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penn introduces an orthodox jewish man to the wonders of non-kosher food.
back in the time of the samurai there was a powerful emperor. this emperor needed a new head samurai so he sent out a message to one and all that he was searching for one. a year passes and only three people show up: a japanese samurai, a chinese samurai and a jewish samurai.
the emperor asks the japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. the japanese samurai opens a match box and out pops a little fly. whoosh goes his sword and the fly drops dead on the ground in two pieces. the emperor says, "that is very impressive!"
the emperor then asks the chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate. the chinese samurai opens a match box and out pops a fly. whoosh whoosh. the fly drops dead on the ground in four pieces. "that is really impressive."
the emperor then has the jewish samurai demonstrate why he should be the head samurai. the jewish samurai thinks, if it works for the other two, why not try.
whoooooooossshhh. a gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still alive and buzzing around. the emperor asks in disappointment, "why is the fly not dead?" the jewish samurai replies, "if you look closely, the fly has been circumcised!"
the israeli human rights group b`tselem has released graphic video footage showing settlers fighting with palestinians in hebron and shooting two men at close range in the hours after a settler house was evacuated by police yesterday. the film, recorded by a palestinian resident in hebron, shows settlers attacking his house, which was in a valley close to the three-storey building where dozens of settlers were evicted by israeli riot police. in the hours after the eviction, jewish settlers rioted in hebron, throwing stones at police and palestinians and setting fire to palestinian trees and attacking palestinian homes. most of the violence took place between the evicted house and the nearby hardline jewish settlement of kirya arba.
jewish girl prank calls her parents live on radio. a healthy dose of good old religious racism for you.
an elderly jewish gentleman marries a much younger woman. no matter what he does sexually, the wife never achieves orgasm. since a jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi.
the rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and made the following suggestion: "hire a strapping young man. while the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. that will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."
they go home and follow the rabbi's advice. they hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.
"okay," he says to the husband, "let's try it reversed. have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. the young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel! the young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm.
the husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly: "you see, you young schmuck?
that's how you wave a towel!"
doug stanhope realizes that after years of bashing religions, he never bashed the religion of the jews.
[few cards are more beliefs than actual religions. i'm just making thing easier to label - please don't freak out.]
'remember the sunday brunch and keep it holy' my zodiac food: schmear
look at them go!
the decision to ban george galloway from canada seems odd, but now it emerges that the jewish defence league (jdl) pressured the canadian government to so the action takes on sinister connotations for canada, why? becasue the jewish defence league are according to the fbi a terrorist group. in its report, terrorism 2000/2001, the fbi referred to the jdl as a "violent extremist jewish organization". this "violent extremist jewish organization" now it seems has power and influence over the canadian government.
jewish settlers essentially squatting on whatever piece of land they choose and constructing houses and towns in a defiant gesture of "now that i'm here – it's all mine
an old jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. a man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" and the man said, "where do get coffee for 3 cents?" and the beggar said, "who buys retail?"
avenue q and the revival of fiddler on the roof joined up at a bc/efa's concert to present 'everyone's a little bit jewish'.
in 1999, the german parliament voted 325 to 218, with 8 members abstaining, to dedicate the berlin memorial only to the jews who lost their lives during the twelve-year nazi regime. the 5 million other victims of the nazis such as the gypsies, homosexuals, jehovah's witnesses, catholic priests, protestant ministers, communists, social democrats, anti-fascist resistance fighters and partisans, the work-shy, german criminals, the disabled, and the anti-socials were not included. however, plans have been made for future memorials in the heart of berlin for the roma and sinti (gypsies) and the homosexuals that were murdered by the nazis.
robotic jew.
the israeli government has allowed settlers to live smack, bang in the middle of a palestinian town and, in so doing, has turned a once thriving shopping precinct into a virtual ghost town.
sir gerald kaufman, the veteran labour mp, yesterday compared the actions of israeli troops in gaza to the nazis who forced his family to flee poland. during a commons debate on the fighting in gaza, he urged the government to impose an arms embargo on israel. sir gerald, who was brought up as an orthodox jew and zionist, said: "my grandmother was ill in bed when the nazis came to her home town a german soldier shot her dead in her bed. "my grandmother did not die to provide cover for israeli soldiers murdering palestinian grandmothers in gaza. the present israeli government ruthlessly and cynically exploits the continuing guilt from gentiles over the slaughter of jews in the holocaust as justification for their murder of palestinians." he said the claim that many of the palestinian victims were militants "was the reply of the nazi" and added: "i suppose the jews fighting for their lives in the warsaw ghetto could have been dismissed as militants." he accused the israeli government of seeking "conquest" and added: " they are not simply war criminals, they are fools."
i'm not black.. but damn.
