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a doctor in newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. "garge, i'm going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. i want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients." "yes, sir!" answers garge. the doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "so garge, how was your day?" garge told him that he took care of three patients. "the first one had a headache so i gave him tylenol." "bravo mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "the second one had stomach burning and i gave him maalox, sir" says garge. "bravo, bravo! you're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor. "sir, i was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. like a flame she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: "help me! for five years i have not seen a man!" "and what did you do garge?" asks the doctor. "i put drops in her eyes"
two newfie hunters got a pilot to fly them from st john's up to labrador to hunt moose. they were quite successful and bagged six of them.
as they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could only take 4 moose.
the two lads strongly objected saying, "last year we also shot 6 and the pilot let us put them all on board, and it was also the exact same type of plane with the exact same capacity.
reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all 6 were loaded. however, upon take-off the little plane couldn't make it and they crashed in the wilderness.
climbing out of the wreck one newfie asked the other, "do you know where we are?"
"yup! " said the second one, "i think it's pretty close to where we crashed last year."
