Search Results for “nun”
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Video:
it was friday, and four nuns went to the priest at the local catholic church to ask for the weekend off. they argued back and forth for a few minutes. finally the priest agreed to let them leave the convent for the weekend.
"however", he said, "as soon as you get back monday morning i want you to confess to me what you did over the weekend." the four nuns agree, and run off.
monday comes, and the four nuns return. the first nun goes to the priest and says, "forgive me, father, for i have sinned." the priest asks, "what did you do, sister?" she replies, "i watched an r-rated movie." the priest looks up at heaven for a few seconds, then replies, "you are forgiven. go and drink the holy water."
the first nun leaves, and the fourth nun begins to chuckle quietly under her breath. the second nun then goes up to the priest and says, "forgive me, father, for i have sinned." the priest replies, "ok, what happened?" she says, "i was driving my brother's car down the street in front of his house, and i hit a neighbors dog and killed it."
the priest looks up to heaven for half a minute, then says, "you are forgiven. go and drink the holy water." the second nun goes out. by this time, the fourth nun is laughing quite audibly.
then the third nun walks to the priest and says, "forgive me, father, for i have sinned." the priest asks, "out with it. what did you do?" she says, "last night, i ran naked up and down main street."
the priest looks up at heaven for a full five minutes before responding, "god forgives you. go and drink the holy water." she leaves.
the fourth nun falls on the floor, laughing so hard tears run down her cheeks. the priest asks her, "ok. what did you do that was so darn funny?"
the fourth nun replies, "i peed in the holy water..."
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12/24/2005- by NikNak
Video:
a nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. they set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. soon the camel died.
after several days of not being rescued, they agreed that they were not going to be rescued. they prayed a lot (of course), and they discussed their predicament in great depth.
finally the priest said to the nun, "you know, sister, i am about to die, and there's always been one thing i've wanted here on earth to see a woman naked. would you mind taking off your clothes so i can look at you?"
the nun thought about his request for several seconds and then agreed to take off her clothes. as she was doing so, she remarked, "well, father, now that i think about it, i've never seen a man naked, either. would you mind taking off your clothes, too?"
with little hesitation, the priest also stripped.
suddenly the nun exclaimed, "father! what is that little thing hanging between your legs?"
the priest patiently answered, "that, my child, is a gift from god. if i put it in you, it creates a new life."
"well," responded the nun, "forget about me. stick it in the camel and lets get the hell out of here!"
Video:
a man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign
out of the corner of his eye.....
it reads:
sisters of st. francis
house of prostitution
10 miles
he thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on without a
second thought.....
soon he sees another sign, which says:
sisters of st. francis
house of prostitution
5 miles
suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real....
then he drives past a third sign saying:
sisters of st. francis
house of prostitution
next right
his curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive....
on the side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next
to the door reading:
sisters of st. francis
he climbs the steps and rings the bell.... the door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "what may we do for you, my son?"
he answers, "i saw your ! signs along the highway, and was interested in
possibly doing business.".....
"very well my son. please follow me."
he is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented....
the nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "please knock on this
door".............
he does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup
answers the door.....this nun instructs, "please place $100 in the cup
then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway".......
he gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup....
he trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut
behind him........
as the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot,
facing another small sign:.........
go in peace.
you have just been screwed
by the sisters of st. francis.
serves you right, you sinner
Video:
a priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. after a while, they came upon a small cabin. being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep. there was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed.
being a gentleman, the priest said, "sister, you sleep on the bed. i'll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag."
just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said "father, i'm cold." he unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got the blanket and put it on her.
once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, "father, i'm still very cold."
he unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again. just as his eyes closed, she said, "father, i'm sooooo cold."
this time, he remained there and said, "sister, i have an idea. we're out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. let's pretend we're married."
the nun said, "that's fine by me."
to which the priest yelled out, "get up and get your own stupid blanket!"
