : "oh! that's not a reason. come on, you have to go to school." son : "give me two good reasons why i *should* go to school?" mom : "one, you are fifty-two years old and should understand your responsibilities. two, you are the principal of the school. *
a man in places with a lot of people.. yells and startles them. is there a reason? *hic up*
dawkins points to some of science’s achievements and describes it as freeing “most of us” from superstition and dogma. picking up from his superstition-reason distinction in the root of all evil? (while recycling some footage from it), he then says reason is facing an “epidemic of superstition” that “impoverishes our culture” and introduces gurus that persuade us “to run away from reality”. he calls the present day “dangerous times”. he returns to science’s achievements, including the fact that, by extending our lifespan, it helps us to better appreciate its ‘other’ achievements. he turns his attention to astrology, which he criticisms for stereotyping without evidence, and he tries an experiment in which 20 people of various star signs is asked if the verdict for capricorn applies to them, while being told it is their ‘own` star sign. the result was that the one capricorn person did not believe it, but some of the others did. dawkins is warned against the experiment by the astrologer neil spencer, and dawkins tells him he is in a no-lose situation. “i hope so, yes”, replies spencer. having put astrology to the test and referred to larger-scale experiments, he then talks about the real beauty in astronomy, and then expresses frustration that 50% of the uk population – more than are members of one religion – believe in the paranormal. he then visits a palm reader, simon goodfellow, who makes statements dawkins interprets as referring to retirement – which most people his age would soon be going in for, but not importantly dawkins himself – and cornell then finds himself in contradiction over whether or not the “spirit g” is a family member. cornell next tries suggesting this spirit was in the military – again, typical of deceased relatives of people dawkins’ age, but not of dawkins. cornell finishes with several explanations of why his powers might not always work, but dawkins insists extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and then talks to the skeptical derren brown about cold reading, including misdirective tricks it uses. part 2
10. you've got a hole in your head. 9. your master strangles you all the time. 8. your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body. 7. you shrink in cold water. 6. you never get a haircut. 5. you always hang around with 2 nuts. 4. your closest neighbour is an asshole. 3. your best friend is a pussy. 2. your scalp gets cut off if you're jewish.
and the number one reason why it sucks to be a penis:
1. every time you get excited, you throw up.
1. they always wear protection 2. they have great hands 3. they are used to scoring 4. they have great stamina 5. they find the opening and get it in 6. they never miss the target 7. they know how to use their wood 8. they have long sticks 9.they know when to play rough 10. because baseball players only know how to hit balls.
for the sake of argument, we all can agree that in the context of iraq, several countries, most notably the u.s., entered into war based on faulty intelligence.
but that was only one factor. regardless of whether saddam presently had weapons of mass death, we know that the baghdad butcher was a mass murderer, and we know that hussein had been in flagrant violation of his terms of surrender, violating international law. the man deserved to be removed from office, did he not? so long as certain members of the u.n. security council were on the payroll, however, hussein thought he was safe.
full story
1. you have to take out the garbage. 2. the ferrari 550 maranello lists for over $200,000. 3. no sofas in your restrooms. 4. external genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs. 5. even if you get you head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry. 6. james bond movies only come out every 2 years. 7. ribbed for her pleasure - not yours. 8. you have to wear ties. 9. you can't flirt your way out of a jam. 10. "women and children first."
1. phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. you know stuff about tanks. 4. a 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. monday night football. 6. you don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. 7. your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. you can open all your own jars. 9. old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight. 10. dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. 11. when clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying. 12. your butt is never a factor in job interviews. 13. all your orgasms are real. 14. a beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex. 15. guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards). 16. you don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. 17. you understand why stripes is funny. 18. you can go to the bathroom without a support group. 19. your last name stays put. 20. you can leave the hotel bed unmade. 21. when your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. 22. you can kill your own food. 23. the garage is all yours. 24. you get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 25. you see the humour in terms of endearment. 26. nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow. 27. you never have to clean a toilet. 28. you can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. yup!!!! 29. sex means never worrying about your reputation. 30. wedding plans take care of themselves. 31. if someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. 32. your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 33. the national college cheerleading championship. 34. you don't have to shave below your neck. 35. none of your coworkers has the power to make you cry. 36. you don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. 37. if you're 34 and single, nobody even notices. 38. you can write your name in the snow. 39. you can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. 40. everything on your face gets to stay its original color. 41. chocolate is just another snack. 42. you can be president. (in this lifetime.) 43. you can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 44. flowers fix everything. 45. you never have to worry about other people's feelings. 46. you get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. 47. you can wear a white shirt to a water park. 48. three pairs of shoes is more than enough. 49. you can eat a banana in a hardware store. 50. you can say anything ("wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think. 51. foreplay is optional. 52. michael bolton doesn't live in your universe. 53. nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. 54. you can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 55. you don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by. 56. you never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. 57. car mechanics tell you the truth. 58. you don't give a rat's butt if anyone notices your new haircut. 59. you can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking he must be mad at me. 60. the world is your urinal. 61. you never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you. 62. you get to jump up and slap stuff. 63. hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 64. one mood, all the time 65. you can admire clint eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. 66. you never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy. 67. you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. 68. you can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing. 69. same work...more pay! 70. gray hair and wrinkles only add character. 71. you don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. 72. wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75. 73. you don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back. 74. with 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. 75. you don't mooch off others' desserts. 76. if you retain water, it's in a canteen. 77. the remote control is yours and yours alone. 78. people never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 79. espn's sportscenter. 80. you can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. 81. bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers. 82. you have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. 83. you can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. 84. you needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. 85. if you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed. 86. someday you'll be a dirty old man. 87. you can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "screw it." 88. if another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies. 89. princess di's death was just another obituary. 90. the occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 91. you never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood. 92. you think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. 93. if something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room. 94. new shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet. 95. porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. 96. you don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. 97. not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them. 98. your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "so...notice anything different?" 99. baywatch 100. there's always a game on somewhere.
looks like someone forgot to take why not to cheat 101
party hard!!! i love beer and crazy music.
better sleep. a sexier physique. stronger immunity. sound like the effects of the latest wonder drug? nope, it's just the many physical benefits of having a satisfying sexual relationship. and all this time you were just making love because it was fun! if you're looking for more reasons to get romantic, consider the following: you're getting a good workout. would you rather run 75 miles or have sex three times a week for one year? while both burn the same number of calories (about 7,500), one is decidedly more pleasurable than the other. regular sex - which burns approximately 150 calories in a half-hour -- is regular exercise. you'll have all the same benefits of spending that time in the gym, including improved circulation, lower cholesterol and the release of feel-good endorphins. you won't get sick. according to research by dr. carl charnetski, professor of psychology at wilkes university in wilkes-barre, pa and co-author of feeling good is good for you, people who reported one or two sexual episodes per week enjoyed higher levels of immunoglobin a, the antibody that helps fend of illness. you'll feel happier. in addition to the obvious boost in satisfaction, feeling secure in your relationship leads to a greater sense of well-being. women in particular may see even more benefits. researchers at the state university of new york at albany found that women who regularly came into contact with semen were significantly less depressed than those who didn't get a dose of those potent sex hormones and naturally occurring opiates. you'll reduce stress. people who get it on regularly report that they handle stress better. the release of climax will get even the most anxious lover totally relaxed, and you know you'll sleep better. you'll live longer (and look younger!). a british study of 1,000 men found that those who had at least two orgasms per week had half the death rate of those who indulged less than once a month. sex can make you look younger, too, according to neuropsychologist david weeks, who found that men and women who reported having sex an average of four times per week looked approximately 10 years younger than they really were.
ford motor co. has ordered dealers to stop selling the new super duty pickup with the 6.4-liter diesel engine. they,ve recalled more than 37,000 of the 2008 f-series trucks after reported tailpipe fires in the diesel version of the pickups.
1. new masturbation materialwe all like to think naughty things go on in the women’s jail. add paris hilton to that fantasy and you got pure masturbation goodness. in my world, it has already happened…2. that old monster jealousynot everyone can be born rich. for those of us who weren’t, it’s always fun to see a spoiled little cunt forced to spend some time in the big house. it’s wrong, i know. wait, no it isn’t. i hope she gets raped.3. she could use three meals a daythey feed you in jail. paris looks like she could use some nourishment. i’m sure a few soggy bologna sandwiches could put a little meat on that boney ass. she might even get buff hanging in the yard as long as she doesn’t get shanked.4. think of the dogs that will be saved!somewhere, a small dog is counting the days until he can escape the pink purse he calls his own personal hell. sure, he is nice to her now. wait till she is gone. his plan is to piss all over her room and hit the road. if you happen to see a chihuahua wandering the streets with a huge, unnatural smile on his face; give him a dog biscuit. he deserves it.5. her porn suckedshe should do 30 days for that alone. there was so much potential there that was just squandered. the first part of the damn thing bordered on raccoon porn. how many guys downloaded it only to lose their erection when she answered the phone? karma is a bitch, paris. you deserve what you get. don’t ever fuck with the collective erection of the world wide web. 6. so the media will shut up about heri can’t be the only one sick of hearing about her. who are these people that call themselves reporters writing all these stories? are they minions of the hilton family? if you thought anna nicole was done to death, (ha!)… you know, i don’t even have a second part to this sentence. it doesn’t need one.7. the off-chance i might see her picking up trash just the thought of a picture of paris with a shitty diaper on the end of a stick is enough to make me piss in my wolverine boxers. 8. knowing she will have to clean a toiletthat’s right; in jail they make you clean your own toilet. nothing in this world would be funnier than seeing paris polishing a pooh-pot in the penn. say that five times fast.9. i just really hate herand you know you do too. remember, there is no shame in hating paris hilton. it is our nature to hate her kind. by “our’ i mean “human” and by "her kind" i mean dirty whores.
this is an impressive video
1. it tries to keep boobies hidden awayi need to see boobies. without them life pretty much isn’t worth living. if islam is your religion of choice, you might as well toss in the towel son, the boob train doesn’t stop at your station. personally, i would not join any religion that can’t promise me many nude women in the very near future.2. no bacon? bacon is the greatest stuff in the world. no food in this universe matches its immense flavor. i have said this before and i will stand by it to my death: never trust a man who doesn’t love bacon. it is the essence all chi derives energy from. without it, the earth would stop spinning and careen into the sun. we would all die and it would suck. 3. praying three times a day is annoyingi don’t know about you, but i don’t like having to pray even once ever, forget about three times a day. most of us don’t have that kind of time. and what happens if you screw up and pray in the wrong direction? (allah must have a condo in the east) does the village get to stone you? 4. there was only one mohammed, and his name was ali…i will recognize the existence of no other! if this guy they talk about didn’t knock out george foreman in the rumble in the jungle, then i don’t want to hear how great he was. 5. it doesn’t teach you kung fuif you feel the need to join a religion, make sure it is one that will teach you kung fu. any religion that shows you how to kick ass to protect your inner peace is a good and sensible one. to be clear, strapping a bomb to yourself and blowing people up is not kung fu. 6. it doesn’t recognize the greatness of captain americathis is a problem with a lot of religions out there; they hate freedom. steve rogers stood for everything that was good about the human character. (stuff like killing nazis, drinking milk, and killing more nazis) he beat down the hulk on many occasions. there is no debate here: he is a god if there ever was one.7. muslims do not make a good dark alethey don’t even make a decent cheap pilsner. when i see stuff like that from people it makes me wonder what the hell they are doing with their time. not making beer… that’s for sure. i, for one, am just not sure i could live in a society that does not spend a decent allotment of time creating quality beer. it’s just not how things should work.8. a muslim guy jewed me once…there are so many things wrong with that statement. i have indeed taken things too far this time. no amount of explaining can atone for that sentence. it describes itself, and some may believe the author as well. before you even think it, i will admit to being a dirty racist bastard for even thinking number 8 up and go about my business with number 9…9. it lies about the virgin thing…and even if it doesn’t, what the fuck are you going to do with 72 virgins anyways? i would rather have 72 whores who know how to ride the cock. besides, you would be dead by that time, so it wouldn’t matter anyways. if they could offer such a deal without the death part, they would sell a lot more tickets to mecca.note to muslim people: i don’t hate your religion any more or less than i hate all the religions in this world. except, of course, buddhism and the good folks who practice voodoo and santeria.
1. your beer is not better than ours i hate to be the one to break this to the germans, but colorado has better beer. here is a link to a list of colorado breweries.. there should be no more argument on this subject. if so, the rules state there has to be a drink-off. it will be me and some chicks versus some foreign guy and some chicks. challenger buys. 2. your chicks may be skinnier, but ours have bigger boobs boobs are what matter the most. don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. although i do agree that brazil kicks america’s ass when it comes to hot chicks... and european women are much more open about sex... and most foreign women like american dudes while the opposite is true here... wait, there was a point here and i think i broke it... 3. fuck soccer girls play soccer. it’s not called football, it is called soccer. there is a reason the vince lombardi trophy is not awarded to the winner of the world cup. vince was a man who only stood for man stuff, like football and running until you pee blood. soccer players don’t pee blood. they pee horseradish. i’ve seen it... 4. red foreman was an american so were thomas jefferson, the rock, hunter s thompson, and richard pryor. don’t get me wrong, there are cool guys in the rest of the world. just not as many. what’s that you say? you don’t think the rock belongs on that list? the rock wipes a monkey’s ass with what you think. oh yeah, and we’re taking sean connery. i claim him for america. don’t dispute me. i’ll sick my monkey on you bastards! 5. 90% of the time, your country sucks worse than ours i always find it funny when some asshole starts yammering on about how america sucks and when you ask him where he lives he says some shit like “france”. france has no room to talk about anyone else. at least the united states doesn’t have rioting going on in the streets and stupid guys named “pierre” walking around drinking wine and speaking french. maybe we do, but those guys get their asses kicked here. unless they are canadians, in which case it’s best to leave them alone during hockey season. 6. your leaders don’t stand up to bush… we don’t allow dictators to terrorize the rest of the world, so why does the rest of the world stand idly by and allow them to terrorize us? a sarcastic thanks goes out for all the actual help the rest of the world has given us agaisnt bush. i guess taking out that hitler guy must have been a freebie or something... speaking of hitler... 7. wwi and ii we stopped the germans from taking over the world. twice. this earth would be a lot worse of a place if it weren’t for the usa. german beer for all? we already discussed that in the first entry. shizer porn everywhere? i’ll pass. the rest of the world can go ahead though; america is not here to judge. 8. freedom not everybody has freedom. when someone doesn’t have freedom, they get mad at america for having it. what they don’t know is we get searched by cops for no reason, harassed by airport security at every turn, and lied to by our officials about everything they know. people without freedom: don’t hate america! we don’t have freedom either. 9. in the end, we are all products of the rest of the world anyways... only the native americans have no roots somewhere in the rest of the world. if anyone should be hating people in this world, it should be the god damn indians hating the rest of the world for what they sent over here. look at the mess you people caused over here. it used to be a nice forest. shame...
self burn.
first of all, if you are one of those self-important assholes who does not know how to take a joke, fuck off right now. that’s right, fuck off. see the door right over there? of course not, because you are fucking off right now. the rest of us thank you.9 reasons why i fucking love sluts…1. they don’t bitch for attentionif you happen to miss calling them one time, it is not the end of the world. they will just be fucking someone else. we know this, so this is our choice. just wear a fucking condom, like you should have been doing in the first place.2. you don’t have to fake ityes, guys fake it too. why? because we are sick of fucking. it happens. if we don’t get a nut in the first two hours, we are not going to bust one. we know this. so we fake it. sorry honey. when a slut is on your nuts, you are almost guaranteed a bust, because she knows how to bring you there. 3. you don’t have to worry about them cheating on youbecause they are fucking a few different guys during the same period they are fucking you. who gives a shit? pussy is pussy. stop bitching about it and be happy you are having sex. you could be jacking off on the internet four fucking times a day. not that you don’t anyways, but still…4. they don’t just lay therea slut can take the cock. for christ sakes, she can take two at the same time if you talk to her right. they like sex. often times, they ride the cock like a god damn matador, red flag and all. if they don’t, they are not real sluts. they do not deserve the name. 5. no relationship bullshitwe all know we don’t give two shits what a woman says. why the fuck do we want to listen to it and have to act like we do? sluts are easy. they take the pounding and leave, without trying to get you to express your “feelings”. feelings are fucking stupid anyways. 6. you can fuck other girls all the other girls. you know why? because she is probably fucking your friends. this means it doesn’t matter if you fuck her friends. don’t be a bitch and cry about it, because it is what you want. if it is not what you want, you should probably check your ass, because some guy probably has a dick in it right now.7. it will teach you to wear condomsyou should be doing this in the first place. kids cost a shit load of money. i am telling you because i know. not only did little zero want a psp for his birthday, his mom wanted child support. ever paid 500$ for a psp? i have. learn from me and be happy you did. 8. you will not have to remember an anniversarybecause no one cares. she doesn’t give two shits if you remember the first drunken night that you slept with her. maybe you didn’t even sleep. maybe you just scrogged her and went home. she won’t expect a box of chocolates on that day. just fuck her again. 9. because they are slutsthey are the few women who can stand up and say “i like sex just as much as males”. that is fucking awesome. you other women could learn something from these chicks. stop being so stuck up. admit you like the cock and just let us give it to you.
leaving off the most important reason we need them; the vagina. 1. internet porn / masturbationwe have too much readily available porn to worry about women anymore. blondes, brunettes, redheads, they are all here. good luck finding a woman who will dye her hair and fuck a donkey for your amusement every odd thursday night. also remember this; your hand will never, (unless you are into some sick shit that none of us ever want to know about) cheat on you. 2. we can feel bad about our lives all by ourselvesyes, we all know exactly how long we have been on the computer or playing that new video game we just bought. we know because the woman next to us won’t shut the fuck up about it. we also know that we probably need a new job and should start giving thought to our future soon. telling us constantly will not make us give any more of a shit.3. we don’t need anymore reasons to drinkour sporting teams give us enough of those. if they aren’t around, our friends are there for backup. a drunk who is drinking over a woman is the saddest kind of creature. seeing that is like watching the twin towers fall; it hurts the heart. it is never fun being around those guys either. how many parties have been ruined by the sad drunk, i ask? and how long we allow this douchebaggery to continue?!4. feelings are fucking stupiddon’t give me shit for this; i’m just stating what every other man is thinking. does anyone ever wonder why it is so hard for a man to get in touch with his feminine side? because it is not fucking natural. men are meant to be unthinking, unfeeling, brutish bastards. embrace your destiny. go pee on something and claim it as yours.5. you can’t trust a womanif anyone ever told you that you could, it was probably a woman and she was lying to you. don’t believe me? check your mouth for a hook and a piece of meat, because you have been reeled in buddy. free yourselves, brothers, before you end up as shark chum on the end of some stupid whore’s rich-man fishing line.6. female logic is not scientificit is downright absurd in most cases. i mean, seriously, from a race of humanoids that carry around tiny dogs in pink purses, everything must be taken with a grain of salt. the questions they ask are foolish and often leave the men who are subjected to it dumbfounded. we don’t refrain from answering because we don’t know, we don’t answer because idiocy is contagious. 7. women worry about the stupidest shit“don’t go outside, it’s cold!” fuck that, not as cold as your iced-over heart. it never ceases to amaze me the way a woman will drag a man’s very soul through the depths of hell then still worry about his physical well-being. what the fuck? leave us alone to die if we want to, bitch. no, wait… i get it now. you would rather have us suffer until were old. devious indeed. 8. domestication = cutting off your ballsjust like a horse that has been beaten everyday for years; a man too can have his spirit broken. we all know men who were once wild party animals that have now become lame house husbands. i have many friends like this. it is almost like they have died. i’ll miss you guys. 9. you’re better off alone anywaysno one needs a girlfriend. in the words of foamy, our great lord and master, “having a girlfriend does not make you cool.” if you are one of those people who need a significant other to make you feel “complete”, kill yourself now. it is a far less cruel fate than the one you are walking blindly into right now.note to women; this is all a big joke.
1- dogs don't shop. 2- dogs never expect gifts. 3- dogs love it when your friends come over. 4- dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late. 5- the later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you. 6- dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 7- dogs don't notice if you call them by other names. 8- dogs never want foot rubs. 9- dogs are excited by rough play. 10- dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. 11- it's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. 12- dogs never need to examine a relationship. 13- dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives. 14- a dog's disposition stays the same all month long. 15- a dog's parents never drop in to visit. 16- dogs love long car rides. 17- dogs understand that instincts are better than stopping for directions. 18- dogs like beer. 19- no dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. 20- dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
an english band. this is from their eponymous album in 2004.
