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Video:Married with Children - Married ... with Who (1991)

married with children - married ... with who (1991)

after a drinking binge at a bankers party, marcy reveals herself to be married to a mysterious hunk named jefferson d'arcy, whom al finds out to be a gigolo and con artist. to make marcy feel better to this unexpected change in her life, peggy decides to throw a formal wedding ceremony for marcy and jefferson in the bundy's back yard, in which nothing goes a planned.

Video:Getting married

getting married

she definetly want's to get married... :)

Video:Been Married Too Long

been married too long

been married too long.

Video:Just Married Clip

just married clip

a clip from the movie "just married".

Video:Psycho Dad Theme Song From Married With Children

psycho dad theme song from married with children

psycho dad theme song from married with children. very funny.

Video:Married With Children Clips

married with children clips

a few clips of the old but famous sitcom based on family life, married with children.

Video:37-year-old Man Marries 11-year-old Girl

37-year-old man marries 11-year-old girl

an 11 year old marries a 37 year old man with the consent of her parents.

Video:Russian Wants To Marry A Cow

russian wants to marry a cow

a russian farmer has asked president vladimir putin to allow him to marry a cow.

according to mosnews, boris gabov asked putin for permission to marry the animal during a recent webcast in which russians could send email directly to the president and ask him anything.

the farmer from the kemerovo region in southern siberia said: "all the girls have left our small village and moved to the city, so i cannot find a woman to be with. but i see the solution to the problem. i love animals very much and want to ask when we will be allowed in russia to marry domestic animals, such as cows?"

it is unclear what putin's reply was.

source

Video:Married 162 Times, Why Not 100 More?

married 162 times, why not 100 more?

a bosnian man who claims to have been married 162 times said he wants to marry at least another 100 women.

nedeljko ilincic, 75, from milosevac in bosnia and herzegovina, said he first got married when he was 15 and since then it has been "just one wife after another".

he said he now plans to see if his "feat" is worthy of a place in the guinness book of records.

the former waiter has 14 children from different marriages.

"i did it mainly because my parents wanted me to marry a woman named joka, even though she was 20 years older than me, because her family was rich.

"i soon divorced her though because i didn't like her and after that it was just one wife after another. i seemed to be getting either married or divorced all the time.

"the length of the marriages was always different, sometimes i'd spend a few years with my wife, other times it would just be a week. i must hold the record though."

and the former waiter, who is currently single, said that at 75 he had not lost his appetite for marriage.

he said: "i'm still very popular with the ladies. at the moment there are two i could choose from, janja and dragica, and i've heard one of my ex-wives petra also wants me back.

"i may be getting on a bit, but i'm not ready to give up on love just yet. another 100 marriages would probably calm me down."

damn, nothing gets past this man's pride...
ananova

Video:Woman Marries 15-Year Old, Spends Honeymoon In Jail

woman marries 15-year old, spends honeymoon in jail

a pregnant 37-year-old georgia woman who eloped with a 15-year-old boy was in jail on charges of child molestation, authorities in the southern state said on tuesday.

lisa lynnette clark was arrested last week in hall county, georgia a day after a judge married her and the unidentified teenager. clark was being jailed in gainesville, about 50 miles northeast of atlanta.

clark and the teen had a sexual relationship, perhaps for as long as two years, according to the hall county sheriff's department, which is investigating the case. clark's marriage to the boy does not protect her from prosecution, police said.

under georgia law, teenagers may marry as long as they are at least 16 and have the permission of a parent or guardian. those restrictions are waived, however, when a female applicant is pregnant.

in a statement, the judge who issued the marriage license said she had complied with state law.

my way news

Video:Get Married Or Get Fired

get married or get fired

a major iranian state-owned company has told its single employees to get married by september or face losing their jobs, the press reported today.

"one of the economic entities in the south of the country has asked its single employees to start creating a family," the hardline kayhan daily reported.

the paper did not mention the name of the company but the reformist etemad newspaper said the firm was the pars special economic energy zone company - which covers iran's giant gas and petrochemical facilities on the shores of the gulf.

"unfortunately some of our colleagues did not fulfil their commitments and are still single," etemad quoted the company's directive as saying:

"as being married is one of the criteria of employment, we are announcing for the last time that all the female and male colleagues have until september 21 to go ahead with this important and moral religious duty."

sexual relations outside of marriage are illegal in iran - for the most part a traditional society where young people normally are encouraged by their families to marry in their 20s and swiftly bear children.

the country is also in the midst of an unprecedented moral crackdown which has seen tens of thousands of women warned by the police for dress deemed to be unislamic.

the directive - signed by the head of security of the "pars special economic energy zone" - also used some of sayings (hadith) of the muslim prophet mohammed to encourage employees to marry.

it said employees' contracts will be annulled by october 22 if they are still found to be single.

the giant energy zone of refineries is located on iran's southern coastal energy hub assalouyeh where temperatures reach 50 celsius in summer, hardly a place for families.

the workers are usually young males seeking to earn a good income and the decree appears aimed at making them marry to ensure they eschew sexual temptations during their stay away from home.

source
in the midst of an unprecedented moral crackdown - 'scuse my ignorance but really... unprecedented? because khomeini's reign was a simple bump in the road? wtf w/e.

Video:Man Marries Goat, Goat Dies, Widower Gets

man marries goat, goat dies, widower gets "kid"

you may remember the story, from some time back, about the man, charles tombe, who was found romancing and copulating with a goat on a farm in sudan.

amused village elders in juba, sudan, demanded that the man pay a dowry of 15,000 dinars to the goat's owner, and in an interesting turn, forced the man to marry the goat as a means of humiliating him in a humorous manner.

now it seems this romantic tale has taken a tragic turn as the man's bride, rose the goat, recently died. aww.

reports indicate that charles and rose's family must have lived in squalor, as she apparently died after choking on a plastic bag while she was rummaging for food scraps off the streets of juba.

there's more.

during the time they were married, rose gave birth to a healthy and strong "kid." while it's pretty certain that another goat was the father, meaning that rose was cheating around on tombe, officials decided that he would get sole custody of the goat-boy.

asked for comment, tombe refused to say anything and just sat in his chair, as shown in the picture above. villagers heckle him daily, affectionately calling him "the goat man."

1, 2

Video:Man in India Marries Dog

man in india marries dog

new delhi — a man in southern india married a female dog in a traditional hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death -an act he believes cursed him -a newspaper reported tuesday.

p. selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named selvi, chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony sunday at a hindu temple in the southern state of tamil nadu, the hindustan times newspaper said.

selvakumar, 33, told the paper he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago.

"after that my legs and hands got paralyzed and i lost hearing in one ear," he said in the report.

the paper said an astrologer had told selvakumar the wedding was the only way he could cure the maladies. it did not say whether his situation had improved.

deeply superstitious people in rural india sometimes organize weddings to dogs and other animals, believing it can ward off certain curses.

the paper showed a picture of selvakumar sitting next to the dog, which was wearing an orange sari and a flower garland.

the paper said the groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun.

more

my real name is not selvi, so hush up nova.

Video:Boy Married to Dog to Ward Off Tiger Attacks

boy married to dog to ward off tiger attacks

hubaneswar, india (reuters) - an infant boy was married off to his neighbors' dog in eastern india by villagers, who said it will stop the groom from being killed by wild animals, officials and witnesses said on wednesday.

around 150 tribespeople performed the ritual recently in a hamlet in the state of orissa's jajpur district after the boy, who is under two years old, grew a tooth on his upper gum.

the munda tribe see such a growth in young children as a bad omen and believe it makes them prone to attacks by tigers and other animals. the tribal god will bless the child and ward off evil spirits after the marriage.

"we performed the marriage because it will overcome any curse that might fall on the child as well on us," the boy's father, sanarumala munda, was quoted as saying by a local newspaper.

the groom, sagula, was carried by his family in a procession to the village temple, where a priest solemnized the marriage between sagula and his bride, jyoti, by chanting sanskrit hymns, a witness said.

the dog belongs to the groom's neighbors and was set free to roam around the area after the ceremony. no dowry was exchanged, the witness said, and the boy will still be able to marry a human bride in the future without filing for divorce.

indian law does not recognize weddings between people and animals, but the ritual survives in rural and tribal areas of the country.

source

Video:Would You Marry Me Again, Scummy?

would you marry me again, scummy?

a husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, "honey, if i died would you get married again?"

the man said, "no dear."

the woman said, "i'm sure you would."

so the man said, "okay, i would"

then the woman asked, "would you let her sleep in our bed?"

and the man replied, "ya, i guess so."

then the woman asked, "would you let her use my golf clubs?"

and the man replied, "no, she's left handed."

Video:Married Couple

married couple

at 85 years of age, morris marries louanne, a lovely 25-year-old. because her new husband is so old, louanne decides that on their wedding night, she and morris are to have separate bedrooms. the newlywed is concerned that her new husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

after the wedding festivities, louanne prepares herself for bed, and for the expected "knock" on the door. sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action.

they unite as one. all goes well, whereupon morris takes leave of louanne, and she prepares to go to sleep. after a few minutes, louanne hears another knock on her bedroom door.

it's morris! and he's again ready for more action! somewhat surprised, louanne consents to further coupling. when the newlyweds are done, morris kisses louanne, bids her a fond good night, and leaves.

louanne is set to go to sleep again. however, after a few short minutes, there is another knock at her door, and there he is again. morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for a bit more action. and again they enjoy one another.

as morris is once again set to leave, the young bride says to him, "i am thoroughly impressed that at your age, honey, i've been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once! you're a great lover, morris."

morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to louanne and says, "you mean i was here already?"

Video:Chinese Marry Off Dead Girls as Ghost Brides

chinese marry off dead girls as ghost brides

arranged marriages are nothing new, and in china, they even reach beyond the grave.

a grieving father and four accomplices have been arrested in china for digging up the corpse of a teenage girl to serve as a “ghost bride” for the man’s son, who died in a car crash.

the people arrested had dug up the body of a girl who poisoned herself after failing exams last year. the father had apparently paid upwards of $5,000 to the men who dug up the body for him.

marriages after death are relatively common in rural china. in these occurrences, a ceremony is performed and the bodies buried together.

the long-outlawed practice survives today: last year, a gang in southern china was arrested for creating corpses for ghost marriages when female bodies ran short.

source



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Video:Groom Fixes Teeth To Marry Dentist's Daughter

groom fixes teeth to marry dentist's daughter

an isle of wight man was told to get his teeth fixed before a dentist would let him marry his daughter.

gordon taylor, 32, was told he must have a series of fillings and cosmetic surgery before he could walk down the aisle with sarah lewis, 26.

her father, dr philip lewis, even made him wear a 'snap-on smile' cosmetic denture for the wedding in cowes.

"i didn't mean to neglect my teeth, i guess it was just the lifestyle i was leading," said mr taylor.

"when i met sarah, i guess her family noticed them more than most because her father is a dentist."

dr lewis, 56, admitted he was horrified by the sight of his future son-in-law's teeth.

"the thought of my daughter walking down the aisle to gordon with his teeth the way they were was not a good one," he said.

sarah's mother joy, who works as a receptionist at dr lewis's surgery, added: "gordon is a lovely chap but he had awful teeth, really awful teeth."

and his bride said she was thrilled mr taylor had agreed to undergo the dental work to win her hand.

"i will always love him regardless but i know the finished look will certainly please him as well as our family and friends," she said.

source

Video:Man Petitions to Marry Comic Book Character

man petitions to marry comic book character


article submitted by ug7433.

tokyo (afp) – a japanese man has enlisted hundreds of people in a campaign to allow marriages between humans and cartoon characters, saying he feels more at ease in the "two-dimensional world."

comic books are immensely popular in japan, with some fictional characters becoming celebrities or even sex symbols. marriage is meanwhile on the decline as many young japanese find it difficult to find life partners.

taichi takashita launched an online petition aiming for one million signatures to present to the government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters.

within a week he has gathered more than 1,000 signatures through the internet.

"i am no longer interested in three dimensions. i would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world," he wrote.

"however, that seems impossible with present-day technology. therefore, at the very least, would it be possible to legally authorise marriage with a two-dimensional character?"

befitting his desire to be two-dimensional, he listed no contact details, making it impossible to reach him for comment to explain if his campaign is serious or tongue-in-cheek.

but some people signing the petition are true believers.

"for a long time i have only been able to fall in love with two-dimensional people and currently i have someone i really love," one person wrote.

"even if she is fictional, it is still loving someone. i would like to have legal approval for this system at any cost," the person wrote.

japan only permits marriage between human men and women and gives no legal recognition to same-sex relationships.

japan's fans of comic books, or "manga," sometimes go to extremes.

earlier this month, a woman addicted to manga put out an online message seeking to kill her parents for asking her to throw away comic books that filled up three rooms.

prime minister taro aso is an avid fan of manga and recently complained that he has been too busy to read comic books since taking office.

source

i think we all know who jayne's petitioning to marry.

Video:Twins Unknowingly  Married in Britain

twins unknowingly married in britain

london (ap) - twins who were separated at birth got married without realizing they were brother and sister, a lawmaker said, urging more information be provided on birth certificates for adopted children.

a court annulled the british couple's union after they discovered their true relationship, lord david alton said.

"everyone has a right to knowledge about their lineage, genealogy and identity. and if they don't, then it will lead to cases of incest," alton told the associated press during a telephone interview friday.

alton first revealed details of the unusual case last month during a five-hour debate about a bill that would change regulations about human embryology.

"i was recently involved in a conversation with a high court judge who was telling me of a case he had dealt with," alton said according to a transcript of the dec. 10 debate. "it involved the normal birth of twins who were separated at birth and adopted by separate parents.

"they were never told that they were twins. they met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation."

alton gave no additional details and would not reveal the name of the judge who told him about the case.

the high court's family division declined to discuss or confirm alton's account about the twins.

alton, an independent legislator who works at liverpool's john moores university, said the siblings' inadvertent marriage raises the wider issue of the importance of strengthening the rights of children to know the identities of their biological parents, including kids who were born through in vitro fertilization.

under british law, only a mother has to be named on a birth certificate. such certificates also are not required to identify births that result from ivf or to identify the sperm donor.

in addition, british law does not require parents to ever tell children that they were the result of donated sperm.

alton believes this should be changed.

alton said he favors an amendment to the human fertility and embryology bill - which is still being debated in the house of lords - that would require birth certificates of children born from donated sperm to say that and to identify the genetic father.

referring to the twins' case, he said: "if you start trying to conceal someone's identity, sooner or later the truth will come out. and if you don't know you are biologically related to someone, you may become attracted to them and tragedies like this may occur."

source

Video:Married With Children - Al Can't Sleep

married with children - al can't sleep

al bundy has a bird keeping him up at night, so marcy tells him he needs to get an owl.

Video:Al Bundy VS. Spare Tire - Married with Children

al bundy vs. spare tire - married with children

my favorite scene of all time in television and most memorable was when a second floor aerobics studio, full of terribly overweight women, collapses into the shoe store, al bundy is laid off while the store is being repaired. al bundy then gets a night job as a security guard at his old high school, polk high. this prompts his former high school rival, spare tire dixon, to steal his prized trophy which leads to a brutal showdown. classic showdown.

Video:Scrubs - Invisible Married Women

scrubs - invisible married women

turk explains why jd never saw a woman before, even though she had been working at the hospital for the last 5 years. scene from season 5, episode 23.

Video:Just Married

just married

i have no good comment for this...


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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009

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