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Video:

two old pensioners...

two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.

sitting at a café, the little old man says, "remember the first time i met you over 50 years ago? we left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and i gave you one from behind."

"why, yes, i remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.

"well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and i'll give you one from behind."

the two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. a young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. he gets up and follows them. sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. the little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.

the old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. the little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.

well, the man is stunned. never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.

reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "i have to know his secret. if only i could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"

the two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.

he says, "sir, in all my life i have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. what's your secret? could you shag like that 50 years ago?"

the pensioner replies, "son, 50 years ago, that fucking fence wasn't electrified."

• 3.6948/5
• 2685
• 5
• 12/24/2005
• by NikNak

Video:

pensioner gives everything to charity

an 85-year-old hungarian is living on the streets after giving up his home and life savings to a children's hospital.

joe csarmaz now lives in a cardboard box after selling his house and all his possessions to buy x-ray and heart scanning machines.

he raised £100,000 for the tuzolto utca childrens' clinic in budapest where he used to work before he retired.

mr csarmaz said: "i feel sad for those children who can not live a full life because they are sick. i have lived 85 years, and now i think it is their turn to be happy.

"that is why i do not mind living in absolute poverty, knowing that at least they'll be better off."

source, source

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• 4.7267/5
• 1639
• 24
• 9/25/2008
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

teenager pans pensioners

a 14 year-old teenager from the moscow region city of volokolamsk has beaten his grandmother and her friend up with frying pan, russian website life.ru reports.

a paroxysm of rage seized artem, when his 67 year-old grandmother zoya was loudly discussing the new details of a beloved tv serial with her friend, a 70 year-old sofia.

the angry teenager repeatedly told them that they were preventing him from falling asleep. however, the old ladies only rebuked the boy for insolence.

according to the report, artem could not take the criticism from his grandmother and knocked her out with the first thing he could seize in the kitchen. unfortunately for the woman it was a heavy frying pan. after that the infuriated teenager struck the other old lady, who was knocked out immediately.

having dealt sharply with the obstacles obstructing his way to morpheus's kingdom, artem went to his room and dropped off to sleep.

when the teenager’s grandmother came to her senses she called the police.

not long afterwards the old ladies were taken to hospital, where doctors say their condition is in not life threatening.

the delinquint artem is awaiting the end of a preliminary investigation.

source

• 4.6152/5
• 1231
• 11
• 7/22/2009
• by bajaboy

Video:

pensioner fails school exams for 38th year

a pensioner has failed his high school exams for the 38th consecutive time - but vowed to continue taking the tests until he dies.

shiv charan, 74, learned last week that he had failed in all but one subject in this year's tests.

despite devoting his life to passing india's year 10 exams, he scored just 14 per cent in english, 17 per cent in science, 5 per cent in mathematics and 25 per cent in sanskrit.

he only managed to scrape a pass in hindi, scoring 34 per cent.

shiv charan first took the exam in 1969, after vowing not to marry until he had passed, and has entered every year except two since.

he has remained true to his word and is still single, which is now his main motivation.

"as long as i am alive i will go on giving examinations in order to get a wife," he said.

despite failing across the board he blames mathematics for his poor performance.

"though this time i failed in almost all the subjects except hindi, it's the mathematics paper that always drags me down," he said.

asked if he was ready to give up his quest, he said: "better to die than go back on your word.

"it is not in my nature to change. i will fulfil my commitment and continue taking the board examinations till i pass, no matter how long it takes.

"for me, success is not merely about clearing the examinations. it will also throw open the doors of marriage."

lovingly known as pappu by his 15-year-old classmates, he says he has no regrets about the odd situation he faces every year in the examination halls. "sometimes invigilators throw me out of the examination halls on the pretext that i am the guardian of a student.

"whenever i go to the exam centre, people converge in hordes to see me," he said.

when asked which girl he would like to marry, if he clears the examination next year, pappu said: "only a girl below 30 will be my wife."

he is a little hard of hearing and age has slowed him down. while he is too weak to continue farming, he has enough stamina to take another exam. a die-hard optimist, pappu has already started preparing for next year's examination.

"we really want him to pass the examination," said a neighbour in the desert state of rajasthan.

"he is probably the worst student in the world but god has tested him a lot, now luck should smile on him."

source

• 4.5578/5
• 1560
• 19
• 7/15/2008
• by bajaboy