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this person seems to have misplaced his hairdo.
another funny skit from derrick comedy
i think most of us here should do this.
a great ted talk about the future of thought. here he points out the past failure of incentives, and calls for "practical wisdom" to pull us from the fire.
a memento moment
daniel negreanu talks about his big loss, highest pot in high stakes poker history, to gus hansen.
portland, oregon (reuters) - an oregon man has filed a $1.6 million "loss of companionship" claim against a neighbor who ran over his family's 13-year-old dog, grizz.
raymond weaver ran over the golden retriever and cocker spaniel mix in 2004 with a pick-up truck, forcing the owner, mark greenup, to have the animal euthanized, according to a lawsuit by greenup.
greenup, whose claim is usually reserved for the loss of a spouse, says the dog provided each member of his family with solace, affection, friendship, love and protection.
larry dawson, the driver's attorney, said the dog's injuries were not serious enough to require euthanasia and wants the court to dismiss the loss of companionship claim.
"i've owned dogs and i love them dearly," said dawson. "but they are by law personal property and you do not get noneconomic damages for personal property."
the case goes to trial on tuesday in clackamas county circuit court.
source
one of the presidential candidates was visiting an elementary school, and the 4th grade class he sat through began a discussion related to words and their meanings. the teacher asked the candidate if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word "tragedy." so, the candidate asked the class for an example of a tragedy. one boy stood up and said, "if my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy." "no," said the candidate, "that would be an accident." a girl raised her hand and said, "if a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone on board, that would be a tragedy." "i'm afraid not," the candidate said. "that's what we would call a great loss." the room went silent. no other children volunteered. the candidate searched the room and asked, "isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" finally, way in the back of the room, johnny raised his hand, and in a quiet voice, he said, "if your campaign plane, carrying yourself and your running mate, was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "that's right! and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" asked the candidate. "well," johnny said, "because it wouldn't be an accident and it sure as heck wouldn't be a great loss..."
my friend and i joined a weight-loss organization. at one meeting the instructor held up an apple and a candy bar. "what are the attributes of this apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our diet?" "low in calories" and "lots of fiber," were among the answers. she then detailed what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, "apples are not only more healthful but also less expensive. do you know i paid fifty-five cents for this candy bar?" we stared as she held aloft the forbidden treat. from in back of the room a small voice spoke up. "i'll give you seventy-five cents for it."
a concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. he says to the doctor, "doctor, i think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things." "well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about fifteen feet from her and say something to her. if she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness." sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. he starts off about fifteen feet from his wife in the kitchen, as she is chopping some vegetables and says, "honey, what's for dinner?" he hears no response. he moves about five feet closer and asks again. no reply. he moves five feet closer. still no reply. he gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "honey, what's for dinner?" she replies, "for the fourth time, vegetable stew!"
onn.
a man who lost on the very first question of who wants to be a millionaire. not too much grace in this one.
a mexican man weighing 1211.5 pounds and thought to be the fattest man in the world is to have his bodyweight surgically reduced in italy.
the 40-year-old manuel uribe garza is set to travel to modena, central italy, for his operation. uribe garza, who is six feet three inches tall, has been suffering from "morbid obesity" for around 20 years and is no longer mobile.
head doctor giancarlo debernardinis tells afp, "we will hold a meeting in the coming days to work out the details of the hospitalization and to prepare the operating theater and the appropriate surgical tools."
two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in miami. they had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over 12 years... chatting, and enjoying each other''s friendship. one day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "please don''t be angry with me, dear, but i am embarrassed, after all these years. . .what is your name? i am trying to remember, but i just can't." the older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "how soon do you have to know?"
a blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "what's the matter?" to which the blonde replies, "early this morning i got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.
" the boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "why don't you go home for the day.....we aren't terribly busy. just take the day off to relax and rest."
the blonde very calmly states, "no, i'd be better off here. i need to keep my mind off it and i have the best chance of doing that here." the boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual, "if you need anything, just let me know." well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.
he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! he rushes out to her, asking, "what's so bad now........are you gonna be ok??" "no," exclaims the blonde. "i just got a call from my sister. she told me that her mom died too!!"
a 700 pound man walks into a doctor's office. this doctor is known for his unusual but effective methods. the man says, "doctor you must help me. i have tried everything. i just cannot lose this weight."
the doctor hesitates for a minute. he finally looks up and says, "the only thing i can do is to sew your mouth shut and teach you to eat from your butt."
the man agrees. he returns one week later to have the procedure. six months pass and the patient returns to have the stitches out.
the doctor says, "now return to me in 1 month for a post-op checkup." the patient agrees and leaves an astonishing 180 pounds.
one month later, the patient returns for his post-op checkup. as the patient sits down in the chair, the doctor notices the man is twitching his butt up and down. he lets it go and continues his examination. after one hour of watching this man twitch his butt the doctor can't take it anymore.
he finally says, "mr. robertson. i have concluded that you have a nervous tick in your butt as a result of your operation."
the man thinks then laughs out loud. he says, "doc that ain't no twitch. i'm chewing gum. wanna see me blow a bubble?".
this is just a 1 million dollar car down the drain along with a life.
