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Video:Stewart Francis One-liners

stewart francis one-liners

stewart francis is the king of one liners. this is a clip of his five minute appearance on the late late show that i found on his site.

Video: Freedom Of The Seas Cruise Liner 1 of 3

freedom of the seas cruise liner 1 of 3

royal caribbean cruises has launched the world’s largest cruise ship knows as "freedom of the seas". this luxury cruise liner is a 158,000-tonne ship accommodating 3,600 guests. in comparison, cunard’s queen mary ii holds 2,620 passengers. a few of several incredible amenities include luxurious theaters, h20 zone, an adults-only jungle-themed solarium, a designated sports pool, rock climbing and an ice rink.

Video: Freedom Of The Sea Cruise Liner 2 of 3

freedom of the sea cruise liner 2 of 3

royal caribbean cruises has launched the world’s largest cruise ship knows as "freedom of the seas". this luxury cruise liner is a 158-tonne ship accommodating 3,600 guests. in comparison, cunard’s queen mary ii holds 2,620 passengers. a few of several incredible amenities include luxurious theaters, h20 zone, an adults-only jungle-themed solarium, a designated sports pool, rock climbing and an ice rink.

Video:Freedom Of The Sea Cruise Liner 3 of 3

freedom of the sea cruise liner 3 of 3

royal caribbean cruises has launched the world’s largest cruise ship knows as "freedom of the seas". this luxury cruise liner is a 158-tonne ship accommodating 3,600 guests. in comparison, cunard’s queen mary ii holds 2,620 passengers. a few of several incredible amenities include luxurious theaters, h20 zone, an adults-only jungle-themed solarium, a designated sports pool, rock climbing and an ice rink.

Video:Stewart Francis - One Liners

stewart francis - one liners

here is stewart francis with his brilliant one liners, this is him appearing on british television (itv) on the show for one night only.

Video:RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS

rodney dangerfield's best one-liners

1. and we were poor too. why if i wasn't born a boy.... i'd have nothing to play with

2. a girl phoned me the other day and said.... "come on over, there's nobody home." i went over. nobody was home.

3. if it weren't for pickpockets i'd have no sex life at all.

4. during sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. just the other night she called me from a hotel

5. one day as i came home early from work..... i saw a guy jogging naked. i said to the guy.... "hey buddy .... why are you doing that?" he said ...."because you came home early."

6. it’s been a rough day. i got up this morning.... put on a shirt and a button fell off. i picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. i'm afraid to go to the bathroom

7. when i played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up

8. i could tell that my parents hated me. my bath toys were a toaster and a radio

9. my mother never breast fed me. she told me that she only liked me as a friend

10. my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

11. when i was born.... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father.... i'm very sorry. we did everything we could...... but he pulled through

12. my mother had morning sickness -- after i was born.

13. i remember the time i was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. he said he wanted more proof

14. once when i was lost..... i saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. i said to him.... "do you think we'll ever find them?" he said ... "i don't know kid .... there are so many places they can hide."

15. my wife made me join a bridge club. i jump off next tuesday.

16. i worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big i'd get

17. i went to see my doctor. "doctor, every morning when i get up and look in the mirror... i feel like throwing up; what’s wrong with me?" he said..."i don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

18. i went to the doctor because i'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest

Video:One liners

one liners

what do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
divorced.

what do you call a mexican lady with no legs?
cuntswaylow.

what do you call a mexican soccer player with no legs?
grassyass.

  • Votes 3.6111/5
  • Views 556
  • Comments 2
  • Date 1/23/2006
  • by Natz

Video:Tim Vine - One Liners and Puns

tim vine - one liners and puns

this comedian hold the record for most jokes told in and hour.

  • Votes 3.3728/5
  • Views 1191
  • Comments 5
  • Date 10/19/2006
  • by blong

Video:CSI: Miami - Opening One-liners Compilation

csi: miami - opening one-liners compilation

maybe he could come up with some good chat up lines.

Video:Clever One Liners

clever one liners

i wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.... then it hit me.

police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was.... resisting a rest.

did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? he's all right now.

the roundest knight at king arthur's round table was.... sir cumference.

the butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a..... little behind in his work.

to write with a broken pencil is..... pointless.

when fish are in schools they sometimes take..... debate.

the dwarf fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a..... small medium at large.

a thief who stole a calendar got..... twelve months.

a thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. he became.... a hardened criminal.

thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with... stalking.

we'll never run out of math teachers because they will.... always multiply.

what do you see when the smog lifts in los angeles..... u c l a.

the math professor went crazy with the blackboard. he did..... a number on it.

the professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was..... on shaky ground.

the dead batteries were given out..... free of charge.

if you take a laptop computer for a run you could...... jog your memory.

a dentist and a manicurist fought..... tooth and nail.

what's the definition of a will?..... it's a dead giveaway

Video:CSI Miami: David Caruso One-Liners: Sunglasses Edition

csi miami: david caruso one-liners: sunglasses edition

a montage of caruso delivering his signature one-timers, with sunglasses.

Video:Best One-Liners Ever

best one-liners ever

a montage of some of our favorite movie lines.

Video:Duke Nukem One-Liners

duke nukem one-liners

truly a modern day poet.

Video:CSI - Caruso One Liners

csi - caruso one liners

does it ever get old?


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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009

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