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a man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. as he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
"what are you doing out here at 2 a.m.?" said the officer.
"i'm going to a lecture." the man said.
"and who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
"my wife." said the man.
reach! a lecture musical. this is an amazingly well done and creative video of a guy who bursts into a broadway style song and dance in the middle of a college lecture. you''d think this was a setup but judging by the students and professors reactions, this is completely impromptu. this took some serious nerve.
professor randy pausch from carnegie mellon university has fatal pancreatic cancer and gives a lecture giving some advice based on his impending death. life sucks if you let it.
carnegie mellon professor randy pausch (oct. 23, 1960 - july 25, 2008) gave his last lecture at the university sept. 18, 2007, before a packed mcconomy auditorium. in his moving presentation, "really achieving your childhood dreams," pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals. for more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture. || sorry if it is a repost (by myself). tried to upload the original avi. didn't seem to work.
an autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. standing over a corpse, he addressed the class: “there are two things you need to succeed in medical forensics. first, you must have no fear.” having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse’s anus and licked it. “now you must do the same,” he told the class. after a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed. “second,” the professor continued, “you must have an acute sense of observation. for instance, how many of you noticed that i put my middle finger up this corpse’s anus, but licked my index finger?”
dear kids of america:
when i was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-a average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
and i remember promising myself that when i grew up there was no way i was going to lay a bunch of shit like that on kids about how hard i had it and how easy they've got it. but.... now that i've reached the ripe old age of forty, i can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. you've got it so easy! compared to my childhood, you live in a freaking utopia! and i hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
when i was a kid we didn't have the internet -- we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves! and there was no email! we had to actually write somebody a letter -- with a pen! --and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! and there were no mp3s or napster! you wanted to steal music, you had to go to the record store and shoplift it yourself! or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the dj would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!
you want to hear about hardship? you couldn't just download porn! you had to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "hustler" at the 7-11! those were your options! we didn't have fancy stuff like call waiting! if you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! and we didn't have fancy caller id boxes either. when the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, you didn't know! you just had to pick it up and take your chances!
we didn't have any fancy sony playstation video games with high-resolution 3-d graphics! we had the atari 2600! with games like "space invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked! your guy was a little square and in order to have any fun you had to rely on your imagination! and there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! and you could never win, the game just kept on getting harder and faster until you died! when you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! all the seats were the same height! a tall guy sat in front of you, you were out of luck.
and sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no on screen menu! you had to use a little book called a tv guide to find out what was on! and there was no cartoon network! you could only get cartoons on saturday morning. did you hear what i said you lazy little freaks? we had to wait all week for cartoons! that's exactly what i'm talking about! you kids today have got it too easy. you guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! .....but i don't want to lecture you.
some guys planned this during a physics 140 class at the university of michigan.
creationist kent hovind (also known as inmate number 135733) tells a crowd of mental subnormals about the 'ice shield' that once 'surrounded the earth' and how dinosaurs are really '900 year old lizards that don't stop growing'. this is laughable beyond words. make no mistake this is what christians really believe!
why assholes are necessary.
bobby joe blythe, the man behind the death of the homeless mentally challenged man speaks to his students about his class. you see what a maniac he truly is by hearing him talk here.
