Search Results for “quick”
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Video:
kids are quick, out of the mouth of little kids.
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teacher: maria, go to the map and find north america.
maria: here it is.
teacher: correct. now class, who discovered america?
class: maria.
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teacher: why are you late, frank?
frank: because of the sign..
teacher: what sign?
frank: the one that says, "school ahead, go slow."
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teacher: john, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
john: you told me to do it without using tables.
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teacher: glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
glenn: k-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l
teacher: no, that's wrong.
glenn: maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how i spell it.
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teacher: donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
donald: h i j k l m n o.
teacher: what are you talking about?
donald: yesterday you said it's h to o.
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teacher: winnie, name one important thing we have to day that we didn't have ten years ago.
winnie: me!
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teacher: glen, why do you always get so dirty?
glen well, i'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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teacher: millie, give me a sentence starting with "i."
millie: i is. . .
teacher: no, millie..... always say, "i am."
millie: all right... "i am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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teacher: george washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. now, louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
louis: because george still had the ax in his hand.
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teacher: simon, do you say prayers before eating?
simon: no sir, i don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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teacher: clyde, your composition on "my dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. did you copy his?
clyde: no, teacher, it's the same dog.
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teacher: harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
harold: a teacher
Video:
q: which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
a: ask your mom.
q: what is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
a: say, "nice dick."
q: how do you know you're leading a sad life?
a: when a nymphomaniac tells you, "let's just be friends."
q: what do you get when you cross billy ray cyrus and a yeast infection?
a: an itchy, twitchy twat.
q: are birth control pills deductible?
a: only if they don't work.
q: what did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
a: if we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.
q: why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
a: because they have cotton balls.
q: what do you get when you cross an owl and a rooster?
a: a cock that stays up all night.
q: mom's have mother's day, father's have father's day. what do single guys have?
a: palm sunday
q: why is being in the military like a blowjob?
a: the closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
q: what has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
a: a bingo machine.
q: what is the leading cause of death with lesbians?
a: hair balls
q: how do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?
a: you see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive
q: what can life savers do that men cannot?
a: come in five flavours
q: what is good on pizza but bad on pussy?
a: crust
q: why does miss piggy douche with honey?
a: because kermit likes sweet and sour pork
q: how do you piss off winnie the pooh?
a: by sticking your finger in his honey
q: what does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
a: both can smell it... but they can't eat it
q: what do you do with 365 used rubbers?
a: melt them down, make a tire, and call it a goodyear.
q: what's the speed limit of sex?
a: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
q: why is air a lot like sex?
a: because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
q: why did frosty the snowman pull down his pants?
a: he heard the snow blower coming.
q: why are monica lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
a: she's withholding evidence
q: why is sex like a bridge game?
a: you don't need a partner if you have a good hand.
q: what does a dog do that a boy steps into?
a: a lump of shit. no wait.. pants.
q: how do you get a nun pregnant?
a: dress her up as an altar boy
q: what do you call an amish farmer with his arm halfway up his horses ass?
a: a mechanic
q: why did the elephant paint his balls red?
a: so he could hide in the cherry tree.
q: what is the loudest noise in the jungle?
a: a giraffe eating cherries.
q: why does santa have such a big sack?
a: cos he only comes once a year.
q: how do you define a "tough girl"
a: she kickstarts her own vibrator, or she rolls her own tampons
q: what do you get if you cross a nun with a computer?
a: a system that won't go down.
