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source: shoutwire.com: i have compiled what i think are the greatest motorcycle quotes found throughout various sources. none of these quotes are mine, but i plan on coming up with my own personal bike quotes for another editorial. my bike has been in the shop for about 2 weeks, which can account for the feverish inspiration.
anonymous people:
"i'd rather be riding my motorcycle thinking about god than sitting in church thinking about my motorcycle."
"four wheels move the body. two wheels move the soul."
"you start the game with a full pot o’ luck and an empty pot o’ experience...
the object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck."
"never trade the thrills of living for the security of existence."
"a cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles."
"sometimes it takes a whole tankful of fuel before you can think straight."
"keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking."
"the best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome."
"if you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride."
"catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary."
"well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck."
"sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes."
"when you're riding lead, don't spit."
"safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy."
"never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly."
"if you ride like there's no tomorrow, there won't be."
"if you really want to know what’s going on, watch what’s happening at least five [vehicles] ahead."
"if the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them."
"a friend is someone who’ll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you’re broken down."
"if she changes her oil more than she changes her mind, follow her."
"if you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can’t stop at every tavern."
"a good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel."
"everyone crashes. some get back on. some don't. some can't."
"respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived."
notable people:
"faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death..." - hunter thompson
"there are only three sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting, and motor racing. all the rest are merely games." - ernest hemingway
"a zest for living must include a willingness to die." - r.a. heinlein
"people are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs." - alexei sayle
"i carry groceries home on the tank of my motorcycle." - stephan jenkins
"if i'm out trail-riding, i have a favorite motorcycle. riding on the road, i've got a favorite.
if i'm jumping, i have a favorite, and if i'm racing, i have a favorite." - evel knievel
"riding a motorcycle on today's highways, you have to ride in a very defensive manner. you have to be a good rider and you have to have both hands and both feet on the controls at all times." - evel knievel
"when i was 21, i got into a motorcycle accident while traveling in europe and i had to lie around a lot in the aftermath, which was really the first time in my life that i became really focused and inspired to write." - chantal kreviazuk
"and i to my motorcycle parked like the soul of the junkyard restored, a bicycle fleshed with power, and tore off up highway 106 continually drunk on the wind in my mouth wringing the handlebar for speed wild to be wreckage forever." - james dickey
Video:
stephen fry: welcome to qi, the closest modern equivalent to lions versus christians.
stephen fry: how do otters kill crocodiles?
rob brydon: softly with their songs.
stephen fry: what is attractive about the costa rican army?
jo brand: they have a pulse.
[during a discussion on the future of aviation, stephen remarks that the flight crew of the future will consist of one pilot and a dog]
stephen fry: the job of the pilot will be to feed the dog. the job of the dog is to bite the pilot if he tries to touch anything.
[advice on airline food]
stephen fry: anything white is sweet, anything brown is meat, anything grey, don't eat.
stephen fry: [quoting boxer alan minter] sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none have been serious.
stephen fry: [quoting albert einstein] only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity, and i'm not so sure about the universe.
stephen fry: if ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world?
[the contestants are discussing elephants]
alan davies: do they take it down the trunk?
clive anderson: after a few drinks, they'll take it anywhere.
clive anderson: i'm fascinated that hair grows after death, i'm looking forward to that.
sean lock: banana plants, whatever they're called, walk.
stephen fry: [looking off-stage] nurse, nurse, he's out of bed again.
stephen fry: if a lion mates with a tiger, you get a...?
alan davies: scandal.
rich hall: [after being informed that earth has a second moon called "cruithne"] so why is there not one romantic song with the word cruithne in it? blue cruithne of kentucky? or cruithne river? or...
alan davies: no one can see it, it's miles away.
stephen fry: because it was discovered in
[shouts]
stephen fry: nineteen-ninety-fucking-four!
stephen fry: welcome to the show that refreshes the parts other shows doesn't even have names for.
stephen fry: have you met any american jeremy?
jeremy clarkson: no, it's too complicated - three syllables.
jeremy clarkson: [recounting a trip to amsterdam] i walked into a brothel on saturday.
stephen fry: you heard it here first, folks.
jeremy clarkson: it was like a motorway services station toilet.
alan davies: that must have been a welcome break.
stephen fry: what's the collective noun for a group of baboons?
rich hall: the pentagon.
stephen fry: [signing off] and as they say in ireland, may you get to heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you're dead.
stephen fry: this is turning into the most appaling primary school nonsense.
sean lock: this is like the early learning centre.
[stephen admits to asking a trick question about the birth of a historical figure]
stephen fry: there was nothing unusual about the birth.
[points to alan]
stephen fry: we just wanted laughing boy to fall into our cunning trap.
stephen fry: [holding his clenched left fist out in front of him] if i had a moth ball in this hand and a moth ball in that hand,
[bringing out his right fist] what have i got?
alan davies: two moth balls?
stephen fry: no, a very excited moth.
rich hall: doctors use acronyms, such as gomer - get out of my emergency room, or sara - sexual activity related accident.
stephen fry: there is one that doctors use in my part of the world which is nfn - normal for norfolk.
stephen fry: why is a marathon 26 miles, 385 yards long?
alan davies: i feel a trap coming on.
rich hall: you can develop film in the lee river, but you can't kayak in it.
stephen fry: what is the commonest material in the world?
clive anderson: jim davidson.
stephen fry: welcome to qi, the show that rhymes with stephen fry.
alan davies: i am *not* as stupid as you think!
stephen fry: no, you're not, you couldn't be.
stephen fry: what's long and pink and hard in the morning?
[pause]
stephen fry: "the financial times'" crossword.
stephen fry: [during an odd one out question] none of them is the odd one out is the answer. do you know why?
phill jupitus: what kind of a hellish quiz is this?
stephen fry: fair point.
phill jupitus: "what one's the odd one out? none of them. baah, bah, bah, bah."
stephen fry: hey. is that me?
phill jupitus: that's you.
stephen fry: oh bugger you. i don't sound like that. baah, bah, bah.
stephen fry: [after stating the thomas eddison invented the word hello] the word that existed before as "hullo" h-u-l-l-o, which never meant a greeting, it just meant an expression of surprise - "hullo, what have we got here?" "hullo, what's this?" we still use it in that sense.
bill bailey: do we?
stephen fry: "hullo, what's that?" ... don't we, bill?
bill bailey: yes. yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. i often go to my fridge, "hullo, we're out of milk. i say mother, where's the milk?"
stephen fry: you beast, you beast, you utter, utter beast.
stephen fry: [regarding a village in the mountains of nuremberg, germany] now what did this village provide the whole world with for more than a hundred consecutive christmases?
sean lock: war criminals.
sean lock: the american cat's eyes break every time you go over them.
stephen fry: do you know why that is?
sean lock: because they're shit.
Video:
the reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -anonymous
don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -ann landers
a dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -robert benchley
anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -franklin p. jones
if your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -unknown
my dog is worried about the economy because alpo is up to $3.00 a can. that's almost $21.00 in dog money. -joe weinstein
ever consider what our dogs must think of us? i mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. they must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -anne tyler
women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -robert a. heinlein
speak softly and own a big, mean doberman. -dave miliman
you can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'wow, you're right! i never would've thought of that!' -dave barry
dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -roger caras
if you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving fido only two of them. -phil pastoret
my goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks i am.
Video:
"god gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
"never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."
"we had gay burglars the other night. they broke in and rearranged the furniture."
"reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
"do you think god gets stoned? i think so . . . look at the platypus."
"in england, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. if you commit a crime, the police will say "stop, or i'll say stop again.""
"we americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities."
"if women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
"politics: “poli” a latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”."
"people say satire is dead. it's not dead; it's alive and living in the white house."
"my god. we've had cloning in the south for years. it's called cousins."
"i like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out."
"ah, yes, divorce ... from the latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
"when in doubt, go for the dick joke."
